I thought it might be a good and quite obvious idea to have a thread recording experiences of TSM at Christmas. As we all probably know Christmas can be a very stressful, dangerous time for alcoholics what with all the parties, socialising and it's a time associated with heavy drinking. Am hoping others can add contributions too.

For me Christmas was always a dark time, I struggle with winter and although for the last 5 years I've been sober on Christmas day I've still had many Christmases ruined by drinking on other days, wrecked work parties, suicide attempts, hungover on the day itself and unable to join in properly. Desperate for the shops to open because I had had enough (over here opportunities to buy alcohol on 25th December are very limited).

This year is my first following TSM and it's been a success. I have never had to take so much Naltrexone before on my TSM journey though and that has left me feeling a bit off. Nothing major but I can tell it's been in my system constantly. My drinking diary looks like this;

22nd December 1 glass wine with lunch out with friend, 50mg Naltrexone 1 hour beforehand.
23rd December 2 drinks/4 units out in town went to a bar then dancing in a night club 50mg Naltrexone taken 2 hours before I went out
24th December lunch out, forgot to drink had taken 25mg Naltrexone 1 hour beforehand taking along a blister strip to top up only to find the strip was empty. Did have a glass of mulled wine whilst attending a carol singing event later in the afternoon. Took 25mg when got home and had 1 med glass wine with evening meal with friend followed by some orange spiced alcoholic gingerbeer. Probably around 5 units for the day.
25th December 1 1/2 med glasses wine with Christmas Dinner, took 50mg Naltrexone 1 hour prior. Later had 2 med glasses wine with family, including over evening meal. Approx. 5 units.

During all of this I took my time, made sure I had eaten before drinking and had always taken my Naltrexone.

Feelings - at times I was tempted out of boredom to go plough ahead and get drunk, but TSM has given me the power to resist and by drinking slowly I found the urge disappeared pretty quickly and I'd just start being interested in something else.

I have noticed my sense of taste has been affected, and I feel a bit dull. I have no cravings for alcohol though, and have decided I don't want to drink today.

It's a success in a way, however it's made me think do I REALLY want to drink?It's not that spectacular and I'm really not that bothered.

Well, it's the afternoon after a late family Christmas celebration and I feel good!!!So, happy to say that. Thanksgiving was also a success this year thanks to the NAL. There have been a few really bad Christmases in the past when the partying caught up with me and either made a scene or had to stay over at a relative's house. I am still not up to 50 mg of NAL but took about 37 mg last night with a snack and about 1 1/2 hours before a glass of wine. I was the hostess and fixing the meal and usually drink wine unconsciously through out the meal preparation. I paid attention and only had 1/2 glass of white then dumped the rest out and had a glass of red with dinner and another glass a couple of hours later. I made a point of drinking Pelligrino with lemon in between. So, that's a very good evening and I got to take care of a few others who had too much.

But, I had a binge a few days ago and it started with me not eating and really wanting to feel a buzz and the first glass tasted good and the second better and ended up downing a bottle and a half of wine and staying up til 4:oo am with my son mad at me and me eventually blacking out. So, that was the old behavior still appearing, unfortunately a couple of days a week the last two weeks. So, it's scary because I don't really know which way I'll go. The thing that I did notice was that when the first drink tastes and feels good, then it's sign that the old brain pathways are activated and someone should lock me in a closet after that (I wish) because it means that I will lose control and drink too much. When the first drink is boring, it's usually gonna be a tame night! So, one really can observe what is happening, although the control isn't always there.

Yes, the NAL hangovers are terrible and I get intoxicated quicker; lot's of you seem to agree on that.

Happy Holidays and safe drinking to everyone!

Thank you, UKblonde, for starting this thread - great idea. I'm SO appreciative of you "cured list" people staying involved w/ us still on the path...I think of you all as the 'Rock Stars'. But anyway...

Yes, the Holidays are an emotional time, and also a natural time to reflect since it's the end of the year and of course, at the first of the next year is the one where I'm really, really going to change my life, right??? But THIS year...I feel like I've implemented that change, w/ TSM. I was thinking about that yesterday - and feeling so very grateful. It's true that I had 6 aus on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - I'd LIKE to report much lower numbers, but in lieu of that I know the experience of HOW I drink and feel about it is so very different that I think next Christmas will be a whole 'nother story. I had to really think about whether I wanted that next drink, rather than being whisked away on the magic carpet ride - getting loaded takes a fair amount of work, and I'm finding I'm somewhat lazy. But at 11 weeks on TSM, there is still an element of "I-get-to-drink-all-I-want-to,-dammit!" going on w/ the part of me that resented all the years of my struggle to control !!!

