Thankyou so much. What beautiful people you are. It makes me wish that much harder that you all find love and success with TSM and everything else. God and the Universe bless you all! Thanks

Got 83% on financial math exam I wrote this morning. Planted garden and flowers. Got closure from funeral and am moving on now.

I am not sure. But I am sure of the benefits of Tsm. So much is better but here I am 9 months later and I got drunk today and I still took my Nal first and I am wondering why am I drunk?? Shouldn't this be done with? By now. Ok I made a few minor mistakes but still mostly perfect and yet here I am. I find this puzzeling and irritating. to say the least.

Potato,

We seem to be in the same kind of mood tonight. Yet your "slip" tonight seems so understandable, given the circumstances. You are doing much better overall, no? Planting a garden, doing great at the math exam, these things count for a lot. If after 9 months I slip now and again, I'll take that as a win! These days I seem to slip all the time, but still I know that gradually things are getting better.

I was going to go out tonight and really drive those numbers up, but I think I'll just finish my wine and call it a night. We all get down sometimes, and I think Potato is still an inspiration to us all.

Thanks FB. After I wrote that post I got a little fed up with feeling toxic in my body from too many of the wrong foods, stress, occasional smoking and my pattern of drinking so I did something about it. I am on my 7th day AF and on the 6th day of a 15 day colon and organ cleanse from my naturopath. I have been taking the herbs etc. Nothing major and a clay psillium mixture. Eating carefully. etc. the usual. I feel totally awesome though. I needed a cleaning up totally. By the end of 15 days I should feel amazing. The last time I did it was 5 years ago and I felt better for a long time after so this is a nice and much needed break.
Still dreaming of alot of the things I can't have on this. I especially miss coffee!!!. I still feel positive about everything but some days it is a struggle to stay or "get there". Cheers

Gee Tater, don't you know that even people who are NOT alcoholics occasionally get drunk? You're now the proof of it, is all! And you had plenty of reason: ongoing grief over your friend (that comes and goes like the tides, yes?) , relief at being done with the funeral, celebration about the math score and getting your garden in.

Glad you're now doing some good things for y'self!

Hi! Thanks FB and G4M for your responses. I am doing so much better. G4M you were right. It seems my little step back was because of grief and other pressures. I am back to my old self now and since that time I have been af. Today is my first drinks since June 5th. So I was af for 13 days. Didn't have to try either! I wanted to go more days but that is ok. I took my Nal first and am having a couple of beers. All in all, I feel TSM has and is doing wonders for me. If I take a minute to think about what I would have been doing a year ago, it is clear the improvement is massive. Thanks for sticking with me. Losing a good friend to suicide is hard. Not to mention doing difficult courses and everything else at the same time. Wrote another exam this morning and figured I deserve to take it easy for a few hours. I have always been the sort who wants everything to happen yesterday. (results I mean). Patience is tough but I also need to understand that I am human and painful experiences occur in life that as much as I try not to let them affect me, they do. So TSM is slowly saving my life. I was a binge drinker before that used to break ribs , fall down and be filled with shame for things the next day. I have not lived in that world for over 9 months and I am very happy about that. Best wishes and mega good thoughts to you! Back to the homework now. One week left then the final and YAHOO!!! freedom.

Again: you are SUCH an inspiration. Blessin's on ya, over and over again.

Potato, you are a hero.

You hung in there when you had no one who was an example ahead of you and it was so hard to believe it was worth it.

Then we put the pressure on by putting all our hopes on you and pointing to you as a success well before you had your legs under you -- and you still hung in there.

Thanks for your kind encouragement, your compassion, your humanity.

And thanks for always reminding us not to over-think it!