End of week 21 update!
41 drinks, 3 AF days.

It feels good to be back to tracking drinks and doing regular weekly updates again. The last time I did that was after week 17 (4 drinks total), when I thought my alcohol problems were totally gone and I could stop trying and tracking and everything would automatically be okay. Well, that was either a little premature or overly optimistic because, as I have shared previously, my drinking levels went back up after (a.) thinking I had reached the cure point and (b.) moving to a new location and totally changing my environment and drinking patterns. My numbers ended up spiking with a little bit of a binge, albeit still not to the level of a pre-TSM binge. I didn't keep perfectly accurate records of my number of drinks consumed for those couple of weeks, but I was able to make decent estimates. So to fill in the gap between weeks 17 and 21 my results were roughly the following:
Week 18 - 19 drinks
Week 19 - 65 drinks
Week 20 - 85 drinks
The heaviest drinking occurred for about 4 days that split weeks 19 and 20, as you can see. Thankfully I got back on track after that and during week 21 my pattern and numbers were similar to the way I was drinking during the first couple of months of TSM. The good news is that because I was able to drop my numbers to the safe, moderate level before with a little bit of effort and willpower, I am confident I will be able to again. And this time when I make it to the desired goal I will be much more cautious and aware that alcohol is still a dangerous foe and I have to remain vigilant in my efforts to moderate or quit. TSM has definitely worked for me, but I now know that it does actually require the desire of the user to drink safely. I feel good about where I am at the moment though, and I look forward to a week of much lighter drinking coming up!

Whoa! Sobering revelation!

je3625 - this is more complex than most of us thought at first, isn't it? Good for you for getting back to the tracking; I don't like to do it either but it really helps to see reality. I know you will get to where you want to be. XOXO Newlife

I could not do without the tracking ....... it makes me so aware and holds me accountable ! Hang in there je .....

Hugs, Maggie x

Tracking is absolutely essential for this to work.

Maggie coerced me into tracking and it has made a huge difference for me. This was good for me to read. Thank you for sharing.

Je,

I was thinking about you this weekend and I am glad that you posted your progress. I am glad to see that you are tracking and sounding more upbeat, which I believe helps with the TSM progress. It sounds like you are going to have a great week.

Jaba

Thanks for the supportive comments, everyone. This is most definitely a slow, complex process even if the golden rule itself is simple. I got off to a great start last night by only having 1.5 drinks. It was similar to what I experienced before when things started to fall into place. After 3 consecutive days AF and with the mindset of trying to moderate, I just didn't get much enjoyment at all out of those 1.5 drinks and was ready to quit before finishing the second one. I think the consecutive AF days make a big difference with noticing the effect of the Nal and with breaking the habit of drinking heavily every night.

Oh I so want that for myself je3625. But how do you manage the 3 days AF in the first place without making yourself miserable and obsessing over AL. It is so hard for me!! Newlife

newlife, I can see what you mean about the difficulty of getting the AF days in the first place. I'm sure that's especially difficult for people whose pre-TSM pattern was regular daily drinking. Personally I am most susceptible to drinking heavily when I am alone by myself, so this past weekend, for instance, I took a trip to visit my girlfriend which was perfect because I was occupied in the evenings and didn't even consider drinking, and so it wasn't a struggle to get the AF days. This is something that will be different for everyone, but maybe changing up your routine in such a way as to occupy yourself with evening activities that don't involve alcohol would be a helpful way to not struggle to an AF day.