Week two done! My numbers went up slightly. My hangovers are getting worse, which is fine by me. If bad hangovers come with TSM, I'll bear them with a smile. I felt absolutely horrible, though. Tough day.

Day before yesterday, I drank 16 units, which is more than I would have pre TSM. From everyone else's spikes, I know this happens. So, I am not concerned. Yesterday, I drank four units. I feel much better than I did yesterday.

I keep thinking about what it's going to feel like when this isn't an issue anymore.

It feels great!! I wish it for you and everyone here. The end of the compulsion to drink is a TSM miracle that comes slowly and continues resulting in a personal indifference to alcohol. "Would you like a drink?" "No. Not necessarily!, thanks". Rather than: "I'm dying for a drink, but I can't have one because if I do my life will be crap within months." Nal-on!

Hey Heavy Fuel,

Thanks for commenting on my thread. We can be supporters of each other. I am a professional with lots of responsibilities, and somehow I have managed to survive many mornings after brutal nights of 15-20 unit drinks.

You have a good attitude. I am in my 26th week and I am not quite fixed, but I am getting there.

All the best to you.

I'm with Tak Kat - not wanting to show up to work or another obligation nauseous and hungover is pretty much 50% of the reason why I started TSM!~!! (The other 50% being the guilt, shame, regret, and panic attacks I suffer after a binge).
You've got a great attitude, HF, and I hope the best for you!!

Thanks for the good wishes everyone! Jdog - I'll be glad to cheer for you all the way to the finish line! You are much closer than I am to it: I am so happy for you!

I have hope. Something I didn't have a couple of months ago. I thought the way I was was it. I expected to remain that way until either something clicked and I had my "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired" moment" or I died. That I would continually drink to excess and live in a haze. That my life would be full of missed opportunities, apologies, ruined relationships and the rest of the baggage that comes with this. The failures, anger and all the regret. The sheer insecurity of hiding. I have hope again! Soon, this will be just a lost time in my life. I can truly say I am thankful for this opportunity and THIS group.

Not to say I expect my journey will be through the Big Rock Candy Mountains, but where I am going is heckuva lot easier than where I have been!

"Not to say I expect my journey will be through the Big Rock Candy Mountains, but where I am going is heckuva lot easier than where I have been!"
THIS, exactly this. I think all you need to do is realize this, and TSM will work. At a certain point, drinking the way we do is just exhausting. TSM offers us another way.

I haven’t posted much on my progress. I had a setback I am working through. Nothing to do with my drinking, but everything to do with entrenched lack of thought on how to treat addictions.

As I mentioned previously, I had seen a doctor here and gotten a prescription for naltrexone. I took the Combine study with me and explained I wished to follow that protocol. The doctor took the study and prescribed me 30 days of naltrexone. He then went on about some substance abuse counselor, which should have been a warning to me.

On my return, being a good TSM’er I had my drinking diary and notes. I showed this to the physician and he started railing on and on with the following:

“This is not the standard of care. You are using this as excuse to drink. Numbers are up.” The learned doctor also stated the Combine study was “just someone writing things: it means nothing.” He then said, “I asked others, they haven’t ever heard of this.” He then said the magic words that told me where he was: “we do sobriety here.” He then wanted to prescribe me three different drugs I am not interested in trying at this time. Or injecting me with vivitrol. Oh, yeah, he had an epiphany and called me an alcoholic. Which obviously was supposed to be a newsflash to me…. Anyway, then he claimed I drink because I am emotionally immature. He then said he wasn’t comfortable treating me with this protocol. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with his methods, either.

So, I argued right back. He had the nurse leave the room and we went at each other pretty hard. I didn’t back off. And he gave me my 30 day supply. I explained to him, that number one, from my research I was quite happy with the results gained by those in the Combined study. The results from the combine study showed approximately 16% of study participants adopted abstinence as their means of treatment and asked him that if he described abstinence as the only desirable outcome, what was his success rate with those drugs. He didn’t answer. I also pointed out, naltrexone has nowhere near the side effects as his chemical concoction.

Anyway, I explained to him something he didn’t ask me when we first began this process: I have close relatives who died from cirrhosis and others who had the disease when they died of other causes. I further explained why this happened. He then told me naltexone only works on one type of receptor and I am going to build another receptor. No research I have read shows that. And he couldn't show me one.

Anyway, when he pulled out the “sobriety” card, he and I had an intellectual parting of the ways. That was further exacerbated by his statement the Combine study was “just someone writing things,” meaning being published in the Journal of the American Medical Association has no value. He did not present a single rational argument against TSM. Nor did he offer statistics with harm reduction and abstinence outcomes at a higher rate than TSM. We ended the conversation with him saying I need counseling for my “emotional immaturity” that comes with “alcoholism.” I pointed out I have a corrupted rewards system and will work on that: nothing else is negotiable. I have enough problems without some 12 stepping lunatic attempting to manipulate me.

The net effect of this is I am on the hunt for another doctor. This time, for my own convenience I am going to simply say the naltrexone works wonders and not mention drinking. I just won’t mention the particulars of TSM. I am simply shocked to learn just how entrenched the rantings of Bill W are, even a published study in JAMA cannot override him. Science be damned, a bunch of religious nuts in “the Rooms” know more than anyone else. And it isn’t enough to quit drinking without being “sober,” in their definition of the word. It isn’t enough for some that we regain control of our lives, we have to subscribe to their belief system. Then, and only then, does it seem the Friends of Bill are happy.

It’s just sad.

It's an outrage!! I have gone through two doctors looking for one who would support me with TSM. Physicians in principle don't listen top their patients when it comes to treatment. The ethos of AA is so entrenched in the substance abuse treatment, they cannot countenance another possible method. Even when I have touted my miraculous recovery, it has carried no weight. I still need to get my prescription from India. We should sound the bell and ring-in a new paradigm. I have pressed my docs hard and have only garnered the same respect that an astrologer gets from an astronomer or an alchemist gets from a chemist. Now if only someone would write a scientific book or start a community web site or something, maybe things would take a turn for the better.

Keep pressing: NalOn

What an awful encounter! So sorry you had to go through that. Sadly, you're right to go to the strategy that avoids talking about TSM. It's plenty enough to work on turning around your own life without reeducating the medical profession at the same time.

Steady on!

So sorry you had to go through that. I think your new strategy is the best. With my current doctor, I only share the successes I've had while on nal (keeping the minor setbacks and extinction bursts to myself) and just tell her that I take it every day (even though I only take it when drinking. She seems happy to keep prescribing nal as my units keep going down and I just call to check in every couple of months.