I first heard about Gabor Mate on this forum (or it might have been MWO??) anyway here's a really good youtube of Mate being interview about his new book. I'm learning a lot from this guy. Especially that you don't have to fit the profile of 'abused children' to fit the whole addiction thing.

Anyway here it is:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ-FAX4Pz8I

Here's another Gabor Mate video that made sense, for me, of my addiction.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ-FAX4Pz8I

dothework

I've often wondered how my life would have gone if I had had a better start in life. I'm concerned about the possibility of using it as an excuse, though. It's not under our control. We can't change our pasts.

He makes sense in a lot of ways, though.

Hi Melissa. I'm not sure what you mean by "use it as an excuse." We don't do anything without a reason. What Mate says, if I'm interpreting him correctly is other than our automatic limbic system everything we do is based on a thought process. It can be flawed, or based on wrong information, or for a crazy reason but it's still filtered by thought.

If our attachments in childhood are ill-formed we are lost. We attach ourselves to something that gives us what we need. That can be a lousy boyfriend who treats us badly, or we develop an attachment to junk food, or we soothe ourselves with alcohol. Can we say we're using our lack of attachment to loving relationships in babyhood and childhood as an excuse? I don't think we can use excuse here in the usual way we do.

If I reach for alcohol to soothe my hurting heart that's not an excuse. It's a deep seated longing for the attachment I didn't form with my parents. And this can be changed in that I can learn to attach in my adulthood to things that will give me what I need, instead of things that hurt me.

Look for a video on Depression by Professor Robert Sapolsky. (Edit: here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc)
JMum

Perhaps I'm just a bit too depressed myself at the moment. This is hitting me rather hard, since I'm already feeling the weight of all the stuff I used alcohol to wash away.

I don't want to drink, since the addiction is extinguished. I don't know what I want to do.

Gabor mate is my addiction too and can’t tell you how much I fond of this game. I made the highest scores in it and trying to maintain that graph. Please share on essaypro.com your scores as well here.