I received my Naltrexone yesterday. Rushed to the P.O. after work to pick it up, got there just before it closed at 5 p.m. Took the first 25 mg dose right there in my car, bit the pill in half because I hadn't thought to bring my pill splitter. Talk about a bitter pill.

Drove to the mall to buy some clothes, something I dislike doing and had been putting off. (Primarily I needed more new undies, which I got.) After an hour had gone by, I went to one of my favorite bars and ordered a beer, an IPA. It tasted the same as ever but something was off. I drank it slowly - just didn't feel like getting it down quickly. Interestingly, this new bartender they have asked me if I wanted a glass of ice water with my beer. That was something I always used to insist upon, back when I was better about my drinking - a glass of water for every glass of an alcoholic beverage. I gladly accepted the ice water and drank it faster than the beer.

Although I was starting to feel a bit sleepy (odd for me at 6:30 at night), I ordered another beer, this one a Belgian style saison in a 12 ounce glass, and a cup of soup. It was hard for me even to finish this beer. I finished up my soup, paid for my tab, and drove home.

My husband had the dehumidifier disassembled outside and regaled me with the tale of how he'd discovered all this icky mold in it and how it was poorly made and how he was cleaning it and fixing it and had spent 5 hours on it already. I brought in my clothing bags and my package with the Nal in it. He vaguely noticed that I'd bought clothing, didn't comment on the package. He went in and sat in front of the TV.

I became annoyed that he hadn't said anything about my pills arriving. I generally felt grumpy and fatigued. Finally he noticed something was up with me. He asked me if I wanted to go out to eat, if I wanted him to cook dinner, what was up. I said "Actually I already had a cup of soup." He asked me where, I told him, and I mentioned that I'd taken the Nal an hour before. He then said "Oh, no wonder you're so pooped, since Naltrexone is a sedative." ??? I tried to tell him that the main SE is usually nausea, and that fatigue and somnolence are just as common as anxiety and insomnia, which is to say not very. (Am I right? I'm basing this on Dr. Eskapa's book.) I said I was just tired out by a week's worth of relatively poor sleep, plus the hops in the beer were hitting me harder than usual.

Anyway, the rest of the evening went OK, but I was grumpy throughout, and resentful of my husband for whatever reason. But I had no desire to drink more, and I woke up this morning with no hangover (although I still feel like I could sleep a few more hours).

Today I have the afternoon off. I'll be getting off work too late to catch the tail end of the U.S. versus Slovenia match, but I could go watch the England vs. Algeria match at one of the two bars in town that cater to British expats and soccer fans. I'm wondering, if I am going to drink with a late-ish lunch (say 2 p.m.) and then have a couple more beers at night (probably 8 p.m. or so) whether I should take two 25 mg doses or just assume the one will keep working.

Good for you, Luna! Now I want to encourage you NOT to overthink this process, and NOT to give up. I've been on TSM for SIXTEEN MONTHS. There was progress in reducing my drinking and the effects of drinking right away. . .I never again got "stone cold drunk" and stupid. Neither did I cut down my drinking to any dramatic degree, only by about 1/3 six months in.

I'm still drinking daily, but by MUCH less. . .used to be 10-12 glasses of wine every day (sometimes even more). Now it's 3. And I had an "ah ha!" moment just this week when I realized I ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO CRAVING OR DESIRE for AL. The only reason I still drink each day is to get out of my daily intense "work zone" at the end of the day, as AL helps me relax and refocus. Now that I realize that, I also know there are other things I can easily do to divert my attention from work and put a "period" at the end of the day. Groom the horses. Walk the dogs. Read my Kindle. Watch TV. Play online poker. Visit friends. All of them much more enjoyable than sitting around "buzzed."

But hey! Even if I always have one or two at the end of a day, so what? I'm no longer killing myself. The only reason I want to begin to have more AF days than not is because I want to begin to enjoy those things I used to take such pleasure in, and Nal definitely has taken the "Yeah baby!" factor out of a lot of activities.

Anyway, hang in there no matter how long this may take. Nal+Alcohol DOES = CURE!

