ok people...i need help and encouragement.....got mad last night and stayed up drinking all night...long time since I have done that...ugh....drinking again (I took my nal) at 6:00am in morning....I'm 13 weeks into this....i screwed up...is there hope....haven't done this in months....called in sick to work to drink...

So sorry, a bit of a set back. Keep on the Naltrexone one hour before and hope for the best. Don't know what more to say other than I feel your helplessness.

I'm wondering WTF is up with this stuff. I've been having wonderful results, and feeling great progress. My drinking levels have been consistently lowering. Suddenly, at weeks 14 and 15, when I expect TSM to be really KICKING IN, I find alcohol KICKING MY ASS.

I can't figure it out, but can't help but try to figure it out.

Sigh. OK. Keep at it: naltrexone+drinking=cure. I'll do this for the rest of my life, no matter WHAT!

I've been thinking the exact same thing and have been having the same problem.

Not sure what it is, but am really hoping the coming weeks bring the "break point" WTE mentioned.

Q

sillygrits, It is SUCH A STRUGGLE, and I feel for you and for how you are feeling, such a failure type of a feeling and we do not do well with failure. So shake it off, and continue to move forward, do not let this be a backfall.

Force yourself to do something positive for yourself today, even if it's just 20 sit ups, something simple. Some thing that you feel is rewarding and endorses your abilities.

Pollyanna here....easy to say hard to do.

AND ALL yes, this is a long strange trip, so we started and now we are seeing where we shall go, best to just continue. What are our alternatives?

I must say, I am upping my baclofen use especially at pm before bed and I am sleeping well, and not awaking to drink, nor use any of my zanax. Well, duh! Last night I did take a zanax (.25mg) but I was in the middle of an EXTREMELY STRESSFUL situation, but that was the first time in 1 1/2 weeks, so I think I am successfully reducing my intake of the benzos. Thats a plus.

Well, I have managed to survive today and the killer hangover! Serves my alcoholic ass right. But, I glad to see that I am not alone in this fight either. I fight daily to keep that nagging little voice out of my head that keeps telling me that I am going to be one of the FEW that isn't cured by this method. However, looking back over my calendar I have noticed that I have managed several AF days this month (and today will be one of them). Without this method I couldn't imagine an AF day...heck, I couldn't get out of work fast enough and to the convience store to get the "big boy" (24 ounce beer) and chug it on the way home. Now I can manage to actually wait several hours when getting home without drinking. These things may sound simple but they are HUGE steps for me. Well, its important to remember these positives when experiencing days like this....

I also take xanax and that is what pissed me off last night. I wanted on and my mom (who I asked to hide them) would not give me one. So I said f*** it....I'll just drink the rest of the night...stupid decision.

I am not sure that I agree that xanax makes it work any better or worse although I am trying not to take them either...although I only took 1 a day at the most...usually at night.

I also take ambien to sleep which makes me sleep walk and do crazy stuff. I know, i know, do not take with alcohol but I cannot sleep without it. I don't sleep walk when I don't drink...duh!!!

I need to research the baclofen before going into see my shrink. how much do you take?

The 3ish+ month mark is extremely frustrating. I think it's because most of us set our clocks to 'wake up and be cured' at the 3 - 4 month mark. Ok, so we now know it's not the same timeframe for everyone...and maybe 3-4 months is the ideal and we still have a ways to go. We need to remember as well, that SpringerRider wasn't posting much around this time frame and when he did have set backs, I don't think he advertised them as much. He posted and focused on the successes. (I am only pointing him out as he is one of the longer-term success stories).

I think we are all getting a little depressed at this point, myself included. This can be a tough process - we are not 100% cured and we don't have anyone to talk to about it in our lives (most of us) and we don't have any long-termers around to talk to. And we are still drinking - so that in itself doesn't help with anxiety or depression...

Sillygrits - look at last night as a big extinguishing session, nothing more, nothing to worry about but I'm sorry for you that happened. The rest of us, cry it out if you need to, chin up tomorrow...

Thank goodness we have each other here to bounce around thoughts / scream through the lack of progress right now.

