I cannot describe it in words but both my wife and I realize I am cured. I am on vacation the last 9 nines. I have had 9.86 units the first week (week 16) of Sinclair. So far in week 17 I have had 5 units. But here is the amazing part - last night my wife and kids went out without me. In the past that would have been a reason to go to the bar next store and get lit up. The thought crossed my mind briefly ( I guess out of habit), but I realized that I DID NOT WANT to drink. I just wanted to sit at home and read - which is what I did. Some weeks I drank just to speed the cure. To paraphrase Bill Wilson, my life is manageable and I have power over alcohol. I am happy, joyous, and free.

Read the book, take naltrexone, drink, keep a journal, and let medical science work.

Best Regards to all,
Tom


UNITS CRAVINGS DESIRE AF DAYS
PRE- 02/2006 100-200 10 10 0
PRE -TSM 50 - 150 10 10 0

WEEK UNITS Cravings AF DAYS
1 44 5 2
2 40 5 2
3 40 5 3
4 31 5 4
5 20 2 5
6 33 1 2
7 44 1 3
8 45 1 3
9 33 1 4
10 52 1 1
11 33 1 3
12 37 2 3
13 20 2 4
14 17 1 5
15 15 0 4
16 9.84 0 5


My Story:
In August of 1971, a few buddies and I purchased 2 bottles of Boones Farm Apple Wine. I was terrified we would get caught but I went along. After a few drinks, my fear was gone. I loved it as did my friends. For the next 9 years, I drank as much as I could as often as I could, but that was no different from any of my friends. We drank, we smoked reefer, and we had a great time. There was very little trouble but I noticed that 99% of the things I was embarrassed about happenned while I was drinking. I noticed that if I planned to do something , like write a paper for school, I'd better not drink the night before. When I decided to lose some weight and start jogging, I was able to moderate. I was known as someone you like to hang out and drink but it was nothing out of the ordinary. In 1980 all hell broke loose. After hanging with my pals in a bar to 4 AM, I got up at 11 AM and decided to go for a bicycle ride to sweat out my hangover. After riding for 13 miles in 95 degree heat without water, I passed out while still riding. I fractured my skull and had bleeding on the brain. I was rushed to a major trauma center in NYC for emergency surgery. I came thru the ordeal without any visible issues. However, the blow to the head (plus two concussions as a kid) damaged by brain chemistry. I starting have panic attacks, severe depression, wild mood swings, uncharacteristic rage, and the like. I was to afraid to tell anyone about these things so I drank to get thru the day. As you all know eventually too much alcohol causes it own issues. Missing work, killer hangovers, broken relationships, guilt, remorse, risking and promiscious behavior, isolation, and undefined gloom and hopelessness. I thought about suicide every day for years. Thru shear determination, I managed to hang on and act like all was ok. I met a wonderful woman and got married. She had some trepidations about my drinking but figured I'd calm down once we "grew up" and had a family. In 1989, my missing work got so bad that the company I worked for, sent me to Smithers in NYC. I lied to them about everything but I agreed to go to AA. I lasted a few months and went back to drinking. . In 1990 after the birht of my daughter, I again seeked helped. Again, I lied to doctors and therapist about what was really going on - I thought they would lock me up and throw away the key. I told them all I was fine except that I drank too much. The next 7 years were in and out of AA. I managed to stay sober for 5 years once but I was a miserable SOB. The sign at AA meetings says 'You are not alone'. I was alone. I did not fit in. At this time I started to see a Doctor for depression ( I did not reveal the rest). He helped a bit but I was not being truthful. Also my AA group kept telling me I was a garden variety drunk who did not need meds. I just needed to turn it over and hit my knees. That was not going to happen since I am a commited atheist. I started drinking again in 1998. I lost two great jobs, spent time in two physce wards, two detoxes, and 6 weeks in a dual diagnosis hosptial after a lame suicide attempt. I thought of suicide every day for 10 years. After almost losing a third job, my home, my family, my friends, and myself; I went back to AA in 2006. I tried, I really tried. I did a 4th and 5th step. I went to meetings everyday, I got a sponsor, I came early and left late. I got a therapist who my sponsor recomemded. I was not drinking but I hated life. During this time I found a doctor whom I finally confided in and she gave me the proper meds. My brain chemsitry issues are now under control but I still hating not drinking. But I hating drinking alcoholically. I just wanted to drink moderately. I began to search for a differnent path. I found Harm reduction techniques and groups on the Web. I began to follow their methods and began to drink. Sometimes I was ok, a few were not ok. I found TSM on the internet and was instantly thrilled. I found it. Finally science, not vodoo. I have been on Naltrexone for 3 weeks. I have been keeping a journal for 5. I have given my doctor Dr. Eskapa's book. I have told my wife and some family members what I am doing. I have their support. I never got back to my pre 2006 levels of drinking and I know I won't. I still try to follow the Harm reduction methods I learned and I follow the golden rule - Naltrexone + Drinking = Cure. I know it's only been a few weeks but I can feel the change. At first I had to force myself to leave the bar but I would pick up beer on the way home and drink it on the sly. All of a sudden I find it easier to leave the bar and not pick up more beer. Maybe prt of it is knowing that I don't have to binge drink because I may not get another chance for a while and part is the Naltrexone. Whatever it is, I feel very optimsitc that TSM will cure me. I will be able to drink socially and within established limits. Thanks to all.

Tom -- That is amazing news! We've missed you!! Please stop in to update us and encourage others.

I'm very grateful that you shared your news with us.

FANTASTIC!! Thanks for sharing. TSM WORKS, more conclusive proof.

Congratulations! My first thought was that you might be jumping the gun, but then I plotted your numbers and your extinction curve (attached) looks similar to mine except the roller coaster ride at the end of mine and the initial large drop. Your recent extinction decay is a quite smooth downward curve.

It's good to feel free, isn't it?

Bob

Bob,

It feels great to be free. Congratulations to you too.

Thanks to everyone else for the support and good wishes.

IT WORKS !!! NALTREXONE + DRINKING = CURE

CURED wk 17.

Best Regards,
Tom

I am REALLY happy for you & loved your story. Life is good! Wonderful news after all you've been through. Please keep in touch w/ us here.

congratulations Tom - this is more fantastic news

Tom - this is fantastic news! Congratulations and thank you for re-posting your story. Very powerful.

As Lena said - don't be a stranger, we all love to read the continued success stories.

Great stuff Maclanet , congrats on getting a new life !
Hope the trend continues .

That is so f'ing awesome!!!!!!

Well done, and so very motivating. Thanks for sharing with us and being part of the group.