Hey Guys. Have gotten to the busy part of the end of summer so haven't been on much.

Just finished week 18 and it was a doozy. It was the first of two long holiday weekends at the beach so I expected it to be high. Have another one coming up. I'm not worrying about it. Will look to after Labor Day when I hit week 20 to hopefully try to moderate more. I did have a couple of really good weeks in mid August.

I am definitely finding lots of moments when I'm not sure why I'm having this drink. When it just doesn't taste right. I also found myself often over last weekend going back to a drink that was watered down and threw it out. So maybe that 57 number is actually high.

I haven't felt that magic moment yet but have the definite feeling that TSM is working and that Sept. to Oct. will be the time for me.

I'm wanting to try an AF day soon but the thought makes me anxious. Perhaps that anxiety will lessen soon.

Everyone have a great holiday weekend.

(I've always felt that September is a better time for change and new leaves than New Year's. Looking forward to it this year.)

Yes - I'm actually looking forward to the end of summer with all the crazy partying. One more holiday weekend to go... Let's drink to those changing leaves, and the positive changes with drinking that's just around the corner!

Hey Clay --

Those subtle hints tell me that TSM is working for you. Stay patient and keep us posted. Best of luck to you.

Nick

Just finished week 22 which is the five month mark. Considering that I was out at the beach for a short weekend, 41's not bad.

But I had another scary drinking night during week 21. Don't remember the last couple of hours of that. That's the first blackout since mid April, before I started TSM. Was hoping not to have any more of those. It does make me realize that I can't let my guard down. When I do in certain situations, I'm past the point of no return before I know it. I think maybe I happened onto another of my triggers.

The encouraging part is that I feel like I'm definitely in a transitional period. Monday night, after I had one drink and was starting to pour the 2nd, I realized that I was doing it out of habit. That I really didn't want it. And I switched to just soda. I think I'm at a point that if I'd start recognizing when I'm drinking out of habit and not craving, my numbers would be lower.

Also, after drinking heavily on Friday and Saturday, on Sunday the alcohol didn't taste good. I tried to switch to another drink but it just wasn't satisfying me.

I see my doctor tomorrow. I should have gone early last month but wanted to be further along before seeing him again. At least I do have some encouraging signs to report.

I had an odd realization last night. My drink of choice is good vodka and club soda. I went to an early party where the only alcohol they were serving was white wine. I hate that. I always feel like I have to get at least 3 down before I feel anything and it's so acidic. So I had 4....maybe 5...it's hard to count when they're refilling your glass before it's empty. So when I got home, I still had to have my 2 vodka/sodas. Because the wine doesn't do anything for the craving I have for that first drink. I find that when I can't control the type and access to alcohol, I end up drinking more to compensate.

Hi Clay, I think WTE is talking about me with the taste thing. I've been drinking the same red wine for a long time and it really tastes bad. Who knows maybe it always tasted bad and I really didn't take time to realize it, but i sure do now. Maybe if i keep drinking it i'll be cured faster because i can stop drinking this awful tasting wine.

I'm feeling like I'm on the cusp of the change but also feeling it might be days or weeks away.

First, excuse me for just dropping in and posting now and then. I do sign on and read once or twice a week, but I find I just can't stay focused on this all the time. It works better for me to not really think about it too much

I just finished my 28th week...so that's 6 1/2 months...and I am feeling pretty good about everything, if not just a little impatient. My average drink intake before I started TSM was 50 to 60/week. The average of each 4 week period since has been 45, 45, 49, 42, 47 and 41. And for the last 3 weeks my average was 36. That's 30 to 40 % improvement over my pre-TSM count and at least a 20% improvement over my early TSM counts.

What surprises me is that the pre-TSM Clay would have been thrilled with the numbers for the last 3 weeks. That's all I really wanted to achieve at the time. But after going through this process, following your progress on this forum, and particularly, reading the experiences of those on the cured list, I'm actually feeling a little dissatisfied and impatient. My recent numbers have been down but I'm, by no means, cured.

