Hello All,

I have had a spike in my drinking the last few days. I am getting back to work full time on Tuesday, and have had several 10-13 unit nights in a row. It is a little scary. I don't know if this is me working through some more triggers or what.

I really want my booze again at night, and once I've had a couple, it is off to the races.

Hopefully this will pass soon. I am trying to keep the faith.

Take care, everyone.

Hello everyone,

I am back at work full speed. I am really busy working from around 7:30 to 4 or 5, and then having a lot of responsibilities with my 4 kids, driving them around to lessons, etc.

Very briefly, I am attempting to keep my units to 7 or 8 a night. I am hoping to work down to 6, 5, etc. I am in a position to exert more willpower.

Monday night was a big unit night for me, I was stressed as the first work day was Tuesday.

Tuesday night was great. I had 7 units. Went to bed. My wife was really pleased and we had a great evening.

Wednesday night wasn't as good. Tried to stop at 7 units, but had another 3 to make 10. It was a very busy day, my wife went to bed early, and there were a lot of chores to do at home. This was all of my past triggers that caused me to drink 12-18 units a night 2 years ago. Stopping at 10 is awesome compared to my worst days 2 years ago, but still a ridiculous amount to drink on a work night. I am ashamed to say that I am not feeling too bad in the morning at all, and am noticeably more clear headed during the day.

Tonight I was busy at work and had an evening function that kept me sobre and out of the house until after 9pm. I used to grip until I got home and then drink like crazy on nights like this. Tonight, I took my pill on the way home. When I got home, I still had 30 minutes to wait until the 1 hour had passed with the NAL. I decided to tidy my room a bit and iron my dress clothes for tomorrow. It was not hard at all to wait. That would have been impossible 2 years ago.

I am 4 units in right now, with the first NFL game of the year on. I suspect that I will have 2-4 more units and go to bed. I have an early meeting tomorrow morning. I remember with much shame how difficult it would be for me in the past to try not to drink so much that I was still under the influence in the early morning. It won't be a problem tonight.

I am reminding myself of all of the positives, and they are many.

I am disappointed that I am not cured yet, I must admit. I am bad at eating junk food late at night after drinking a large number of units and it has caused me to put on about 15 pounds in the last few months despite my exercising almost every day. That is discouraging. I know if I could just stop drinking, I wouldn't eat late night garbage, and the pounds would melt off. I feel myself getting impatient, but I know that this is working. I really do. I just wish it was faster.

That's how I feel tonight. All the best to everyone.

Thanks for posting, I really mean that. I am afraid I will be waiting a long time, too. I have lots of years of drinking behind me. Worse, I am really good at it. It seems, the longer and higher the units the longer it takes. Or at least that's what I have gleaned from TSM.net

I hope your breakthrough is soon!

I have to post this, although I am POI (posting under the influence)

My wife just told me that she finally believes that this is working. I have had many nights where I have drank a lot and she was thinking that the TSM was nonsense. I could always feel the change deep in my brain. She told me that there were a lot of times when I had drank, and I was telling her that TSM was working, but that she just couldn't believe it.

She just said that, "I can see that now you want to exercise, and do things with your kids, and that drinking is not your #1 priority anymore" and that she is so thankful.

26 weeks to that moment. I must state that I am proud of myself that I have never once drank without NAL and the hour wait. I am convinced that if you never break, "The Golden Rule" that you are certain of success, although it might take 9 months, a year or more.

Wow. I needed that. Thank you Dr. Sinclair and Dr. Eskapa. You have saved my life.

Its really brill when our other halves notice. My hubby doesnt even know that Im on nal. Last night the final of Celebrity Big Brother was on ( I know mindless drivel but I enjoy it) and myself and my sister were drinking wine. She got quite drunk and I had to walk her home. When I came back hubby said thank God you quit drinking like that, I hated to come home and see you mindless like that.

Hi JDog - just got through the second half of your thread this morning.

My pre-Nal drinking pattern was very similar to yours (drinking daily...and drinking heavily, just substitute bourbon or Narragansett Lager for vodka), so your experience has been of particular interest to me. Don't worry too much about your recent spike, since the start of the school year has gotta be stressful for you, and it's likely a trigger you haven't had a chance to extinguish yet (since you're only 20+ weeks in). Compound this with the start of the NFL season and the looming MLB playoffs...lots of triggers this month.

Speaking of MLB, if the Red Sox make it to the postseason (they should), my anxiety is going to be through the roof. I'm not even a week in yet, but I have no doubt my numbers are going to be a sh*tshow during October.

Just wanted to offer my support, and let you know I'm rooting for you! Hang in there buddy.

-H

How wonderful to get confirmation from your SO that this is really working! I know we can feel it in our brains but it is really nice when others notice too. I know TSM takes a long time and I can only imagine your frustration but keep at it! You WILL get there - you've already had so much success!
Oh, and I ABSOLUTELY hear you about the junk food. I am generally a fit person, enjoy exercising, enjoy eating balanced meals that make my body feel good, no really tendancies to binge on crap food...unless I am really drunk or really hungover!!! And then all bets are off. I have sometimes eaten an entire day's worth of calories (2000 or so) in a half hour after getting home drunk, on top of my three square meals that day. It's strange as well, I find that on nal I NEED to eat while drinking, at least a bite here and there. I used to be able to power through a night of drinking (sometimes without dinner before, eeep!) and not notice I was hungry until I got home to bed. Now, I feel as though drinking on nal MAKES me hungry, even if I ate right before. STRANGE.

Hello everyone,

I have had a couple of really good days. Not in terms of units, but in terms of behaviour and control. It is turning for me. I have a very long pause before I continue to drink after the first couple. I have a full debate/conversation internally before I continue to drink. I sense that my logical, human brain is gaining the advantage over my addictive voice, which had me in its clutches for a few years before TSM.

I need to exert more self-control, I feel, but I am just taking my NAL and drinking through it for now.

My wife wrote me the nicest email on Friday at her lunch time. She told me how she used to fear the weekend, and how she thought we might be broken and unfixable, before TSM. How she was skeptical all those TSM nights where it looked like I was drinking like before, and I tried to tell her that it is different now.

She is going away with friends for a weekend in a month or so, and she stated that she doesn't have to worry anymore. It was a great weekend. I am still drinking 10 units late at night on these weekends, which is brutal, but it is a serious improvement on my terrible past.

She told me that she knows I am back, and that everything is ok and that she is looking forward to the rest of our lives.

I am back at my ridiculously hectic work schedule now. Tonight, I am watching Monday Night Football. It is 12:35AM right now, and I am still clear headed, writing this, and my wife is asleep on the couch here with me.

I had 4 units tonight, after NAL of course. I seriously considered not drinking any more, but gave in and had more after a long pause. I used to go to my basement to isolate myself and drink every Monday 15-20 units. Today, I really didn't want to go down there and be away from my family. I want to be with them, and this urge to drink is an annoyance that I live with. Soon it will be gone, I hope.

All the best to everyone. This site, TSM, and the Good Doctors have saved my life, I am sure.

Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!! Hopefully, you will get to the desired outcome soon.

Sounds like you're right on course. Keep with it!