I've been telling my GP (General Practitioner - regular doctor here in the UK) I've been abstinent for the last three months, when I haven't. I've been drinking and following TSM. He doesn't know I'm taking Naltrexone, and thinks I've had only one or two lapses (of a few days) back into drinking.

At one of the lapses he knows about, I was back to drinking whisky 24/7 because my anxiety was totally out of control. As a result, he prescribed me as much diazepam as I needed to quell anxiety and avoid returning to the destructive drinking I went through at the turn of the year.

I take diazepam in the daytime for anxiety (though I am mostly strict about how much I take - after months on the stuff I am dependent, I know, and wish to reduce, but am waiting for the effects of an anti-anxiety beta-blocker to kick in before doing so) and I drink in the evenings.

My last liver function test came back within the 'normal' range. I was absolutely (thankful, and) amazed as my drinking's been pretty heavy in some recent weeks.

My GP has been very supportive of everything I've been through this last year or two. He's perfunctory - to the point. On the other hand, I think his wider knowledge is limited, he doesn't seem to plan ahead, and doesn't always think things through (giving unlimited diazepam to a known substance abuser - what??!!)

My progress on TSM is reasonable, I think, so far. No 'cure' at this stage (week thirteen) but there are tremendous glimmers of change that I see weekly, and I'm convinced I'm on the right path here (with Baclofen something I may consider adding in the future for anxiety, even if 'cured' by TSM).

My great dilemma is that I'm lying to my GP weekly about drinking every time he asks me if I have been and I say 'no'. I've been drinking daily for three months now following a period of abstinence, and feel in my body that I'm completely drink-dependent. If anything were to happen to me and I was hospitalised not only would my Nal use have to come out into the open, but also that I'll need a chemical detox most probably alongside any other treatment, to prevent seizures. After that point (however unlikely it is) my doctor (or any other) would never believe another word I say - it'll be on my health records forever that I lied about substance misuse...

Why do I lie? I mentioned Baclofen to him and he dismissed it completely from his reading of that big book of medicines all doctors have. He doesn't think outside the box to any extent, and isn't prepared to not follow 'the norm'. I haven't even bothered to mention TSM to him as I know it'll be a dead end. It was my suggestion that I move on to a beta-blocker - instead of the SSRI he kept pushing for - for the effects on my heart that anxiety produces, to which he said 'good idea!' I feel like I'm my own best doctor and really sailing with my own map and compass, but feel terrible about being dishonest.

I've tried most of the other GPs at the same practice at some point, and they seem equally to do things 'by the book'. In fact one of them wouldn't prescribe me more than 10 x 2 mgs diazepam within a month for the awful anxiety I suffered during extremely traumatic circumstances late last year - with nothing to calm me apart from alcohol the result was my first ever descent into 24/7 drinking, out of utter desperation, for five months; an eventual detox/rehab; a year off work (so far); and in any case I now take that amount every two days...anyone know what the opposite of preventative medicine's called?

I am under a private doctor for TSM, who is not in touch with my GP.

My dilemma is the lies I am telling my GP, who is doing his very best to help me in every other way, and what would happen if this all came out. I'm sorry for the lengthy post, but this is tearing at my mind daily right now. I'd love some advice, and thought it best to include as much detail as possible.

Thanks so much for reading

eight

You are not a doctor and neither am I. I think you know how I feel about doctors, so we won't go there.

I can't give you advice as anything other than as a friend.

It sounds to me like you are more well versed in these areas than your professionals. This is common around here and I would say that the only real use seeing a doctor is that having an outside, objective opinion is incredibly valuable. And that, in and of itself, can often times prove to be very beneficial. I wish I had a chance to go see a doctor without having to pay through the nose more than I would if I wanted an 8 ball of coke (sorry kiddies, no I don't do coke).

Don't fret about being dishonest. Your future is worth too much to worry about things like this that might jeopardize it.

I can forward you a study where they've shown that Baclofen is as effective as Diazepam for controlling symptoms of uncomplicated alcohol withdrawal, if you'd like.