Wow,

All these f*ing drugs - we're not just a bunch of drunks, but also voluntary guinea pigs for everything that might take away or help our anxiety/depression. What a bummer. Remember the "old days" (for those who grew up in the 70s or earlier)? Lots of partying with alcohol and pot. I didn't get into the other chemicals, like LSD or acid much. Tried a few strange little pills a couple times, and got pretty scared when I saw things I couldn't explain. The bad experiences kept me from continuing. Funny how the ridiculous hangovers - (I would puke all day until I spit blood into the toilet) never stopped me from drinking again. I thought the short-term buzz was better than the very likely possibility of getting sick for a day or more. It's easy for me to say everybody's (including myself) relying on all these prescription drugs to cope, when WE did without. But who can say which is worse? We slammed beers or glasses of wine while listening to John Denver sing "pass the pipe around" (which we did), but that was all considered normal then.

However, in the old days, there was no talk of 'depression' as a condition - you were just a drag to be around. If you had extreme anxiety (and didn't most of us?), you had to just "suck it up" and deal with life. But alcohol....it always saved the day, never made me paranoid, gave me the courage to talk to people, gave me confidence I never had - it was more reliable than a best friend!

Almost 35 years later, alcohol is no longer my best friend - it's my worst enemy. Today, we can look for prescription drugs to fill in the blanks where alcohol isn't appropriate. Can't go to work drunk (but some of us have), can't bring a bottle along everywhere, (but some of us have). These meds are supposed to take the place of alcohol in terms of dealing with life when you can't drink - at least for me. Problem for me is, nothing works as well as alcohol, so I never gave it up. The drugs sort of help, but aren't nearly as powerful as a cold 12-pack of beer in my face!

To be honest, I would never have believed there was such a thing as mental illness if I hadn't gone manic and bought a timeshare without talking to my husband! Until then, I figured it was moral weakness, lack of willpower, blah, blah, blah. Same shame as alcohol dependence, but this time I went bonkers! That proved to me that there MUST be some sort of chemical imbalance, because I wasn't "high" when that happenend. Even so, I fear that the psych community now places too much importance on "fixes" for depression, anxiety, cholesterol control, and on and on. We never had drug commercials growing up. I can tell you they have an effect, because the current generation seems to believe every problem - from a bad school test score to a broken heart - can be solved by popping some sort of pill. This is not good in my opinion, and yet I wouldn't stop taking my meds for a second. The difference is I have a "real" psychiatric condition, not just a bad day once in a while.

The drama and hype surrounding supposed mental illness scares the crap out of me with kids. I thank God every day that my girls are healthy, but the stuff they face in school is frightenting. It's sort of cool to have "issues" these days - rehab is almost a badge of honor. Makes me sick and angry, but I can't change what is. Cutting - (creating superficial wounds with a sharp instrument) is also "popular" these days, especially for girls. This is to the point where I'm no longer surprised to hear about it, have even witnessed lame attempts to indicate it (girls scraping a little design onto their inner arm with a fingernail). The drama never ends.... And then I wonder - is this really any different than how we used drugs way back then? My girls are WAY anti-drug/alcohol, since I did such a good job of showing them the consequences. I guess that's the only good thing that came from my drinking.

Anyhow, I feel the pain for all of your dealing with medication issues on top of TSM. I pray you will find the right combination. And while it might take time, I know it will work out.

Unfortunately, many people do not understand cutting/self-mutilation. I see that young folks do it a lot, perhaps because it is a "badge of honor", a social right-of-passage, or as a method of truly coping.

As recently as 3 years ago, as a 49 year old man, I would puncture/cut my skin and pour or spray rubbing alcohol on the wound to create intense pain to alleviate my anxiety. It worked great. Real pain takes away the psychological pain that we experience, because the mind can only focus on one pain, the greatest pain, at any single moment in time.

I certainly do not condone this method of coping, and I no longer do it, but it worked very well in my case. Since then, my meds have worked much better, therefore, I no longer perform this practice. This act may not seem rational, but it works well for true sufferers.

What really bothers me is that some young ones do it for the wrong reason(s); they want to be socially accepted rather than alleviating their non-existent psychological pain.

Bob