Hi all, well I have not really been able to come here and post because ...
- i was at work and didn't want to be seen or 'overseen' doing this posting
- i was at home, and not suppose to be on my computer
- i was at home and have not told anyone at home that i am doing this


So.... the summary of the first four weeks is coming now: (at the end of a drinking evening, so more details might follow!):
1. week one - nausea, headache, and general disgust with alcohol.... YEAH!
2. week two - continuing nausea, headache, weird taste in my mouth - but less of a disgust with alcohol - is that a yeah or ney ?
3. week three - drinking way more than usual. taking my nal one hour before drinking - and then drinking, drinking, drinking. the pattern is weird for me. it is like I am drinking to a 'limit' but i don't really feel drunk. I just feel like after one drink, then I should have the next, and then the next. I am in no hurry. There is no rush. There is no anxiety around being sure I 'get' my next drink. But yet - I am drinking up to the absolute limit of my tolerance.
4. week four - more drinking to the limit of tolerance. I am taking my NAL one hour before drinking. I don't feel anxious, or worried. Just taking my NAL and drinking, drinking, drinking .... slowly over the course of an evening what turns out to be 15-20 units of wine. WOW.

I am completely bought into the science of this method. But I find myself.... kind of 'outside myself' - observing my behavior. I see that I am drinking more than I did before NAL. I am less drunken than I was before NAL. (ie. I don't seem to obtain that drunken state so easily) I seem to want to pursue getting to the limit more often (I am actually drinking MORE with NAL than I did before)...

Why am I drinking more ? I am not sure if it is because there is no real 'high' - though I never felt truly 'high' with alcohol before, more 'relaxed' and 'released'. Or is it a 'license to drink' - I can identify with having permission to doing something! Let's go girls! Or - is it just that I am a seriously screwed up person.... and this is maybe / maybe not the path for me....

Don't know... I would love your comments. And I will keep on doing NAL - 1 hour before WAY too much alcohol.

(it is scary now that I am converting a 'large' glass of wine into 3.3 units of alcohol. holy cow. that means 3 glasses of wine is more than my limit for a whole week...) !!!! WOW... I have a LONG way to go.!

Hugs
...kay

Hi KayJay -

Some do drink more on Nal than before, your brain is reaching out for it's old friend and is disappointed... so it keep on chasing it. This is where you can step in and use some conscious control. It's good to start building that muscle, because as the "Drink MOAR!" shouting from the old Lizard Brain begins to get weaker, your conscious decision will begin to have more clout. It might be kind of weak to start with, so keep at it. Maybe start interrupting your usual drinking routine, don't take the glass with you, try knocking out a little task or two between sips. Slow it down even more, give the conscious part of your brain a chance to help you decide whether or not you really want that next drink (or even the next sip).

Overall, I'd say you're just about right on track, given the many posts from others that I've read. Nal on!

hey KJ---

keep staying the course. your early "distaste" for AL is a good sign. Nal works differently for different people, but for a lot of people it WORKS. you're really early in and overall I'd say your experience isn't TOO strange. keep taking the Nal and record your drinks. good luck! zontar

Hey all ... so week 5 done. Went on holiday too -and didn't do my usual 'it's holiday so an even BIGGER excuse for drinking'. Not to say I didn't drink - but it was down from week 3 and 4.

I noticed I forgot to put my numbers up before, so I will do that now - as I AM tracking. And I converted all my tracking into UK units using this webpage: https://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/unit-calculator

So, 250 ml glass of red wine is 3.3 units. That makes a bottle of wine, 9.9 or call it 10 units.

Going back over time, I had lots of time when I was not 'doing' alcohol - and I would go week, or two or even a few months without. But it is 'always on my mind' as the old country song goes...

I would guess my pre-TSM usage, when I wasn't actively fighting it - was 1-1.5 liters 3 nights a week and 1 liter 2 nights a week with 2 AF nights.... sometimes.

So what is that ? 66-86 units per week - this is on good weeks.
That is 284 - 370 units per month (multiplying times 4.3 weeks per month)
If I average that out then that is 327 units per month.

HOLY &%¤¤# How on earth have I been functioning ? Which miraculously I have done ?

