Hey Retread,
Just my 2 cents. I also have an easier time having an AF day than moderating once I start. I think it is the brain still looking for the endorphins and just pushing to get them. It is getting better for sure but once I am feeling tipsy, I do have the urge to drink more and keep it going. If I let the buzz die down (usually by accident or necessity - not because I want to) I can then stop - but when I am buzzed, I want to stay buzzed, for sure.
I am also finding that if I go a couple days, my drinking seems to be a bit more excessive when I start back up. I'm not sure if this is all in my head or could it be a toned down 'Alcohol Deprivation Effect' situation? Something to consider.....
Keep up the good work. We will make it to the other side together!
Jephiner