Go, you!!

Oh dear UKB - so sorry with what you are having to go through - it doesn't make the problems that we are trying to handle any easier when there are hiccoughs in the road! I am so pleased though that you do have your partner - I think he is so supportive of you for the most part which really must feel good.

I am so proud of you for doing what you are doing - AL was hard enough - but now to do food when you have a junk food issue - you are showing amazing strength with it though - hang in there my friend !!!

Hugs, Maggie xx

And then we had black Wednesday.

My future plans and world in general came crashing down for about 3 hours this morning. Turns out it's not quite a bad as it looked first thing but with everything else I was really upset.

I got myself to uni and started to recover with the support there (the nature of the course is that we share and support each other).

I've just been on the other forum.............and someone I will admit I was rude to a few days ago has sent me a PM telling me I attack members, and that I'm self-centred.

Not what I wanted to see, but right now I couldn't give a stuff. Just about everything that could make me feel insecure and anxious has happened......

I've been through a difficult day and I haven't drank alcohol, I haven't use any mind altering drugs and I haven't used food. I have cried in front of other people and have shared how I'm feeling and none of it killed me nor made anything worse.

Now back in the boozing days having a drink would seem very logical, err no. Since when would alcohol have solved it?

I did have a controlled junk scoff last night, but I restrained it and was straight back onto the clean food wagon this morning.

Anyway I did get something arranged with uni that will give me more time with my coursework, and that is a huge relief.

UKB ..... I replied on the other forum ...... ((((((hugs)))))) to you .....

Maggie xx

I cannot believe the nerve of someone to PM you on a forum just to diss you!! Ignore them, they are cuckoo!! We are here to support each other, plain and simple. And, UK Blonde, you are one of the most supportive people here, coming back to post when your alcohol problem is long gone!! The very opposite of self centered. I certainly appreciate you. Sorry things have been shaky lately.

Today will be a better day. Hugs to you from Newlife

To be fair I had posted to tell them not to post on a thread I had started.

The member has a habit of spamming and trolling the site with links to all sorts of stuff, ok all linked to alcoholism, but loads and loads of it. I'd put the post up last week and there hadn't been a response until yesterday. They removed their post and when I saw that I removed mine, but they'd already sent the PM.

to be fair, that person is a PITA

sorry you're having a rough time of it. really well done on not drinking/eating on it though

for what it's worth, I think you're extremely supportive & really appreciate you sticking around here to help those of us still on the TSM path

-badger

Ditto for me. Newlife

Had a whoopsie at the weekend and a relapse with a particular behaviour around food.

For the last week I haven't used Selincro when eating chocolate and junk food, this is because I couldn't face the side effects. I have tried cutting the dose but the pills are tiny, and I don't then feel I feel enough effect from it.

I could feel myself getting the old cravings back.

So I either stop binging or use the Selincro again. It's a clear choice.

Other things I wanted to say are that I am increasing frustrated by the posts my several members here. I can see that they are adhering to the TSM protocol and have sometimes seen a change, however they continue to drink more than they want to and more than is healthy for them.

It feels as if the pill is being popped and the person is sitting back waiting for a miracle to happen.

TSM was a miracle for me but I was highly motivated. I wanted my life back, I wanted to live. To put that into perspective prior to that I had wanted to die for a long time and had attempted suicide a few times. I wanted to die because I couldn't beat alcoholism, my drinking was horrendous and I wanted it removed before I ended up in a completely unacceptable state. I had even looked at Swiss suicide clinics.

Early in 2010 I awoke one morning and decided that I wanted to live. I decided I would do whatever it took to break the alcoholism. After a few false starts I went AF for almost 6 months, before relapsing again. I then tried baclofen, I then went to see Dr Chick and we decided between us that I would start TSM. I was so desperate I applied every thing I knew about recovery and had found helpful during the AF period to my quest and it worked.

It wasn't easy and there's been loads of stress and strain on the way. Shortly after 'cure' point, still drinking small amounts, I was the target of a serious crime. It was a really difficult time but I knew that I had to carry on.

With alcohol out of the equation I have a better chance, a much better chance of dealing with life. The same goes for the food behaviours, I went back to feeling detached at the weekend and I have hated it.

UKBlonde - thank you for that post - you have had SO much happen to you in your life and are doing so well - I am beginning to understand the thing about not just taking the pill and sitting back and letting things happen - I know that I have to do my bit - but it was easy to just assume the other way! It is only as I am this far in that I am realising what you say - and the Nal does make it easier to do AF days - albeit with the AB but taking 1/8 tab is probably neither here nor there - it is obviously the psychological thing because I have no trouble being AF on those days - and it is easier since starting Nal.

I was wondering if the Nal would help you rather than the Selincro re the food? Why did you change to Selincro? Does the Nal not work the same with the food issues? You didn't have the wicked SE's with the Nal did you ? This is probably a daft question, but have you tried the Nal with the food ? I hate that your SE's are so wicked - re the cutting of the pill - I bought a really neat little gadget to split my AB with and it cuts it really well, rather than using a knife - see if you can get one there - if not let me know and I will bring one the same as mine with me so can post it to you when I get to UK.

Really feel for you right now - you seem so strong and have been through so much. To me, to have sorted the AL was amazing and I have every faith that you will sort the food issue too!

Thank you so much once again for your insight into TSM and what we need to do - you know from what I have said before how much it helps - it is almost like being told off for not doing something right - but in a nice way! But I do think it is what we need !!

Have a great day, Hugs, Maggie xx