"stories give us" subject - transitive verb - indirect object. Wait a minute, I'm a musician by trade. What the heck do I know

Great to hear, Crown

Yet another TSM victory in my life...my line of thinking has WAY changed for the better. I was hanging out with my girlfriend..lol the same fiance who dumped me last year over my drinking, we have been back together for 4 months now and all is good. Anyways our neighbors invited us over last night to have a few. They are very cool bout the same age, they had some friends over...you know the drill they were partying and having fun. So over we go about 8. My girl really doesnt drink but she has a glass of wine, they offer me a beer I'm like no thanks I'm good. Well my girl is like take your pill you can have one or two...I'm like no i'm fine. Then she thinks maybe I'm not having one because they are not drinking my brand of beer. So she says hey there are like 3 or yours in the fridge go get one. I leave and come back with a coke zero..lol my new "brand".

Part of getting my life backtogether was getting my job rolling again...I'm self employed. I have a goal for a venture I started recently and all is going great. I put the ideas in play, got the plan done, got the financing in place, and slowly but surely I am making it happen. When I went back to the fridge without hesitation I got the coke zero. I was thinking NO WAY am I going to throw down tonight for a few..NO WAY. I have WAY to much going on tommrrow. Funny in the past I would have been like F**K it...I have worked with a hangover before. This line of thinking is soo gone from me now. Don't get me wrong I love a party and a drink ALOT and drunks don't anoy me...lol I see it as fun..BUT I was no way in hell gonna let alcohol interfer with what I have going on with work.

This thinking change ALL owed to TSM...what I beleive part of the "cure"..powerful stuff. I left and went home around ten and my girl stayed till like midnight..I got up at 6am bright eyed and bushytailed...I teased her and woke her up she was pissed 3 glasses of wine and she had a hangover. Later she was like I am still in shock you didn't have a couple of beers..I said " baby I don't have to have booze to have a good time"..she was like do you have a fever? Then went on to tell me how proud she is of me etc and so happy with the 180 change since we have been back together.

Wow! This is the kind of real life stuff that really inspires. Isn't it amazing when you are faced with a situation that definitely would have been a drunk fest in days gone by, but now you simply have the power tio say no and know you mean it? Man that's a good feeling. Realizing that you have become powerless over alcohol is one thing, but when you realize that you have become powerful over alcohol? forgetaboutit.

Awesome

Wow Crown, for those of us relatively new to TSM (1 month here) this is awe-inspiring. I've read many of your old posts so I know what a wild man you were. Your new life sounds just great. I'm very happy for you and look forward to joining you.

lovin it

I am almost 11 months in now and everything is going great..still cured. I don't post that much anymore because I don't really have anymore issues with alcohol and don't much think about it. Lately I have been trying to make an effort to post. I have read a lot about it doesn't work...and for those It doesn't I truly feel bad for..my heart goes out to you folks. The reason being you folks ATTEMPTED to do something about your drinking to no avail. To ATTEMPT to do something is HIGHLY comendable and a start of getting the beast known as alcohol out of your life. Also I think being a part of this forum and some of the other ones like MWO the mention and talk of other methods like BAC gives a person other avenues to try.

I don't have to much to report..status quo..TSM has been a miracle for me and a few others.

Crown86,

Thank you so much for sharing your update. I'm only two weeks in but hearing about the successes gives me confidence to keep pushing forward. Your story was a great example of how TSM works. BTDT

Nice! Thanks for coming back and letting us know you're still cured crown! it means a lot!

My hero

Well Had an interesting christmas...lol get to that in minute, Other than that not too much has changed. I actually went to my sister's for xmas and completely forgot my pills. Inside I was saying to myself NBFD..Hell I bareley drink if at all anymore so should ne no issues...LOL WRONG. Man once a drunk always a drunk I guess at least for me. Christmas I had a buddy spend the holiday with us because he had nowhere to go. Typical type tale of the "I had everything now I lost it in this economy" We were always very good friends and man of Man could we put it away. We started christmas eve, I was drinking beer..they were going down like water and so was the bullshit and festive holiday spirits. Some of you remember I had a MAJOR love affair with whiskey or really any hard liquour and absolutely hated beer.

Anyways the beer buzz hit after like 4 or so..LOL I used to be able to nail a 30 pack and be like "what do you mean we are out of beer?" So with a NICE beer buzz cooking my buddy who is exactly like I WAS started saying F that beer man have a shot. We started with a full half Gallon of Absolute. I said what the hell it's xmas so ABSOLUTELY I will have one. In the back of my mind - yep I could still think - I was saying to myself Naltexone got me to the point of hating and puking on shots and whiskey on the rocks so why not..lets see if it still holds true. Other thing I thought was my tolerance can be no where close to where it was..LOL WRONG..we started...After the 3rd shot I was in a total blackout. I saw the bottle the next morning and was like "ut oh I was a bad boy". So I wait for the fiance to get up to see how bad I was. She seems very happy all day so I don't mention it she doesn't either so I am like I couldn't have been that bad..long story short I was a loveable laughable funny drunk..so unlike me. This the same fiance that left me over booze so I was worried.