So what does it look like for my first weeks:
Week 1, 121 units AF: 0
Week 2, 57 units AF: 0
Week 3, 91 units AF: 0
Week 4, 98 units AF: 1
Week 5, 72 units AF: 1 *vacation week*

That is an average of 88 units per week - which is comparable to my 'normal' weeks before TSM.

What is different ? Well, the first weeks of TSM started right before Xmas which is a horrible time for me (but I was also at home so I could deal with side effects). So, lots of drinking going on in week 1. Somehow, week 2 came down a lot - I'm guessing the TSM kicking in. Week 3 and 4, side effects went away and I was pretty much plowing thru the alcohol.

Week 5 - a strange one, because I was on holiday and was sort of trying to 'force' myself to drink my normal 'holiday' amount but I wasn't really getting drunk, or even really tipsy. Just full and tired. So that seems like a good sign and we can hope that keeps up. Also DH - who was doing the normal holiday drinking program - said he was sick of drinking when we got home so we are trying to have some AF days together. That is helping, of course, and he knows nothing about the NAL.

So - plugging along here. Knowing that 5 months or 8 months or whatever will pass - and that hopefully this will just move me along the bar towards being a more conscientious drinker - and one that doesn't do it just to numb out. I can say that the nights where I way over drank - where me ACTIVELY trying to get numb or remove anger. Didn't really work in week 5.... so crossed fingers.

One side effect worth mentioning (besides the making me completely bitchy at some points) - I get this weird, metalish (not bad but noticeable) taste in my mouth about 24 hours after I have taken a NAL. Almost like a reminder that it is time to take it again. Does anyone else get that ?

Anyway - onto week 6. NAL'ng on...

Br
...kay

Hey there, I have been into it since middle of december. I also find that I keep on drinking... and end up drinking about 8 bottles of coopers between 6 and midnight-ish, which 1.3 standard drinks per bottle. I lay off wine completely because it is my favourite... and my drinking speed is on the fast side. but no blackouts, no crazy, no shame and regrets... so there is an improvement... i have no metallic taste, but i feel a bit heavy after inegstion of NAL for about an hour or so... also just as a hint, there is another forum options safe life i think name is and people seem to be a bit more active there. joesixpack is there too. i feel more supported there and have moved myself into this forum mainly. good luck xx

Week 6 - alcohol free day, plus fairly light drinking on 4 days (2ish glasses of wine - 7-8 units). However last night was just strange. I literally could not stop myself. And today is HORRIBLE. So tonight will be AF for sure. Not sure what happened last night as the previous nights I really had to 'force' myself to have the second drink....

Hoping that this looks like moving in the right direction.

Week 6: 66.2 units - 1 AF day

Nadine - thanks for the heads up on the other forum. I had a quick look and need to dedicate some time to doing some more reading! Hope you are also hanging in there

Hey, KJ -

Not to worry, this is fairly common as the old lizard brain fights back. Just stay compliant and see what you can do to limit the number of drinks per day. Experiment and see what works best for you along those lines, but I'd suggest that you don't keep the drink with you. Take a look at your high drinking times/events and don't have your drink at hand when you're doing those things (talking on the phone, etc). Slow the pace down, substitute, delay.

Thanks Joe. Working on the slowing down.... but old habits die hard, especially in a scenario where the outcome has already been played out many times... Going to try setting the drink far away from me and see if that helps

Good deal, KayJay. You might even try taking a sip of the drink and then walking away from it. Very symbolic and validates that you don't have to have it by you at every moment. That's an aspect of mindfulness, validating the conscious opinion about alcohol while Naltrexone is quieting the unconscious urge, bit by bit. As you go along the way, the "Meh" feeling will get stronger and stronger, so give it a fertile environment to grow in.

Good deal, KayJay. You might even try taking a sip of the drink and then walking away from it. Very symbolic and validates that you don't have to have it by you at every moment. That's an aspect of mindfulness, validating the conscious opinion about alcohol while Naltrexone is quieting the unconscious urge, bit by bit. As you go along the way, the "Meh" feeling will get stronger and stronger, so give it a fertile environment to grow in.