Well, I have to say this week has been frustrating to say the least. I had 2-3 beautiful days last week where I really felt normal and very excited about my progress. My desire over those few days was way down and it was very easy to just say no. However, this week it seems I am right back to my old patterns of drinking 6-12 units from 5PM all the way up to bed time. It's enough to piss off the pope. Granted, this is nothing like where I left off 6 months ago ago but, still is dreadfully worse than where I want to be. If you have any experience with these regressive moments as I have described, I would really like to hear about it. Seems there are varying levels of response among the group. Everything from quitting completely after the very first pill to no change whatsoever over a period of years. I really have no desire to be completely AF. I still want to enjoy the pleasures of drink at a normal level and I really got that feeling last week and now it seems it is gone. Tryin' to keep that faith.

judging by your join date, you've been on TSM for 5-6 months? as you say, you're much better than when you started, so clearly it's having an effect - maybe you just need a bit longer?

I feel your pain though - I have a few days of pretty moderate drinking & feel like I'm making some progress, then spike back up again. I'd dearly love to fast-forward 6 months & have done with it, but I know I need to be compliant, patient & keep the faith

trust the science & hang in there

-badger

Can I ask what you feel this week vs last week regarding cravings, I'm into my 4th day AF in many years, however I'm still preoccupied by drinking thoughts.

I'm not craving in a physical way and the thoughts of alcohol do not appealing to me right now.

I'm still thinking of my next drink, in the hope I can be in control and then like any normal person go back to being AF until the next time I choose to have a tipple.

I like the analogy of the train slowing down and we either jump off or hang on, maybe in the early days as we start to benefit from TSM. We shouldn't expect too much.

Much of my problem is a forty year habit and no amount of TSM is going to change that fact. Maybe until I can address the habit it's not going to be possible to jump on and off the train without the occassional slip up.

One other thought I have, is that as newbies to TSM it seems most folk are expecting a quick response, partly because that's how TSM has been portrait. However thats not the experience of those on this journey who are posting now.

Good luck and hang in there, I'm sure we are all better off for TSM, even if it more difficult than we expected.

As I have often said, alcoholism is very time consuming, and most of the things we do while drinking are not as rewarding when we are not. Thus, habits and activities usually need to change as we decrease alcohol consumption in order to not leave a void in one's life. If there is a void, the usual practice of filling it with alcohol will be harder to resist.

What is going on otherwise in your life and routine? Has it changed in any way since you started TSM?

Guys, Thanks for your input. Yes, my expectations are and have been very high as with most things in my life. I really don't think there was anything different about last and this week except that I could look at that bottle of Sam Adams and felt VERY different about it last week. I felt a freedom from IT like I never had before and I mean complete and total control. I do remember consciously thinking that I would no longer drink except right at or a few minute before dinner time which meant never drinking on an empty stomach and only having 2-3. I also had an inner contract of never more than 2-3 in any case and felt very confident in my ability to stick to it. Then, this week that all went out the window and I am back to my pattern of starting 2-3 hours before dinner and pretty much drinking until I go to bed which means 6-10 units over a period of 4-5 hours. As I mentioned, this is much better than 6 months ago when I had to go from 0-60 in 4 seconds which meant 4-5 shots of hard liquor followed by countless beers and passing out at 8PM. Still, my volume sucks. I really think part of it is patterns. I work from home alone and with the solitude, three o'clock rolls around and I start thinking about my best friend alcohol to fill in the void. I think if I could just break out of my pattern of being alone in the late afternoon, and just DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT I could break out of this cycle of daily slow snockery. And maybe I'm being lazy about it too. However, all of these supposed tactics to not drink seem counter-intuitive to the whole concept of TSM. Extinction should bring about an automatic non-response to the idea of a drink and in fact produce some level of revulsion without my conscious participation whatsoever. I have been in touch with Roy Eskapa via email and his advice among many other tips is to just keep the faith and stick with it. It could take years. In the mean time I will have to call upon my forces of pure willpower to avoid the constant onslaught of ethanol through my body. Tipple tipple, toil and sipple. Bottle burn and bottle ripple. Was that Shakespeare? Ha Ha I just made that up.

Stay the course, you are doing great!

I find that being AF takes a little getting used to. I'm having my third this week and you seem to generate a lot of suppressed energy you didn't know was there. Feeling good can turn into a trigger if you're not careful, as in, I feel so damn good I'm going to celebrate

But look at the big picture and its still progress.

If I chart my daily drinking it looks like a frickin' roller coaster from hell!
If I chart my weekly drinking it's curves are much smoother and generally more down than up.
If I chart my monthly drinking the first three months are unquestionably a downward trend.

I guess what I'm trying to point out is don't sweat the short ups and downs too much.

I have been a big proponent of behavioral change along with nal. For me, a big thing was just having something non alcoholic to drink on hand. I also kept myself busy with projects, chores, etc.

Just because extinction is happening doesnt mean you cant help things along. Habits account for a lot imho.