That was xmas Eve..well christmas day we start about 2pm with a new bottle. Now the flood gates are wide open shot shot shot and a beer for decoration..I somwhere remember yaking outside and saying to myself, comes with the territory, and went back in and had more shots. TOTAL black-out...I drank into oblivion..lol well if your gonna do it mine as well do it right..anyways next morning I have no clue where the hell I am..I am on my sister's couch. Appreanhtly I refused to leave and wanted to keep drinking...they finally hid the bottle on me and I passed out around 3 am. I get off the couch and ran outside...no fiance..oh boy I'm in trouble. Long story short we made up no problem..well hair of a problem I guess but it has sinced passed.

I cant blame her. She lived hell with me. So to me in that state scared the hell out of her. But all in all she was cool. Her biggest fear was I would just not stop. NOW I suppose the good part. Did I truly have a desire to keep drinking after the xmas drunapade? Well HELL yes. Quite honestly I had a great time, nobody got hurt etc...good drunk logic. BUT I KNEW I COULDNT or I would be right back to where I was in a short period of time being a pathtic pile of crap like I was in Nov 09 when I found this treatment. I do NOT WANT TO GO BACK THERE. It was the darkest period of my life. Christ Nick Cage from Leaving Las Vegas was my only hero left. But like I said and I'm not going to lie, it was fun to be all torn up again, however since TSM I am smart enough to know the "FUN" time wont last and it will get very lonely and very dark quick.

Now the positive - Since xmas I completely walked away with NO PROBLEM..it bothered me for like maybe five days after...but not to the point of take a pill and have a few...and trust me I am the kinda guy if wanna drink Jesus won't stop me. My attitude right wrong or in different is until some one else pays my freight in this world I will do what I want how I want end of disscusion and my fiance know's it. Just like it is her choice not to live with a drunk and simply leave. Since taking TSM last year being cured for about a year, I FULLY beleive that was the change in me and why I didn't continue down the same old path. I truly beleive my brain chemistry was re-wired. Like I said if wanted to drink I would have, plain and simple, but deep down I know for myself what the outcome will be and I simply don't want that. That is what I find to be the one of the best things TSM gave to me THE POWER OF CHOICE.

Prior to TSM, I had ZERO choice. Some can argue I did and I agree the bottle didn't pour itself down my throat, but I was in such a rut I simply didn't care. The bottle drew it's line in the sand and took hold of me. Thats just about completely gone as gone is ever going to be. I am fully ok with this. The thing I have realized is this at least for myself, I will always be a drunk deep down. The demon will always be there just waiting to be awoken. I am not afraid of that like the AA boogeyman bullshit. It is what it is. Like I said I really wanted to party, especially new years eve, but I said to myself nope it's wrong. I could have popped my pills and had a few But I choose not to. I have had one time in January with 2 beers and Naltrexone and it went like it always did. I take it so rarley now the side effects and the power of Nal is very strong and it's like I feel whats the point...but the point is I felt like drinking and if I don't take it..hell on eart will return no if ands or buts for me.

Now do I feel guilty about xmas? Honestly not one ioata. Reason being no one got hurt, I was loveable laughing blacked out annoying drunk and honestly I had fun. To me, I always said I was going to go wherever the pill took me plain and simple. Hate to say this but it is true - death from alcoholism was an option AA was not. I simply hate that program and find zero value in it. Did I relapse...LOL...NOT...to me there is no such thing as a relapse because abstinence is nice but I guess it's not my ultimate goal nor is it my holy grail in my life...I simply could care less about abstinence and all the AA bullshit. Lessoned learned for me, NEVER EVER forget my pills and I now have a plan in place for just that. I guess I kinda of see it as well banged up smashed down drunk ONLY one time in over a year..A miracle,hell over a year ago it was a DAILY occurence, and I still maintain this works and I still maintain I'm cured for what I beleive it to be. I think back to when I came here in late 09 and if I was only getting drunk once a year or a hair more than a year...I would never have came here because whats the problem with that? I beleive TSM gave me the power of choice and to think rationally about booze. I had zero to drink on new years it didnt bug me one bit...the five days imeeadiatly following my drunkapade did bug me but not to the level it did in the past...it was kinda like "damn that was fun..damn I miss having good times like that" but it's simply not woth it for me cause I know where the fun leads and that place is not so fun. So i guess what I'm saying choosing not to drink after that was no where near white knuckling it...if it was I simply would have taken Nal and drank plain and simple.

Booze has played a zero to nothing role in my life for a hair over a year now and honestly I like that better than the drunk times. No hangover can actually work to full capacity get along with friends and fiance and damn the world is not so dark and doomed filled and I feel WAY healthier than I ever have. Yep so that was my xmas F-UP..lol hey Im not perfect...the last perfect man the hung on a cross. I havent posted in quite a while because booze has been non existent in my life so whats the point. I figured this was woth sharing, maybe it will help someone somewhere...who know's. Gonna read a bit to see how some old cyber friends are doing. Hope you all are doing well.

Nick I saw some posts from you...hope your doing well.