I too am famous for sticking my foot in my mouth jaba. Maybe it is also possible that both of us are too hard on ourselves and should just worry less about what others think. Do our best to be kind but sort of take the pressure off ourselves if that makes any sense to you. Newlife

Rolling Stones wrote a song about the pill.."Mothers' Little Helper". About half of our mothers cruised through life on it. The rest drank. Diazepam I think.

Steve.

And then there are the mothers, like mine, who did both.

I can say horrible things when I have too much to drink, things I don't even mean, I just say them to be hurtful. In my family growing up, the winner of the argument was the one who a) could hurt the other person the most with his/her words or b) could go the longest without speaking to the other person. I don't understand why I do it, I really don't. I cringe when I think about the hurtful things I have said to people I adore.

I am glad that you had an A/F day with us, Steve. I think that getting out of our comfort zone every now and then keeps us growing and moving forward.

Gee Deena,

Did you grow up in my house...its sounds just like my childhood. I think the only emotions I had growing up was angry and hurt.

Jaba

I am not even going there about growing up - my mum told me that she didn't love me ! But I got over it and mum and I are fine these days ....

Hugs, Maggie x

Maggie, that made me want to cry. My mom and dad treated my unkindly, and were abusive. I didn't feel loved, I always felt like I was a burden. I really don't know which would be worse.

I know as a parent myself you can only do the best you can do and pray to god that you children will forgive your short comings. And it sounds to me you have done just that.

Newlife,

Yes, it does make sense. I am hard on myself and I wish I could stop worrying what people think. I think once you get to a certain age you do stop caring, but I am afraid when I get to that age I will have dementia and all sort of horrible things will come out of my mouth. Or worse I will be trying to pinch the male nurses and ask them to do nasty things with me.

Jaba - it wasn't until I was about 25 that I was actually told that I was not loved - so my childhood was the same as yours in feeling unloved - except my dad loved me - I was his blue eyed daughter ! But mum and I are fine now - we worked through it and I told her I forgave her - she did not do it on purpose and could not help it. We do not choose who we love or not do we? We are great now which is the main thing anyway!

I have got to that age where I have stopped worrying about what people think and do and say pretty much what I want - hubs says I have grown a backbone ! I like it - it is refreshing to be able to NOT worry about others so much - don't get me wrong - I care about others feelings - just do not care what others think of me so much! Jaba - laughed at when you get to this point how you will be - you are funny !! I can imagine you and Steve in the same room - I think I would have tummy ache from laughing !!

Hugs, Maggie x

I am just thankful that someone gets my sense of humor, for it is a little warped. I don't know how many times you, Steve, and Newlife had me rolling of the floor with the banter...anything to make this struggle fun and more interesting!

Jaba

It's NOT funny! My favorite recurring vivid fantasy is being locked in a room with all you lovely, mature, profusely sweating ladies. Not funny at all!
Steve.

Steven,

I am glad you posted, for I was just thinking about you. I do hope you feel better, I hate having a cold. But I have to tell you, you would not like to be near me when I am sweating let along being locked in a room...let me put it to you this way my kids make me hang my work out clothes in the garage away from any door or car...it's that bad