hey, stay the course, newlife. we're with you. I too think I should talk to my doc about a real script, but I'm stocked up enough now to not worry about it, and I'm hoping to show him more results. I'm sorry your doctor is so judgmental. that sure doesn't help anybody out! I really feel the stuff we get is the real deal, I just know it's cheaper to buy in the US with a script.

small steps are big steps, newlife. not planning out your wine is a big step. don't knock it and give yourself credit. Nal on! zontar

I doubted the nal from all day chemist. Then it hit and I went into full blown opiate withdrawal while driving down the highway. I can assure you that my batch from them is 100% legit.

It sounds like you are slowly gaining some willpower. Some progress faster than others. As you are able, change your habits, etc. The gain in willpower corresponds to a lessening of addiction.

My cure was fast, but others yake much longer...

I second that.

Thanks all for the encouragement and especially sideffect for the specific news about all day chemist. I will nal on!! Newlife

hey newlife! hope you are doing OK. haven't seen you post up in a while and know you are on a little trip. Nal on and we're thinking of you. zontar

Thanks for checking on me, Zontar. I was just about to post about the end of Week 15. I haven't been tracking, but would say my consumption is about the same. I did have one AF during Week 15 and another again last night to start off Week 16. I sort of feel like I am in a "holding pattern" right now; but when I look back at myself pre-nal, something has changed for sure. So I am doing OK, just not a lot to report.

Nal on, all!! XOXO Newlife

Newlife - why are you not tracking ? I really think that you need to ..... just my tuppence worth of course....

hugs, Maggie x

Yes I agree, Maggie, I suppose I just got tired of it. But since I have started a new week I am going to start again. Thanks for being my mother hen. Hugs, Newlife

End of Week 18. My personal best: 13 US Units, 3 days AF. I have to admit that the last two days, which were AF, were forced. It was not a piece of cake, but not extremely difficult either, and I do feel really good. A lot of time to think etc. etc. My progress seems incremental, and so sometimes rather like a snail's, but then my consumption was not off the charts, either, so perhaps that was bound to be the case.

During the last week, over the weekend of course, I did drink more than I would like to: 4 Units Friday night and 5 on Saturday. I would like to see those numbers come down. Thanks to folks here on this forum, I ordered and started taking DHM and GABA. The DHM is amazing stuff: REALLY lessens hangovers. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is a weapon in the arsenal that I am getting to know.

I'm still thinking WAY too much about AL; Will I drink today? If so, when, how much and on and on. What a waste of time and of my life!! But I cannot wish it away, it is reality and so I have to deal with it, like it or not.

I suppose I am feeling cautiously optimistic. At the end of this week I am headed with my family to Ireland for two weeks. Vacation, normally, is an excuse to pull out all the stops. But, this is a once in a lifetime trip in many ways: its length, the fact that my oldest daughter is 15 and who knows how much longer she will want to make trips like this with us, etc. etc. I want to savor and remember it, not drink my way through it. I need to take it one step, one day at a time and just see how it goes.

I would like to thank everyone here on this forum for supporting me, answering my sometimes dumb questions, caring enough to read my whiny complainy posts, and just generally being there in so many ways. As Maggie said, this is not that great a club to belong to. Nevertheless, I continue to be amazed everyday by what Tennessee Williams would have called "the kindness of strangers." Many hugs, xoxo and Nal on!! Newlife

Applause!