Goin4More

Thanks, Goin4More. I'll try not to overthink it, but it's tricky. Funny, that's what they told me in AA, too, not to overanalyze. I'll take my Nal before my lunchtime beer, then in the evening I'll just play it by ear. Right now 25 mg feels like a lot to me - I could definitely tell I was "on" something, although I wasn't exactly nauseated.

Luna,

Most of us felt a day or two of nausea and/or spaciness when starting the Nal - this will pass fairly quickly, and you won't even know you're "on" anything. Once you titrate up to 50 mg. there's unlikely to be any side effects, and it's likely you'll need that dose.

Good luck!

Goin4

"I'll take my Nal before my lunchtime beer, then in the evening I'll just play it by ear." bustin rhymes up in this mofo! nice!!!!

I didn't even notice the rhyme. As it turned out, the Nal had definitely worn off by evening and I overdid it, not badly, but I had a bottle of wine as well as a couple beers after my husband went up to bed.

I've just read the part of Eskapa's book where he suggests only going with the 25 mg dose for a couple days, so my next dose will be the other half of the pill I've already taken today, and after that I will move up to 50 mg.

I'm sort of frustrated. I have been taking Nal for four days - the first two days 25 mg, and 50 mg thereafter. Other than the first day, when I stopped at the equivalent of 3 (US) drinks, I have been drinking more than my usual amount. On both Friday and Sunday I had about 13 drinks, which is a hell of a lot for me. It was over a somewhat long time period, but still, it bothers me. I didn't get into trouble, didn't do anything bad other than eat too much restaurant food for my budget, but I feel bad that I drank so much, and I can't afford to keep doing so with $8 a six-pack craft beers. My husband suggested I buy the cheapest beer I can stand (which would probably be Genesee Cream Ale or Pabst Blue Ribbon) but I said I don't think I'd really want to drink if that's all I had around.

Which I realize is ironic. I think today will be an AF day, at least so far that's what I think. I can't say what was making me drink so much other than it did not feel like it usually feels, so I kept drinking out of curiosity to see what I would feel like after more beers (the answer: sleepy).

Slow down there, GF! This is the equivalent of a cross-country drive, and you have barely got out of your driveway yet!

Don't worry about the amounts (yet). Don't worry about AF's (yet). Don't even worry about them 5-6 months down the road. . .just take your Nal and drink as you please.

Here's the important part: when you have a day you don't feel like drinking, don't do it. What I discovered is that even with zero craving I was pouring that end of day glass of wine out of habit. . .and then the second one, and so on. Find some other fun things to do: walk your dog, dig in the garden, call a good friend on the phone, watch that movie you've been wanting to see (guess what? You'll remember the ending the next day!).

Going4

I know I am going too fast. Reading some posts on this forum has helped me gain perspective.

The reason I was contemplating an AF day is that I did manage several of them during the time I was waiting for the Nal to arrive. I can do an AF day, I can even do one drink with dinner (if I am sufficiently distracted from drinking by other things), the trouble is that I usually have my first several drinks in rapid succession and from there I am off.

But I'll wait until tonight and see. I was just looking at a book of photographs taken in the photographer's own kitchen, and the ones with wine and beer in them were setting off a mild craving in me. If I do drink, I'll take my Nal first. (And, before anyone asks, I am really not trying to drink as much as possible per day thinking that will hasten the extinction process. I know better.)

Hi Luna,

I have had the same alarming increase in drinking since starting Nal a few weeks ago. The first day I drank a little less than normal, ever since then I have been drinking the same or more and faster than usual. One difference I notice is that I fall asleep before I sneak last few I might have before. And I do experience a bit more clarity about what I am doing, meaning I feel less driven by some internal demon and more paying attention to what I am doing while doing it anyway.

I do notice some subtle changes. Last night, for example, I was about 5 1/2 vodka drinks in and wanted another. There was nothing left in the house but Bud Light and tequila. Neither sounded good at all, so I decided against another. Before Nal I would have figured out something to make out of that tequila, or decided that Bud Light was okay after all. So, maybe that is progress?

I am trying to remember that this is a long, long process and to live life as I would have anyway, but always taking Nal before I drink. Hopefully over time I will see changes, even though so far I also don't see much difference. I keep getting the advice to be patient not to overthink it, so I am trying to listen to that.

Hang in there, I am right here with you!

YG