I don't see my post from yesterday. Yes, my preferred poison, white wine (sauvignon blanc), often tastes sour. As Labear has, I've bounced around to other drinks and have settled on red wine for the health benefits. Its taste is ; sometimes, any wine tastes great. tolerableInterestingly, this phenomenon stayed with me during my forced non-nal period (surgeries, opoioid analgesics). BTW, I'm about to start nal again.

As for the sweats and vivid dreams, they may be endorphin/opioid withdrawal. Eskapa posted here somewhere (couldn't find it) that he and Sinclair discussed the nausea and surmised that it could be a withdrawal symptom. Our brains are used to being flooded with endorphins and now nal is preventing that. Just a thought.

Lena, wow if this is true for me that is a great sign with the benzo stuff going on it would be proof that this is working for me!!!!! I can only hope!!! Never thought of that!!! Thanks!

Another TSM day yesterday. Oddly, each beer was quite neutral in taste and I think I got buzzed after 6 of them. My memory for last evening is not as good as it has been recently, also. Kind of a strange experience, in my opinion. Almost like the "old days".

I want to have an AF day today, but for some reason, Thursdays have not been kind to me for planned AF days. I'll tellya how it goes.

Bob

Well, my Thursday went like most Thursdays... (1) 50mg Naltrexone, (1) hour, (6) beers.

I have so much resolve to abstain, until that special time mid-afternoon, when I become:

"Alcohol Man"! Able to do nothing with no regard for anyone. And who, disguised as Bob, a respected member of the work force, continues to drink, fail, and wake up in the morning as a disgusted self-loathing mess.

OK, enough with the Superman spoof. I really would like to spend more days sober than not. Is that too much to ask? Each day when I rationalize drinking with Nal again, I think OK I'll do it this last time, but this will be it... the next time will be an AF day. That day never comes, though. I want my freedom from alcohol and I want it now.

Bob

Bob and Everyone,
I haven't noticed at this point any dislike to my wine as of yet. So far my cravings and consumption have stayed about the same. Thanks for the update on your tapering Bob. I am currently tapering from Clonazapam. I have to laugh though, that it is getting harder to cut the pills into equal sizes. I have halved a .5 mg, then quartered. Now I am taking a "quartered" piece of Clonazapam and kind of "shaving" a bit off the pill with my fingernail! Not sure what dose that would be called, but my pill cutter can only cut so small without it crushing it to a powder. But, with all the advice here, I want to be sure to cut the dose very very slowly. I haven't been posting lately to my own weekly progress, mainly because it has stayed pretty constant week to week. I know though, being around week 10, I am still a ways from starting to see the effects of tsm. I am looking towards the end of summer as hopes that I will start to see some real change. Anyway, I appreciate reading all the posts and experiences from all of you!

Bob,
I love your sense of humor! Anyway, I am at week 10 and you are at week 13, so aren't we both "not far along enough with tsm" to have any real changes yet? I just don't have any expectations right now because of where I am at time wise. Now, when month four to six comes along and nothing happens, then that will be another thing. I just think most of us haven't ticked off enough days on the calendar to know what our results will be. I know some people report various levels of progress before that time, but for myself I am just expecting the "big change" to happen further down the pike. Just my thoughts.

So here I go again, ad nauseam.

I'm posting this in several places:

I just re-read Dr. E's caution on pg. 118: ". . .it will take at least three to four months to reverse the addiction." [Emphasis his. Well. . .mine, just a little.]

That's at least, as in the minimum time frame to expect to see results. Few people here are at that point. We just saw a long-time member of this board withdraw from here, at four months, because she wasn't seeing results. Hellooooo????? How sad! So many are expressing doubt and discouragement long before the minimum amount of time the process takes.

Let's just keep reminding ourselves that this process is different for everyone, and there's no reason in the world to assume it won't work for each one of us so long as we always follow the Golden Rule: Take naltrexone one hour before you drink, every single time. Then, just don't worry about it!

Onward, and downward!

Thanks calikime! I love the part about shaving the pill with a fingernail.

I asked my psychiatrist once about how does one make 1/8 or 1/16 of a pill. He told me to do what I have seen coke heads do on TV and in the movies. Cut the pill with a pill cutter until it is quartered. Crush the tablet into a course powder and separate it into 2 or 4 equal parts with a razor blade. Then, take one portion by licking my finger and letting the powder stick to my finger and then lick my finger again. Repeat until that one dose is gone and save the rest of the powder for later. Keep track of how many doses have been taken then separate it into equal parts one less then the previous dose.

So, for 1/16 of a tablet, take ¼ tablet crush and separate into 4 portions, take one portion, put the rest away for the next dose. When it's time for the next dose separate the powder into 3 portions, take one portion. Save, then next dose, separate powder into 2 portions, take one. Save the take the rest.

What a pain! I did this for two weeks when I was tapering off some med I can't even remember right now, other than it was yellow.

I'll be doing something like this when I get to tapering my Valium at the 1mg levels when the time comes.

Bob

Thanks for the booster!
I guess my frustration could be misconstrued as an intention of giving up. I am not. I've committed to 9 months of TSM if it takes that long. Somewhere, I've said that before. Anyway, I am quite tenacious. However, I like to vent sometimes. That was last night.

Thanks again for the encouragement.

Bob

I know it's not funny, but Bob you cracked me up with this one. You nailed it too - I hate it when Alcohol Man sneaks into my house, puts on my clothes and my face, and heads out for the evening, calling himself by my name. If only Alcohol Man was the one who had to pay the price he might give it a second thought. But, unfortunately I am the one who has to pay the price for Alcohol Man's follies.

Hang in there Bob