Gee houtx, what do you really think?

But I agree. Have you ever read The Disease to Please, by Harriet Braiker? I did, several years ago when a number of people were taking advantage of my over-accommodating nature. It did me a world of good, and led to my not only appropriately standing up for myself, but to getting a number of toxic people out of my life altogether. I highly recommend this book!

Lena, I definitely think you're onto something. She was so warm and compassionate when I first started treatment with her, and now I think she's taking that incident as a perceived character flaw. The last person I need judgement from is my shrink!!

Goin, heard of the book, never read it. Ya think I could finally tell someone other than my husband to f off if I read it?

I have another book. You will feel you are reading an autobiography. It's called "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men", by Dr. Lundy Bancroft.

Abusive men have an uncanny knack for enlisting the sympathy of the wife's therapist/family/friends. It's a major part of the dynamic. Dr. Bancroft says abused spouses should never be in couples' therapy. Your own psychiatrist has shown he cannot be trusted to remain immune from your husband's manipulation.

Your instincts are right on this; it comes through between the lines of what you write. You know you called the police for a reason that night. You know the police were maniputated by your husband into degrading and humiliating you. You know couples' counseling is just more ganging up on you. You know your own psychiatrist has been manipulated and the bond of trust there is beyond repair. You know that your alcohol addiction is being exploited by your husband to further degrade you and to enlist others to do the same.

Yes, your instincts are right, but you need to continue assembling your own team. You are up against a determined opponent in your husband. We are here for you, but you need and deserve more. PLEASE look for your local spouse abuse agency. They can help not only with counseling but with finding a psychiatrist who recognizes and deals properly with abuse issues.

You deserve better than you are getting. Thank God you have found an answer to your alcohol addiction that treats you with the dignity you deserve. You are entitled to professional support for your other issues that recognizes that same entitlement to your dignity.

OMG Lena! I have that book too - and it was a major point in helping me to really understand that I wasn't the problem in our marriage, HE was. Manipulators are so incredibly sly and deceptive, they actually get you to believing their version of the story (whatever the current 'story' is), and keep you continually off balance mentally and emotionally. They isolate you from your friends and family, and enlist them in the effort to make you seem like the bad guy. They drive you absolutely up the wall, and then when you finally crack and tell them to f-off, guess who is the 'victim.' (Not you!) While they

When I read hoping's posts I get the exact message you do - between the lines. It's like smelling a familiar bad wind. . .

Guess you've been there too, eh Lena?

Hi!
I'm new on this site and haven't even started the program yet (I can't wait) but after Dr. E's book it (and I hate to say this) felt right. What really pissed me off was that the cure has been appproved by the FDA since 1994. All I could think was do you mean to tell me I could have maybe gotten my like back in 1994? when I was oooh so much younger?

I heard about this from a friend (an alkie) who went the traditional root (ditched AA along the way) and is doing well. I asked her how she got sober and went through the whole, sad experience. She called me a few days later and told me about something she thought was called the Sinclair something. Thank God for her and Google!

Anyway, I'm sorry for going off topic. The reason I wanted to put my two cents in here was because if this works, if this is working FOR YOU, how could you possibly pay attention to anyone else? YOU KNOW YOU. If you are steadily, if not super quickly, DRINKING LESS, BE happy, Happy.

I don't really have a doctor to go to and Ive been thinking of just ordering the Nal online. After this thread, I think that's what I going to do. I don't need anyone telling me this isn't going to work. I'll give a try because MY LIFE IS NOT WORKING and I won't be able to not drink anyway. I haven't been able to not drink for 40 years!

Hang in there (how 70s, sorry) everybody.

One more thought: how do we make this treatment viral? How many people are out there suffering with no clue that there may be something to really help instead of just saying "No"?

Sorry about the CAPS and the mini tirade.

Lucy D

Goin,' God, I hate to think that my posts cause your nose to wrinkle in digust!

Seriously, this is weird. I already have that book! And, yeah, it does feel disturbingly autobiographical at times.

Practically speaking, though, I can't leave right now, even if I wanted to. I need to get my drinking under control, or he would use it against me in court to seek sole custody of our 3-yr-old (even though he works six days a week and our son spends 90% of his time with me). I also need to get financially independent -- I haven't worked at a "real" job since before my triplets were born. That was 1997. I was an advertising copywriter back then, but I've since written some freelance articles for a national magazine. Just don't have the time to do it right now.

I'd get nothing if we divorced, according to our prenup. You may wonder why I was stupid enough to sign such a thing, but I was pregnant, we were on our way to the airport to get married in Vegas, and it was just after Katrina hit. And he so lovingly explained it was for "both" of our protection.

So, this will all take some time. Right now, I have to concentrate on TSM. My husband blames all of our problems on my drinking, so I'm quite sure when my addiction ends, everything will be just perfect!

Thanks for the insight. You have read between the lines correctly...and I didn't even realize I was writing them.

I share your outrage LD. 1994 was about the time I began to cross the line from weekend partier to borderline alcoholic. So there was help for me fifteen years ago, but who would know it? And fifteen years later I have to FIGHT with my own doctor to get the prescription, which is, quite frankly, saving my life. And now, despite the studies, and despite the overwhelming success of we guinea pigs on this board (who have no choice but to bond together for support because the medical community charged with helping us has their collective heads up their asses), 99.99% of the treatment community won't prescribe naltrexone while drinking. And why? Because AA -- the standard treatment and only option given to literally millions -- is such a success? NO, IT'S AN UNQUALIFIED FAILURE BY EVERY IMAGINABLE MEASURE, with its hapless 5% success rate (lower than spontaneous recovery rates for those who quit with no treatment). AA doesn't even publish its success rate anymore because it is so embarrassingly abysmal. AND, just wait until after a few weeks on nal and you are a completely different drinker -- no longer embarrassing yourself, or waking up hungover day after day, or blacking out conversations, and exercising control you never dreamed possible -- then you'll really be pissed-off that NO ONE told you about this drug!! I share your anger, can you tell? It's an outrage and I will be dedicating a good portion of my energy for the balance of my years telling everyone and anyone who will listen that millions of alkies are needlessly suffering right now because there is a cure for alcoholism that is being COMPLETELY DISREGARDED by the medical community that claims to care about our well-being.

Welcome!

Signed,

I'm Mad as Hell and I Can't Take it Anymore

Hey, MadAsHell,

Wondering where you got your stats on AA's "success" rate? I would love to have those in my hand.

I share your outrage at the medical community. It has to be the money rehab clinics are making -- you know there's much to be made, especially when you're facility gets People magazine coverage for treating the drug/alcohol-dependent star of the week.

For a simply SCATHING review of AA, go here:

http://www.orange-papers.org/

Minnie Mad,

So glad someone shares my rage. Ive been thinking about this for days - I think it's time for me to let it go; however, look what Twitter did for Iran. Does anyone have any suggestions for the word out about this treatment? I'm not that familiar with Twitter but I think I'm going to try to get something going.

So glad I found this site.

Thanks for the welcome.

Lucy D