Potato,

Do you find your musical creativity affected by lack of alcohol? It is the only negative I've noticed during AF days. I find that my creativity is significantly inhibited when not drinking. I assume it is because I am an inhibited person by nature, unless alcohol frees my mind of the inhibition. I have always wondered if others have experienced this feeling also.

Bob

No. I find my creativity is a double edged sword. On the one hand it is negatively affected by alcohol but on the other hand it is enlivend by 2 or 3 drinks. It is a horrible edgy place to walk.

Firebird and KrazyKris,

I am of the opinion that binge drinking takes longer to extinguish than steady, daily, drinking. My guess is that there are a number of factors that push us to binge drink.

From personal experience, I can say that the drive to binge drink gets less with time. N101CS made a comment some time ago that the "event horizon" whereby one loses control gets further away the further one progresses with TSM. That is; maybe one could drink 3-4 drinks and be OK for the night and just stop. However, going to that 5th or 6th drink pushes you over the edge and you find yourself drinking 10-12 drinks.

I don't feel I'm out of the woods with respect to this binge style drinking yet, but I've just not gone past that point where I lose control in awhile. Nice thing is, before starting TSM 1 drink would push me over the edge and send me into binge drinking. Now I can consume a few units and not feel any pull to continue to drink

As potato said, just keep taking your Nal and let extinction do its thing. It will come.

I think you make a very interesting point Q. I have wondered for a very long time about the binge drinking vs daily drinking issue. I once heard an addictions doc say that binge drinking was harder to treat. Unfortunately I did not hear the reasons for that. I need to do more research. Hang in there Firebird!

Hi all, week three was a little weird, as in I think my brain is saying WTF is going on here! The week started with a mini binge which was exacerbated by a big bottle of cheap tequila (ouch!). Anyway I think the honeymoon period may be coming to an end for me. I had a couple of AF days near the end of the week, as is standard, as well as the usual rehearsal "night out" except: I didn't go out. Or even drink much after rehearsal. I was just too tired, felt a bit nauseated, and I noticed how drunk I was and just went to bed. This is something I've become aware of lately, even when I was binging.

I've also noticed that Nal make me really grumpy for a little while after I take it (like until I start drinking ) I have a hard time not arguing with the people around me, and my head kind of feels like it's throbbing. My family know I'm doing TSM, so hopefully they forgive me. This is a bit of a bumpy road we're on with this program, and sometimes we take others along for the ride. It's a road to a better place though, and it's a far cry better than the road I was on before.

In a previous post I said that I usually had about 12 drinks in an average night, but now that I've been actually keeping track I've discovered that 12 drinks is a pretty conservative estimate. It's actually more like 14 drinks on a night out, and 12 drinks if I'm sitting at home. Just keeping a record of my drinking has been very helpful in identifying my patterns.

As I head into week 4 I'm very hopeful for the future and extremely grateful for the support of the people on this message board.

Week 4 is (almost) complete, and I'm really starting to feel good about things. The weirdness / sadness seems to have passed, for now, and I'm ready to head into week 5. I think I may have been sick with something last week, just because I felt so rotten a lot of the time. Or maybe it was just a natural part of the process.

In questions for Dr. E netty posted a question about 25mg dosage lasting a full 12 hrs, and I'm really curious about this too. I would love to lower my dosage if it would still do the job, as the 50mg dose still makes me feel a bit queasy.

Anyway I can feel things changing in my brain. I can feel how my relationship to alcohol is changing, especially over the past couple of weeks. Although there have been some definite rough spots, it really feels like a "good pain". I have a lot of confidence that this will work for me-enough that I have begun referring to the future as "after I'm cured".

I have realised also how many of my hopes and dreams I had given up on, because I knew that no matter where I went, no matter who I was with, no matter what I did, I would still be a drunk. Now I know that's not the case, and some of those forgotten dreams are beginning to stir again. I am also starting to come to grips with how many habitual patterns I had developed just to maintain my present lifestyle (and to continue drinking). Now I know that when those habits are no longer necessary or appropriate for these new times, I can cast them off like dirty rags.

I'm not drinking tonight, but I did have 3 sodas, two popsicles, a couple of swedish fish and a whole bunch of jellybeans I hope I'm not trading one addiction for another!

Week 5 beings new hope and something to look forward to - cheers all

Fire

Well, this week I feel like "this sucks". After doing pretty well last week, this week was way up, though I'm not sure why. Hard liquor definitely has something to do with it. Next week I'm not going to keep the stuff around. When I just have wine and beer I get tired before I drink way too much (now on TSM anyway). With the hard stuff I drink fast and get drunk before I get tired.

Anyway, I know it takes time, don't get down on yourself, just take your pill an hour before you drink, etc. - all that's true, but it's not helping that down feeling right now. I woke up hungover, so maybe I'll give myself a break and post later.

Cheers to a better coming week (coffee in hand)!

Hi Firebird,

Don't worry - you're doing fine. It's typical to have some spikes. I share your problem with hard liquor. It gets me into trouble, as I also drink it too quickly. I've found the only safe thing for me to do about it is to limit my supply (1/2 pint should be enough). If more is available, I'm bound to go overboard. Good luck this week.

Thanks KKris,

I meant to post yesterday and not leave things on such a downer note, but I am ready for the coming week. I think I will limit my intake bit just for my own health and sanity. Sometimes TSM and life collide, like when you have family visiting, or some other stressful event. That's what's been going on for me last week, but now things can get back to normal.

With out-of-town work all this week for me, I'll have to be getting up early anyway, so I think I'll tread the straight and narrow for a few.

Best to all

Hi Firebird. I just wondered what kind of musician are you? What instruments do you play? I also want to say I know what you mean about hard liquor as well. Like KKris I struggle with that too. Vodka being one of my nemiseses. I am sticking to wine and beer right now. By the way, my friend said I seemed more drunk than usual after taking the Nal and drinking. I felt really drunk after just a few drinks. Anyone else feel this?