Good luck at the party EL. You're still very early in and everyone has doubts at this point. You just have to prepare yourself mentally for the spikes as best you can and practice your harm reduction methods.

I don't know if you mentioned this somewhere else before, but does your boyfriend know you're doing TSM?

Fingers crossed for Friday night. I can't offer advice, but we're all rooting for you.

Andy.

PS. is cider an option? I've got a friend with ceiliac and he sticks to Pints of Cider to cope.

PPS. Ping pong. I don't know anyone that plays ping pong

Thanks guys! And yes cider should be an option, but it's actually not as easy to find here as in the UK, I think. And yes my boyfriend (who is from England, incidentally!) is on board with TSM. He's on board with whatever will make me happier I think Basically, my drinking hasn't really had negative consequences FOR him, he says, other than the fact that after a binge I will be massively depressed and self loathing and that he has to witness that. Basically, my drinking isn't threatening the relationship...YET. which is why I'm doing TSM almost preemptively, it might seem to some. However, I haven't really told many other people (aside from my doctor/therapists). I don't think my friends need to know, esp since most of my friends have only ever seen the fun-loving, heavy drinking side - not the roller coaster of self-loathing and depression that ensues. I've only told one other friend, who is in AA, because I've been trying to sway her our way. To be honest, I don't even think she's an alcoholic. I think she just had a really bad patch with depression and was self-medicating. But you know, whatever works for her.
EL

Tonight is the big birthday party of a particularly boozy friend as I mentioned. I'm especially anxious about it as another friend of mine is coming into town for the party and arriving at my house 2-3 hours BEFORE the party, and will want to start drinking then (which I would not do by myself). I'm hoping to keep it to one drink before the party and 4 drinks at the party. I'm only at 9.5 units so far this week, but I'd really like to keep the whole week under 15.
Wish me luck,
EL

Survived the party. Pretty well, in terms of units, but I feel like crap. Here's why: first of all, I have a sore throat which for the past few days, which is just really pissing me off because my defense is coming up on wednesday and I really don't want to be hoarse for it. So I'm physically uncomfortable and stressed about it. But then party-wise : I had one drink before going to the party, then four more drinks at the party (roughly...they were small plastic cups, I mostly filled them with ice and poured bourbon over them...and did that 3 times). So I stuck to my limits, and honestly I didn't really want to drink more. Sounds like success, right? Except that I was totally unhappy, felt flat, felt un-fun, lame, boring, tired, etc. It was one of those times where drinking on the nal at all is totally unappealing, because drinking makes me feel like a zombie. This is the hard part for me - I do want to keep my units in check, but I REALLY miss the energy that came along with my drinking. And with nal, I feel like I have even less energy than sober me. So it's a bit disappointing.
Planning to go AF today and tomorrow, so that I can stick to under 15 drinks this week. Again, units feel like less of a problem than missing my old
"fun" drunk self. (I know of course that self had a lot of nasty baggage as well...but when it was fun, it was indeed fun).
I never thought I'd say this...but at this point I'm hoping the nal leaves me not drinking very much at all....I really don't like the way I feel when I drink on it.

You are still early and your body hasn't acclimated to the Naltrexone. It probably will. And when it does your drinking and energy will probably resume to closer to pre-TSM levels. But the point is, Naltrexone definitely has a much larger impact on you initially than it will down the line.

Hi ElectraLou - You are doing great. I can relate to what you say as drinking on Nal does leave you feeling kind of yucky! I don't like drinking on Nal either as it leaves me with a bit more of a hangover than pre Nal. Still, I would rather have that than the past where I would be so drunk that I'd have to go hide from my family so they wouldn't see me like that.

Your progress thus far is nothing short of amazing. Keep on keeping on.

Thanks guys. yeah, I tend to be very sensitive to drugs and nal is no exception, apparently. It just kind of feels like I'm slowly poisoning my body - but I guess that is the alcohol as well, lol!On the plus side, no real hangover today (like I said, I'm a bit under the weather so I don't feel great, but no different from yesterday without booze).

Hi ElectraLou

Your progress is fantastic so far. I know what you mean about feeling flat and un-fun though. I've actually felt like that lately after the days when I've drunk a bottle or more of wine. This is after 21 weeks. I hope it is short lived. I feel optimistic some days and discouraged on others. This is a long slow process but it is likely to work for us in the long run. It's good that your bf is on board and that you are doing this before your drinking does damage to your relationship. I am fortunate to still have my long-suffering husband hanging in there!

All the best
Sticky

EL--I think you're doing great. Part of the "flat" feeling could be the sore throat, or the strain of your upcoming defense. Keep up the good work.