Hi HG,
I am so glad to hear from you. I, like others, were worried that things were not going well for you. I am a few weeks ahead of you, and I felt just like you did about 4 weeks ago. I feel irritated that I was not making more progress, still unable to face an AF day. I remember standing in the shower with hot water pouring over me and just thinking, I guess this will just take as long as it takes, but I'm sick of this and want more. That's when I decided, screw this, I was going to force myself to do an AF whether I felt ready or not. I can liken it to when I was a little kid and got caught doing something bad. My parents were hugely strict and would make us go upstairs and wait while they decided our fate. Those minutes of absolute dread were enough to make you sick. The anticipation of what they were going to do to you was always way worse than the reality. The AF day was the same. The anxiety and fear of not taking NAL and not drinking was paralyzing; in reality, way worse than the AF day itself. Once I survived it, and could look back on it, I realized that habit, fear and anxiety had held me hostage. The next AF day was easier and each progressive one has been easier. I'm not saying you're ready for an AF day. You will know when you are ready. I just know that the power of habit is stronger than we realize and one day you will just look at that daily habit and say, not today. I believe I have many weeks ahead of me to prove to myself that I can repeat last week. I believe in NAL and in you and wish you all the best in the coming weeks.

Hi HG, good to hear from you!
Server- great post, I totally agree with what you wrote about the power of habit. You've made such great progress!

-dragonfly

Glad to hear things are ok, HG. I'm sure change will come for you sooner rather than later!!
EL

Hi HG

Good to hear from you again. It's also good to hear the chair & wine are slowly becoming less appealing. If you want a laugh read my latest "bag lady" story. In the weekend it seemed like the end of the world (again!) but at least it has put me off drinking for the past 4 days. I'm sick of drinking too much then feeling down.
Onwards & upwards...

Sticky

Hi All - Not posting much these days as not much to report. I haven't updated my signature in a couple of weeks either. I am stuck at about 35 units a week or a little less. What I have noticed that has changed is that I never drink more than a bottle of wine a night and some nights less. For weeks in TSM my unit numbers were all over the map and I always had two nights a week at least where I tipped into bottle number two and that isn't happening anymore. My witching hour has changed significantly too. I don't start until around 6:00 or 6:30 p.m. whereas I used to have to start at 4:30 or I was CRAZY!

Last night is a good example of my regained control (although I'm nowhere near where I need to be in the end when I announce I've regained control). My oldest daughter called about 3:30 to tell me she had wrecked the car (wasn't that bad). I knew right away that I was going to have to go home and deal with that so I took my Nal. I started drinking about 4:30 and was super worried that for the first time in weeks I was going to go over a bottle of wine. Instead, I kept it at a bottle even though I had about two extra hours of drinking. After I had the thought that I was probably going to go over a bottle since I was starting drinking at 4:30, I didn't give it another thought. I just did my usual routine and there were no major snafu's. In fact, I probably stopped drinking way earlier than usual but I didn't take notice of that either.

I am still drinking way more than what I want to be at, but I also still feel the extinction happening. That keeps me going. I haven't had the urge to push for more control and am just letting it happen right now. I have a couple of events coming up in the next week that may force an AF day and once that happens I really believe I will be on my way.

Hope everyone is keeping the faith. Onward to REGAINED CONTROL or CURED!

Hi HG

It's good to hear you're managing to keep to a bottle or less a night. Good for you. I can't yet guarantee I'll stop at a bottle, but I usually do.
It was great to read about Warren's success this week. We are just behind him so fingers crossed we'll have better news to report soon.
Have a good week.

Cheers
Sticky

Hi All - Keeping on....keeping on.

On Sunday my regular liquor store had closed/gone out of business, so I stopped at a new one. They did not have my usual Pinot Noir so I bought a different brand. I got home around 6:30 and opened the bottle. I had taken my Nal about 2 hours earlier. The wine was terrible. I dumped the whole bottle down the drain after trying to drink a 1/2 a glass. I then opened the second bottle I had bought thinking maybe it was just the one bottle, but it was just as bad. I had a sip of a 1/2 glass of that and then tried to mix it with soda water to cut the taste. No good, so I dumped that down the drain as well and just drank water.

I learned that night that I cannot drink if I choose to. There were no cravings and I didn't get in the car to go to a different liquor store to buy wine.

Onward on the journey of TSM. I will finish week 25 tonight likely at 30 units, but I just never know for sure. Some nights it is a whole bottle and some nights I don't even feel like drinking. So far though I haven't gone over a bottle of wine in a night for weeks and weeks. However, I have yet to have an AF night even though I've come pretty close by having only one unit in an evening. My goal is to force an AF day next week. Wish me luck!

Sounds like progress HG. Let us know how it goes next week. You can do it...you just have to do it.

Hi St. V - Yes, I just have to do it. That is the only reason I'm stuck and I know it. Thanks for the encouragement.

Agreed, you can do it!