Hi all - I've been lurking but not posting...but to encourage anyone who struggles I thought I'd say a bit about recent progress, and what happens when one gets in one's own way...
In my case, some of you know I'm a daily drinker and usually have one or two, and for years have not been able to have more than one or two AF says. This pattern had been creeping up to BIG one, and BIG two recently. I feel no buzz on Nal but can feel the booze in my body and I don't even enjoy it!
With Lent just around the corner I thought I'd better see if just living through the cravings would help - and it did. I was AF Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday - with not much trouble - just got busy around dinner time and by 6:30 the "want" passed. An added incentive was evening prayers which I almost never say if I've been drinking - and I want to do this badly.
But I figured hey, it's the weekend coming, and I've been such a good girl, so last night, Friday, I took .50 Nal at 4 pm- got a bit spacy since I'd had none for 4 days - this surprised me as I'd not felt that since I started way back in Nov. Anyway, I had had a terribly stressful day, did not eat right, and was really teed off at hubby over something trivial...long story short I had two large glasses of red at dinner. Got very irritable - woke up in the night with a killer migraine - felt like heck, and I'm still in my jammies now at 11:47 am, with possibly my whole Saturday screwed!!!!!
All that because I was not willing to say - "listen, just because it's the weekend is no excuse to drink - why not just "live" through the craving" - which was not horrible anyway! Why? Well, because I'm an alcoholic, that's why (ha, ha, ha).
Upshot: I do have the power to have AF days. I simply will DO it. Nal is doing it's wonders behind the scenes. In my particular case I think I'm getting close to cured - but I'M IN MY OWN WAY. Bring on Lent!! Then I'll have a real incentive to tough it out more. In my particular case I'm convinced that's the secret - have real reasons OUTSIDE myself to help me live through the hour or so when I do want to drink - a penance for Lent, and relief of migraines as alcohol is poisoning me!!!. I'm sooooo close!
Hope you all are having a good weekend - it's snowing again here too which just adds to my day (not!)
|