Anyway, I admire your progress, UKB, and loved reading your good account, Annette. I'm a little confused on your signature: are you in week 4, or did you start 1/22?

Chrissie

"The thing that I did notice was that when the first drink tastes and feels good, then it's sign that the old brain pathways are activated and someone should lock me in a closet after that (I wish) because it means that I will lose control and drink too much. When the first drink is boring, it's usually gonna be a tame night! So, one really can observe what is happening, although the control isn't always there."
Yep. Exactly. Even at something like 40 weeks on nal, this is exactly the case. There are those few instances when the alcohol tastes like it used to do, and in those cases the nal feels like a buffer at best...not much more than that.
As for Christmas, I must say that it has traditionally been very lowkey at my house, and this year was no exception, What is much, much worse for me is New Year's Eve....

Yes I still get the occasional 'alcohol feels good' moment, however it's not very often - probably because I broke out of the daily drinking, I get to drink what I want pretty quickly. I was never naturally a daily drinker which helped, and I realised at about 6 weeks in that I was only drinking because I could, tried a few AF days and it really wasn't that difficult at all. My last 'it feels' good night was approximately 2-3 weeks ago and I probably drank 1 to 1 1/2 bottles wine BUT I didn't go doo lally, all I did was go home quietly. Big change since drinking that much in the past would involve drunk dialling, possible trouble with the law, falling or hurting myself.

I also follow some golden rules which are always make sure I've eated a proper meal before/around drinking. I'd read on here that it seems to help and I have noticed it myself. When I've had my spikes it's usually a new trigger, or I've purposely held off eating. So I make sure I don't.

Hi All! I started TSM the week of Christmas and so far; have been thrilled with my results. I made the goal of not drinking a drop until my 3 year old son goes to bed (which is around 9 or 9:30). I usually took my Nal about 9:00 each night and didn't have my first drink until 10 or 10:30. I noticed that I could have gone without a drink on most of the days but like many just starting out; decided it's finally ok to drink so damn it I'm gonna!

My husband's mother and son were staying with us and typically, his mother coming into town brings crazy stress for me. She is EXTREMELY religious and every other year, that stress has pushed me to drink out of control. In fact, one year, I actually came home sloshed IN FRONT of her and couldn't even bring myself to say good bye to her before she went home. Fortunately, while she is very religious, she doesn't seem to be judgmental. This year however, I truly thought about everything. Usually before her visit, I am manically cleaning and trying to be PERFECT. We just made a huge move out of state and our house is still in disarray; I made no effort to hide it and she never said a thing. I realized that I was putting all of this unnecessary stress on myself; her house is never perfectly clean when we are there and she's never made a comment about mine.

With that said, I did drink during her visit but managed to wait until she was going to bed each night (around 10 or so). Out of respect to her (as well as not showcasing it in front of my step son), I had to drink out of a regular cup so I am sure my measurements were larger than a regular glass of wine. However, I was able to stop every night after 2 cups of wine (I am estimating about 3-4 glasses a night). While that sounds high, pre TSM I was at 2 bottles of wine a night and COULD NOT stop until I passed out. I only had one night this week where I fell asleep on the couch, every other night, I remember washing my cup and going to bed!

Decided that my goal for this week is to try to decrease my units to 3 glasses per setting; will do that for a few weeks and then go for an AF day. It has been so nice sleeping through the night, not waking up with a hang over AT ALL, and not sweating my ass off during the day. I feel very optimistic and going to continue tracking my progress and reading everyone else's. I am finding this forum wonderful for tips, support, and insight!

Best of luck to all getting through New Year's! Go easy on yourself and Nal On!!!!

I don't like to think about how many times I've passed Christmas day with a hangover. I actually love the holiday but it's also an emotionally intense time with all kinds of family ghosts drifting about.

This year I felt like hell on Christmas Eve day but kept it more under control that night an had a reasonably good Christmas day itself. Yesterday was better as well.

There's not much fun in drinking for me these days. It really feels like all I'm doing is (grudgingly) feeding the addiction. I'm hoping to turn a corner soon where the numbers drop and the evening craving subsides. I want my life and my clear brain back. That's what I want from 2012!

Thanks ukblonde, Christmas is an elephant-in-the-room if I'm not careful. My emotions aren't dissimilar to tiller's, especially the bit about grudgingly feeding the addiction. So far, Nal's killed the desperate "must drink" cravings where "the switch" turns on; as yet, I'm still struggling with the "but it feels good..." part which is no longer the case but continues to be an ingrained perception that I haven't lost yet.