Most of us probably asked the question, either out loud or at least to ourselves, as soon as we began to understand how TSM works: what about the endorphin-producing things I like to do? I don't want to extinct them! And thankfully we have all held on to our basic human drives, as far as I know, and we all still like to have sex (as far as I need to know!). But I have noticed some pretty extreme changes in my behavior patterns and the things I like to do, as I have progressed with TSM.

Two of my biggest interests - music and sailing - nearly fell off the earth when TSM began to kick in, causing me a great deal of concern and quite a bit of heartache. I would struggle to regain my interest in these things, but to no avail. I'd try to force myself to do them, thinking that I'd enjoy it once I started, but I didn't. Then I would feel guilty, like I had abandoned and old friend, but there was nothing I could do: the interest simply wasn't there.

Tonight I planned to work on this production project, one I really like, but as I thought about going into my studio and firing up my gear and working, I began to feel sick. Like physically ill. And tonight I really made the connection: it's nal sick. Over the years I have always associated music and drinking, they are just natural party buds. But as time went on the drinking started to muscle into the music's territory, until really music making just became an excuse to pound a six pack and a bottle of wine, and no real music was being made.

So tonight, thinking of making music and not drinking, I still felt sick. Behold the power of association! But I pushed through the sick feeling and went into the studio, fired up my gear and just went at it, sick or not. And pretty soon I wasn't sick. It was a great feeling, I got a lot done, and I feel like I made some progress in dealing with what for me has been a big issue: the psychological side effects of TSM. (another issue, another post)

Now I have a plan: I will do studio work only on nights I'm not going to drink, which is most of them these days. In fact, I don't know what I'm going to do when I do drink. Maybe I'll just sit and stare drunkenly at the wall. Damn wall! But at least that way I won't be reinforcing connections between nal, drinking, and the activities I love.

I have no idea if it works this way for anyone else, but for me it pays to be aware of what you are doing when you rewire your brain.

Oh yeah, sailing: same story. Just thinking of going down to the marina made me want to puke, until I went ahead and sailed sober (Its possible, but who knew!!). Now I get the fun of rediscovering these things on their own terms.

Fire

Good post, Fire.

The good news seems to be that although I initially experienced a BIG decrease in interest in certain pleasurable activities when first starting TSM, they are back to their old levels of enjoyment.

Based on my experience, your love of music and sailing will come back. And hopefully the alcohol urge will stay gone.

I can honestly say I have not had any undesired extinction so I cannot relate to this topic. I haven't heard anyone else here describe this either. My only concern is that newbies might be scared off of the method when reading this subject. I'm not saying don't discuss it, but it reminds me a little of Eskapa's line about avoiding positive behaviors like sex while on naltrexone. Some people were potentially scared away because they feared they'd extinguish positive behaviors which is a silly concern when compared to curing yourself of alcoholism. Again, this is a good topic for discussion, but it is the first time I've read anything like it on the board.

Maybe it's an isolated thing. But if it's not, it would be much better to know about it in advance, so that one can take precautions against it, such as avoiding certain activities while taking nal. Also, I would have been less freaked out by the whole thing if I had someone who had been through this saying, "Hey, don't freak out, the stuff you love to do will come back when you're ready."

And newbies should have nothing to fear: this is one person's experience, and not necessarily representative of everyone's. You can proceed with more confidence knowing that others have uncovered potential pitfalls. Also, alcohol was destroying my interests long before TSM. Now that I have a reign on the AL, I can begin to regain my interests anew.

But I am curious now, are nemo and I the only ones who have had some type of this experience?

You are absolutely correct about the biggest value of this board: hearing from others who have gone through the method what to expect. If it wasn't for this site, I would have gotten sick on nal on day one and would have considered saying "screw this" considering the book basically says naltrexone has no side effects. And then I had the "honeymoon" with a sharp decrease in drinking, also not mentioned in the book. And then I had the spike in drinking, also not mentioned in the book but forewarned to me by others. This board prepped me for every step of my journey to control over my drinking habit and for that I'm grateful. Sounds like undesired extinction may be another topic of preparation for some folks.

I will say this: when I was drinking 50 plus per week, I really only enjoyed one thing in life: my next drink. TSM has fixed that -- my enthusiasm for every other aspect of my life has skyrocketed since regaining control of my habit. Of course, the Prozac hasn't hurt either.

This was a major concern for my wife when starting this program. It's true that newcomers might be put off by this prospect, so a good balanced discussion seems appropriate. Mrs. reports that she has not had any such reaction. She enjoys sex and vigorous exercise most days and has not had any diminished enjoyment as described. To be fair, she has been lucky enough to have AF days early on, so there has been ample opportunity to engage in endorphin producing activities without Nal in her system. It seems reasonable to have some expectation of diminished pleasure during early stages of this treatment if there is daily intake, but know that this is easily reversible once you have opportunity to reinforce those activities on AF days. It seems worth the temporary condition, even if it's rare.

I believe that I have undergone some unintended extinction as well. Since I used to be a daily drinker beginning from the time I got off of work until I fell asleep for the night (passed out), any evening activity that I had engaged in or enjoyed in the past, I have had to make an extra effort to engage in. Personal hygiene activities like showering and brushing my teeth, I don't automatically do as I did in the past. I must force myself to do them and to be very open and honest, sometimes I just go to bed without doing either. TV watching has gone down considerably, which is probably a good thing. Playing my guitar has gone away also, but I was never very good at it anyway. There are a smattering of other things I no longer do, All of them evening activities.

Of course now that there was this time void to fill, I read more which is something I enjoy and that activity fills my time very nicely.

I would NEVER trade the cure of my alcoholism for the any or all of the activities above. I think most of these evening behaviors will resume with time. Even if they don't, which is highly unlikely, life without alcoholism is so much better and I don't think this would scare anyone who read this away.

Bob

I also wouldn't trade my previous life for what I have now. NO WAY!!! But I do think a person might want to plan nal taking and activities accordingly. For instance, if your life is drinking while making beaded wall hangings, you might want to decide to make wall hangings during the day before you start drinking. When TSM starts to kick in you'll have plenty of time to make wall hangings day and night if you want to. Of course as far as I know making beaded wall hangings is not particularly endorphin releasing (or is it?), but the thing can become associated with the feeling of drinking on nal if you do them at the same time whether the thing itself is endorphin producing or not.

But as many of you have pointed out, once you get control over your life, your time, interest, ability and overall desire to do things seems to skyrocket. It's just good to have a map when you go out walking in strange territory.

I am a bit fearful of this and have decided to put off cardio and other endorphin enducing activities until TSM kicks in. I'm hoping to fulfill my endorphin needs through good and fun activities like exercising, meditation and masturbating.....oh I didn't just say that did I?

Hey OMT - I have it from a good source (my right-hand man you could say) that these activities you describe continue un-abated through TSM.