Now that I've really admitted to myself that I have a problem, I'm starting to feel pretty crappy about myself. I felt almost better when I was trying to convince myself that I didn't really have a drinking problem. Does anyone relate? Does it get better? I feel like I need to do something to make myself feel good again. I am still waiting for my Nal in the mail, still have about 2 weeks of a wait.

Lolo:

You are making a brave decision to take control of your life and should feel strong about that. This beast is a disease, not a moral failing. Would you beat yourself up for having arthritis?

There are some positive online resources out there like My Way Out and Smart Recovery. Maybe some of their tools and discussions would be helpful to you. The problem many people have with AA is it encourages us to see ourselves as powerless, and to define ourselves as drunks for life. That's why TSM is an important alternative. We get to define who we are.

But most of us, at some time, share those feelings of shame and failure. They go hand-in-hand with alcohol which, after all, is a central nervous system depressant.

Again, you're making a good change for good reasons. It won't be easy or quick, but you should feel some pride in what you're doing.

During my wait for Nal more than a year ago, my drinking spiked outrageously. It was as if I had give myself tacit permission to drink with abandon while waiting to start TSM. It was quite concerning to me. I thought I might have issues with physical withdrawal. However, Nal had an immediate effect, my drinking dropped 70% in a couple weeks and never went back to pre-TSM level. The inability to control my compulsion through resolution alone was very demoralizing. I am solidly 'cured' now. It has been the most important health decision of my 57 years. Good luck!

I think tiller said it all. This is not your fault, lolo1976, although having problems is never a pleasent thing. For example, I'm almost bald (why, God, WHY??? ). That really pisses me off, but I know it's not my fault. So, patience... And yes, I'm not happy nor comfortable with this, but I still have strenght and intelligence to work and keep up chasing happiness and self-fullfilment.

Of course I'm trying to sound funny here . My point is, we must face the fact that most people will never understand that we have a disease, but what matters is that WE know that. And we found a way to treat it!

Good luck!

Hi Lolo,

I can relate to how you feel. Realising that we have a problem, be it alcohol, debt, work or any problem, sucks. We'd rather not have a problem, we'd rather not have to deal with it. Why me? What am I going to do? Sometimes our first reaction is to try and pretend that the problem's not there, we go through various stages until we are forced to face facts: I have a problem and I have to solve it. It's a frightening and worrying time.

But the good news is that your problem has a solution, the solution is TSM, it will take time and effort on your part but the problem will go away. It does get better! a whole lot better!

So be proud of yourself for facing up to your problem and for taking steps to solve it. You have an alcohol problem because of your biochemical and genetic make up, not because you are a bad person or because you did something wrong. Arm yourself with information and knowledge, read The Cure for Alcoholism by Dr. Eskapa, read the threads on this forum, prepare yourself and in a few months time your problem will be gone.

Best,

Curi

thanks all for your responses. I'm feeling better today, I think that I've just been listening to way too many other people who make me feel like I'm just weak willed. I'm really hoping that TSM ends up being a cure (or near cure) for me.

lonewarrior: you made me lol with your bald comment!

I am glad you are feeling better today. Have you read "The Cure for Alcoholism," by Drs Eskapa and Sinclair? It is quite comforting. If not, I would highly recommend it. The book contains a lot of good information.