Thanks Guapa and Newlife. I agree totally. I am beginning to be more mindful in my drinking (I've had two AF days this week yay!!) and it wasn't even that hard. I will be AF today too as I've decided that I will no longer drink two days in a row.

I was definitely drinking mindlessly before. I really believed that TSM wasn't working for me as I was still drinking every single day, but I now realise that I was almost forcing myself to drink when I didn't even really want it.

What I have noticed is that my craving for alcohol is actually very low indeed. I know it's early days, but on the last few days that I've made the decision to be AF my craving has been really low - I haven't suffered or climbed the walls in frustration. Also, when I haven't had alcohol I sleep like a log - I've never slept so well and deeply (hope that continues!).

I feel that I'm finally making progress - will keep posting.

Please do snapdragon that all sounds really good. I feel the same way about sleep when not drinking......AL disturbs my sleep like crazy.

Take care!! Newlife

That's Super Snapdragon, glad to hear it !!

G

Good to hear Snap - I still do not sleep well whether I drink or not - hoping that goes away with more AF days though. I need to be more aware of if I actually have cravings or if it is just habit - are you finding that yours was habit rather than cravings ?

Hugs, Maggie x

Hi Maggie - have you tried meditation? I know in theory you aren't supposed to fall asleep but I seem to when I try it. You can download free apps if you have an iphone (if not I'm sure you will find free ones on YouTube). Try doing it during the day and then replicate the method when you can't sleep at night - I find being totally aware of your body, your breathing and imagining yourself somewhere amazing - I usually imagine I'm walking barefoot on a beach with the sun shining and the sea lapping at my feet - really helps me to relax. Even if you can't sleep - maybe you won't feel so frustrated by lying awake?

Regarding cravings / habit - I really think that a lot of my addiction is habit. One thing that I have found about myself from reading 'Recover' which apparently is very common for people with addictions is self-loathing and the feeling almost of punishing yourself because you're unworthy. I am actually quite a positive person in general, but I feel like my addiction is almost some type of subconscious punishment (crazy, I know). Some days I actually don't fancy drinking wine - I think about the taste of it and think 'yuk' I don't fancy that tonight - yet I will still go an buy a bottle of wine and almost force myself to drink the first glass.

Now I'm tying to be mindful and aware, instead of reaching for the wine, I'm thinking about it first. Do I really want it? What pleasure is it actually going to give me? Would a glass of soda be just as nice (or better)?

Another thing that is helping me from the Recover book is the fact that I am a whole, valuable person and my addiction is not part of me - it is a completely separate thing. Instead of wrapping myself up as an 'addicted person' I am now looking at it on its own. Its not part of me, I don't need it and I need to learn to distance myself from it.

Sorry for babbling on - but this is really helping me - at last!!

It sounds like you are doing well, Snapdragon. I love that you are distancing yourself from the addiction. Something to think about.

Snap - thanks for the advice re meditation - I used to meditate all the time but I would never do it after I had been drinking 'cos I worried I was opening my mind up to stuff when it wasn't on straight - if you follow ! I did the other night lie there and start relaxing my body from the toes up and was out like a light - I need to remember to do that when I am awake in the night !

I am not sure how much of mine is addiction and how much is habit - after 3 AF days I get very antsy and irritable - is that habit or addiction ? And then once I have a drink I am fine .....

thanks ...... hugs, Maggie x

Snap,

I just want to say how proud I am of your progress! Keep up the good work. And am I the only one that sleeps better after drinking with the nal.? I think I will try your meditation and visualization technique. I do what Maggie does with starting with relaxing the toes, but I have to say walking on the beach sounds heavenly!

Jaba

Yeah. Defining yourself as an addict is a one-way ticket to despair. The beauty of TSM, is it avoids labels. You can get better proactively, AND feel good about yourself

Hello everyone! A bit late, but Happy New Year. I can't believe that it's so long since I visited this site and posted.

Maggie - I am so overjoyed for you that you are finally getting the fantastic results you deserve. It just goes to prove that if you stick with TSM it will finally work.

An update on me. I am now one year and two months in on TSM and I wouldn't say that I'm cured by any means, but life is certainly much better. When I drink, I no longer get 'drunk' - I still enjoy a glass of wine or two a bit too much.

Since Christmas, with so many social events with lots of drink, I've made a pact to never drink two days in a row. I was hoping to WOW (wine on weekends only) but I have a couple of big work events with lots of social networking, so I plan to do this when I get back. However, in general I am now averaging 3 AF days a week - which for me is truly a miracle.

I still think I drink too much - but compared with how my life was prior to TSM it is 90% better.

On my AF days I don't crave a drink any more at all which is fantastic (I used to hate trying to be AF, climbing the walls) now I just decide that I'm not drinking that day and get on with it.