Hi Jaba/all,

Of course I know the group is secret, I use FB a lot and to be part of a secret group next to this forum would be a nice extra. I just need the link for the invitation to be part of it...

People around me know I drink, but only my parents know about the pill and TSM.

Jaba, thanks for asking. I have been part of the forum for some time now, but not Always even active. I used to start two years ago by ordering online, but the pills were taken by the mail and stopped arriving. It used to work, but as I had a lot of stress from working fulltime with a lot of overhours and a lot of activities, I used to take alcohol to sleep and taking it during the night, doesn't help.

I went to my doctor and she got me sleeping pills and after taking them for a while, I was cut of by my doctor cold turkey as well which got me in a lot of trouble (one should need a tapering scheme) and in the end in a burnout, in a big reorganization at work. So sitting at home waiting for a place to reintegrate (they are obliged to give me a place) doesn't help with either feeling better and thus drinking less, as was the case for quite some time.

However, I did enjoy my summer but there have been a lot of bouts of anxiety as well about my future. The double effect the tapering pills and taking the alcohol has on my central nervous system, sleeping patterns and anxiety/panic attacks is taking at some moments all my energy away, I used to be able to do so much and fell from a high mountain of doing things and being happy to sometimes rather stay in bed because it feels better to hide from the world.

I am a fighter though and the diazepam influences my way of coping with things. I still have all the possibilities in the world to overcome this, but the sleeping thing every night... It kills me. So then I take wine again... I don't drink hard liquor or beer, don't like that.

Social drinking is not a problem either, then I just stop when the party stops. But the sleeping part, argh.

Sorry I got into such a long story! Thanks for asking and reading.

Girlamsterdam,

I am so sorry to read about how hard things are going for you. I think sometimes doctors need to get a clue! My sister O.D.ed on pain pills because she had them from 3 different doctors...and just try to get nal. without the doctors here in the US looking at you like you are an addict! I think not being weaned off sleep medicine (or any medicine that is habit forming) is sadistic and I would start looking for a new doctor.

If have to ask where do you live that they took your pills? That would be scary for anyone that is ordering it on line (and I was thinking of doing that if my doctor will not write me a script)!

So, are you still taking the nal. when you drink?

I have anxiety and I used to drink 2+ bottles of wine to get to sleep at night (if you call that sleep...more like passing out), so I know what you mean about having issues with sleep.

I have been using a lot of OTC sleep aid and sleeping time and/or sweet dreams tea to help my anxiety and sleep. It helps most of the time.

I am afraid to try anything like diazepam or prescription sleep aids for the addiction factor. My entire family has addictions and addictive personality and I probably got the worse of it, for I had a heck of a time getting off weed when I smoked it! BUT I do know that diazepam does help with anxiety and alcoholics.

If you are in the US, have you thought about going back to school? I think there are programs that can help with continuing education especially if you lost your job from downsizing. It sounds like a hassle, but it may keep you busy. (again, it is only a suggestion).

I do hope that you continue to post, for it is nice to hear from some of the old timers,

Jaba

P.S. send a pm to Steve, for I believe he is the one that set up the face book page

Hi Jaba,

Thanks for your message! I am lucky that I am still paid for another 9 months and that I can actually follow a study in the mean time (I am/was a marketeer at a bank), but more of a in depth and innovation study about the marketing field (I already had my masters degrees some time ago )

Btw, as you might see from my name, I live in Amsterdam. Dutch package border security is apparently very strict...

I could easily get weed here haha but I have never liked drugs or weed. (Diazepam are also drugs of course, but medication and highly addictive...)

I still do take naltrexone, I have found a new GP who hopefully will give me new prescription for naltrexone (I finally got it from my old GP telling her it was a way to stay abstinent).

I have good chances of finding a new job, my CV is fine, but first I need to find my balanced self again (meaning having to start building up my hours after my burnout period now). Plus the market is getting better and I am just 34 yet... So all will be fine. Thanks for the support!

girlamsterdam - I've PM'd you about how to join the group

forwardthinking & goatmaster - nothing personal, but people use their public Facebook accounts in the group, so there's not the anonymity that there is here & you're pretty new. stick around, get to know us a bit, be part of the community for a while & then you can join

-badger

Girlamsterdam,

I just thought that maybe you had issues finding a job.

You are lucky to have such a good education.

I have been out of the work force for the last 15 (or more lost count) and if anything would happen to my husband or our relationship (not saying it would), I would be going back to school for I never finished my degree. It took me a while to go into college because of my drug use and I even needed to retake classes from high school (I was a big pot head and other things). Before I had the chance to finish my degree I got married and became pregnant to quickly...instead my husband went back for his CPA and MBA. I never went back. Family takes up a lot of time when your husband travels.

I do hope that you can find your balance. I have been there, and it takes time, energy, focus, and determination. And it sounds like you are headed in the right direction.

I do hope you will keep in contact, for I love to hear about how the old timers get along with TSM.

Jaba

Anyone in this thread that was interested in a Facebook group can join this CLOSED group that was recently created.
"Your Choice, Your Recovery"
https://www.facebook.com/groups/livingalifeofchoice/