After 4 or 5 months I too was pretty much stuck at 2 to 4 drinks every day. What got me to finally take the AF plunge was to wonder what life would feel like getting off the NAL after all those months and having my normal endorphins back. I was feeling that life was a lot better without all the booze, but also that it wasn't as much fun at the same time, and some posters suggested it might be the NAL. It was scary, but I did it, and then went for quite a few months, which I really enjoyed. Now I never have more than 2 drinks, and always take 12.5mg of NAL before hand. It's scary, I know! But you'll laugh about it, once you get through it.

I don't like to force AF days early on (let the NAL work), -but after 5 months you need to start thinking about it.

Hey Newlife,

Yes, it did seem out of reach but guess what happened today? For the very first time I stopped at 1 drink. I didn't even really think about it...it just happened! I don't expect it to be consistent, by any stretch, but it is my first time and I am excited! Maybe you are only a day or two away too..... funny how that works because when I wrote that last post it seemed so far away!

Thank goodness we have each other during this time - how would we do it if we didn't have each other to talk about what we are going through and get feedback from those who have gone before us? I'm so thankful for everyone here, helping me along the way.




Jephiner

Clarion - good point, thank you. It totally makes sense to me - I even said to my husband the other day that I sometimes find I am drinking because I am 'bored' and life just seems rather tedious. That could easily be the Nal now that I think about it. I think I may take your advice - but maybe be a bit strategic about my non-Nal days and build exercise and other positive things into those days so that I can encourage some good healthy habits at the same time. Why not, right?

Good for you, Jephiner, for stopping at one drink. I am sort of mad at myself today, I had said that I was going to have an AF day yesterday so that I could see what 2 in a row felt like. But by the end of the day I popped the nal, waited the hour, and drank 1/2 bottle of wine. I poured the first glass and told myself I would stop, but I didn't. Don't exactly know what that was all about.

But the good news is, I am following the Golden Rule. And, like you, I am thinking about reaching out for more and more AF time......

Yes, it would be nearly impossible for me to do this all alone. And since no one in my life here in FL knows about my doing TSM, the support of you guys on this forum is a lifeline. Thank you.

XOXO Newlife

Jephina - I too am still stuck at the 4 drinks a day thing - well, not always but most days if I drink I have four ! I think that I too am going to have to force it now as I am 5 months in - (gosh where does the time go?). That is great that you just had the one drink .... and newlife, sorry that you didn't end up having the 2 days AF - it feels pretty good when I do that - I need to do it again!! Have not had one this week yet!!

Hugs, Maggie x

Hey Newlife and Maggie,

We seem to be around the same place a lot of the time. It is nice to have others who I can relate to.

It was a really good week for the most part. Followed by an epic fail last night. I had one night with 1 drink, then an easy AF night, then 2 drinks (and not liking the second one at all) then an easy AF night. And then we came out to the cabin, where we spend most of our weekends. As my husband pointed out on our way here " It will be interesting to see how it goes at the cabin, as it seems to be a trigger." He is right. It means summer, lack of responsibility, fun, leisure....all the things I am not really good at without drinking. So we got out here around noon and I was drinking by one. We went to an old fashioned 'drive in' around 8:00 (my husband drove, of course) and I can barely remember anything about getting there or being there. I think I had between 8-9 drinks (6 beer and 2 bloody marys) yesterday. I like to fail big. .

I don't feel too bad today - more emotionally crappy than physically. I have had way worse days in all areas though. It is just that I am a bit sick of it and a bit worried that there will be times like this in the future, even when cured. I realize it is normal, to some degree, for people to have the odd 'rough' night when they aren't alcoholics....but I don't want to have those in the future. I don't want to have them at all......

I am considering moving towards having some fast rules around intake - but am not sure if that is a good idea or not. I think I am going to go check out some other people's stories - their progress stories, and see how things played out for them and how they went forward. I am interested in seeing if many people chose to become AF to avoid any potential problems, or if they just completely lost interest.

I know this is likely an extinction burst - especially since I had such an unbelievably great few days before it. I can also see that there is a psychological component to some degree - not just my reptile brain but my stubborn ego. I can see that I am very concerned that I will not be able to relax and have fun and be social without alcohol - even if I am just messy with it.....it is still concern, however unreasonable or illogical. I have such a hard time relaxing and just 'being' instead of 'doing' and alcohol did help with that, to some degree, despite it's negative side effects. I guess it is a good thing to focus on, how to relax, have fun and keep myself lighthearted.....no easy task but worth some pondering.....

Thank you all for being here and for those who have chronicled their story so that I can go check out other's experiences and not feel so alone.

Jephiner

you can stop beating yourself up now, Jephiner. look at the days before your "fail"! look at what you got out of your "cabin party" and move on. setting some rules about intake are OK IMO, as then you have a goal to work toward. I try to do it myself and it feels great when I stick to it. here's to another good run next week! zontar

I agree with Zontar Jephiner - no point in beating yourself up - the past is over and done with - I am going to try and not take my Nal until later in the day - someone else on this forum said they had started doing that which helped as it meant they started drinking later. So yes, having some rules is good and that way we are actually taking an active part on trying to stop rather than expecting the Nal to do it for us - which is NOT going to happen !!

Hang in there, Hugs, Maggie x

Well, two weeks have past since my last post. I had another epic fail a couple days after that last post. I went out to one of the girls' places and drank 5-6 glasses of wine. I was loud and said things I wish I hadn't... it was super embarrassing. And all the time I had gone there and had told myself I would have a 2 drink limit. Yep...not so much.

So, as crappy as that was. And it was... I have had some amazing days since. Over the last 2 weeks or so I have had one night that was a bit excessive - 4 drinks over 3 hours or so and I felt sick and hated it (not too sick the next day, just wrecked that evening). For the rest I may have had one where I had 3 drinks and the rest of the days were either AF or I had 1 or 2. I have poured out part of my first beer twice this last week and once I poured out part of my second beer. It feels amazing. I am not getting that 'I'm bored, maybe I'll drink" thought either - I think that may actually be a type of craving now that I look back at it. The time of day is a bit of a trigger still - so I often take a pill to make sure I have it in me and then 90% of the time I don't really want one by the time the hour is up but have one anyway because I don't want to undermine the effect or waste blocking my endorphins without it being for the alcohol. So I drink one or a part of one - and I feel like I have 'accomplished' another step towards extinction.

I'm not ready to call cured yet - too many bad nights recently - but there has definitely been another shift. I can't believe this is working. It truly boggles my mind that I may actually be safe and healthy again very, very soon.

On a non alcohol note - I am sleeping so amazingly well and have started to be more physically active - doing yoga in the morning and paying a lot of attention to hydrating my body, making sure I am taking my supplements and eating well. I feel really great and it is definitely a deterrent to drinking. I don't want to feel crappy or bloated because I am feeling so good.

What a difference a couple weeks can make!

Jephiner

Jephiner - I am so happy to read your post - it sounds really good - things are definitely looking up for you ! Good going,

Hugs, Maggie x