Thank you Lo0p, for your kind words. I very much appreciate your opinion as a friend

I'm completely in agreement - I think we need to take charge of our own health, and when informed can do so without relying on doctors without open minds to new evidence and studies, or unwilling to consider 'niche' but scientifically proven alternatives to the mainstream (as TSM currently is outside Finland, as I understand it).

My concern is that my alcoholism is on my health records now in the UK. If anything should happen, and TSM (daily use of Nal with drinking) and my current alcohol dependency would be notified to my GP, almost any other general docto (GP - regular doctor here in the UK) might never trust me again. I feel deeply uncomfortable with this.

Hi 8, boy life is hard enough without having to play games, huh? What kind of doc prescribes the TSM for you? Is it possible to go to that doctor and tell him the situation with your GP and have him talk to the GP for you? Doctors respect other doctors and I don't think he would have prescribed TSM if he didn't believe in it.

Good luck
corkit

Thanks corkit. My TSM doctor is a private one (in the UK the alternative to private doctors is the National Health Service - NHS - which is free). I would have no issue if I had asked him to inform my regular doctor (NHS) what I was doing when I first started TSM (and actually I did request that, but I can assume from consultations with my GP that the TSM doctor never did write to him).

I am too far down the line now. My body is utterly drink-dependent again, and I've lied to my GP so many times now this is really playing on my mind almost all the time.

When do you go to the doctor? I still would try to talk to the TSM doctor and tell him your situation and ask him for advise? Most likely he would give you the best seeing he deals with patients all the time that cover up stuff. We've all done it. Seeing he's on board with TSM he has some better understanding about alcoholism. Give him a try what do you have to lose?

corkit

Thanks corkit but I already know I will get understanding from my TSM doctor (who I see privately). My great concern is if anything should happen to me (accident, hospitalisation for any other reason, however unlikely) that my 'cover' will be blown, and that I'll not only lose the trust of my current GP (who is efficient, and mostly helpful in everything other than alcohol problems) but will be marked down for life as a lying addict.

I guess it's a lose-lose situation for me if such a thing would happen. It's preying on my mind a lot.

Talk to your private doctor and explain the situation. Ask him if he will take a call from your GP - I would be shocked if he wouldn't. Then talk to your GP and put him in touch with your private doctor.

Hi 8
I am sorry to see you distressed about this situation. I can't help noticing that each time someone has presented a possible solution you reject it- two people suggested the same thing- get the private doc to talk to the NHS Doc. This may seem a bit cheeky but your post reads like this issue is becoming a focus for your anxiety just now. sometimes when we are anxious our mind finds a particular focus or issue to obsess about and no matter what rational solutions we are presented with nothing seems to be an answer. i suppose i am a wee bit concerned for you that the relative well being you have experienced in recent times may be slipping. Its kind of hard to tell when i can't see you.
I am familiar with the NHS and in my experience of GP's over the years i have often had more knowledge about my particular condition whatever it might be at the time. IMO your GP was irresponsible in the way he prescribed diazepam and that would make me cautious about trusting him. Seems to me you have a number of options
1. Accept that your instincts in not trusting your GP in the first place were good- BUT you have to accept the possible consequences;and realise the odds of the accident scenario happening are slim. 'The end justifies the means';
2. Discuss your dilemma with the private GP and take his advice;
3. Risk coming clean with your GP
4. Accept that your anxiety level is on the up again and this is just the current focus for it and it will pass.
Meantime mind yourself and keep posting.

8, listen to what 1-4-the-road said. I have found that we worry ourselves sick and a lot of times for nothing. Doctors relate to one another, have the TSM doc talk to your GP or ask him what to do. Like I said what do you have to lose it's going to come out anyways and this way your heading it off. When I asked my GP for Nal and he sort of looked at me as though I was nuts, I asked him could he give me something that had a 70%- 80% success rate? He couldn't so he prescribed Nal. 8, please this is your life we're talking about who cares what he thinks and just be honest with him that he needs to help you. If what you say about him is true and you must like him for a good reason ask him to help you.

corkit