I also notice an odd inversion of my old drinking habits and cravings. I drink every day. Have for at least 10 years or so. Before I started TSM I had gotten to the point where I could limit myself to 2 or 3 drinks most nights...with some effort, I have to add. But on the weekends and holidays, I drank straight through. Now I tend to drink 3 or 4 on weeknights. I greatly enjoy the taste of each of those drinks and really have to draw the line after 4, although I can usually do that without much trouble. It's on the weekend when I actually feel the effects of the NAL. After I have a drink or two on Sat. morning, I feel the desire to lay off for a few hours. The vodka stops tasting as good. I've been switching to frozen mango margaritas in the afternoon because the vodka just doesn't taste good at that point. And because it's the weekend and I actually want to feel a little tipsy, I find I have to work at it. The NAL is definitely working then. Same thing on Sundays, so I usually don't have a problem tapering off and stopping late afternoon/early evening. I haven't had a Monday morning hangover in weeks.

I've also gotten through one out-of-town long weekend trip and one holiday weekend in complete moderation. That's pretty amazing. Those situations have disaster written all over them...at least they used to.

But 35 drinks/week is still way too much from a health standpoint. And after becoming familiar with all your various experiences and progress (or lack thereof), I really want to sever the relationship I have with alcohol and deal with drinking as a non-alcoholic would.

I guess all in good time. As everyone has realized, it is not a 3 month process, and for most, it is not a 6 month process. But I do feel it is working.

I see the long Thanksgiving holiday weekend coming up. I'm bracing for a high drink count. I have relatives in town and am cooking a big TG dinner. 4 1/2 days I can drink straight through. If I can get through that without going to the bad place, I'll be very relieved.

Hey Clay --

You and I are on similar paths. I'm at five and a half months; you're at six; I was also having around 50-60 when I started. Like you, I have had a substantial reduction in craving and consumption since starting TSM. And quite significantly, I've had almost no blackouts or stupid behavior while drinking on naltrexone. This IS A MIRACLE but because of the book, I'm disappointed and impatient that I wasn't "cured" two months ago. You and I are EXHIBITS A AND B why expectations mean so much and can set people up for failure. This method works, but the time frames in the book are crap.

Everyone, be patient. It will work for the vast majority of us, but it's going to take a lot longer and take a lot more patience than we all thought.

Hey Clay,

I've read all of your threads and appreciate your struggle.

I think with the holiday coming up, we should all envision a TG holiday as a semi normal drinker. Does that mean we succeed? Maybe, maybe not..but if we go with high drink expectations, we might just meet them ( I know I would).. my point is,...we're not used to having control, so psychologically we just give in. Let everyone else give in,..the alkies and non alkies alike.

The one thing I used to love about sobriety was at the end of the night, being in control and sober, waking up the next day and feeling like a million bucks. Cooking breakfast for your SO hangover free. How bout that for a goal....low number expectations...I say this for myself as much as I say it for you...Take care my friend, Jim

Hi Nick,



I really admire you for speaking your mind. I'm now going to add your words above to my list of favourite TSM quotes!

All the very best.

V.

I had a very exciting experience this morning. Not sure I want to call it a breakthrough...might jinx it. But....for as long as I can remember, on Saturdays and Sundays when I'm just at home, I get up have a few cups of coffee and then go right to cocktails. Usually I'm pleasantly tipsy by noon.

Well, this morning, after I had my coffee, I didn't want a cocktail. I don't mean I fought a craving or kept myself from having one. I mean I really and truly did not want one. It left me a bit at loose ends. I didn't know what to do. It was part of my routine, and I didn't want it. So I poured myself a soda and juice (my drink without the vodka) and got a few things done around the house.

I actually waited until almost 1 p.m. before I had a drink....and I had taken my NAL at 9:45.

I'm hoping this is the beginning of something good...at 7 1/2 months. It's 5:30 now and I've only had 4 drinks...not 8. And part of that I think is because I feel it's a weekend and I'm supposed to.

I had been worried about the Thanksgiving weekend. 4 day weekends are a big, red, flashing danger sign for me. Bad things have happened. But it was okay. I got a bit smashed on TG day. But was quite moderate the rest of the weekend.