I spend more time lurking and reading than posting. I do the same thing on MWO. In the beginning, when I first joined MWO I read every post I could find. I needed that to keep me inspired to either not drink or to find something that would work for me. Fighting this is a FULLtime job. If your not drinking your fighting fulltime not to, and if you are it's fulltime trying to find an answer.

I have limited myself to the amount of time I can spend on both boards and now I spend most of my time checking updates on this site because this is where I'm "like minded" with everyone. I jump over to MWO and check one or 2 threads, but I don't read all of them like I used to. In the beginning I wanted to be like them and just have AF days and felt guilty everytime I failed. No one over there made me feel bad when I hit a pothole. Everytime I read "just starting out" I knew what they felt and how scared they were. MWO lead me here and TSM has lead me to hope.

I would hope that after 6 months I will continue to come here and post my progress because I owe it to the people behind me to let them know it works, just like the people do who went before me.

I will still drink and take my NAL for the rest of my life, but I will remind myself that had I not come here and people had not encouraged me I would not have taken this journey. Beside, like AA, SMART and every other group the best way to remain on the right course is to see someone just starting, it makes you remember where you've been.

I am sad that people have left the board (but I can see them over at MWO). It's one thing if you lose interest after you have made it all the way to 4/6 months, and you are "cured", but during the program? I feel let down by that. They were a lot of the reason I came here, they gave me insight to what to expect, and sometimes when I did post they answered when I had doubts. This is not something people can do alone and when they thought TSM board was a good idea, they made a commitment to the community. One of the reason I don't put faith in MWO is because Roberta never posts on her progress. The only thing Roberta has posted this year was a reminder not to sell drugs on the board. But I do have faith in the people who continue to keep it going. They should be getting free supplements or something for doing Roberta's job.

I'm sorry that RR left even though I did question his motives or interest in us but I did think he wanted to help, I just think he should have not come on so strong and bold. I think he needed to understand that he can walk away from this anytime he wants and we battle it everyday. This is not a hobby or interest for me, this is my life. I know that he had an account on MWO and posted over there as well (mythobeast). I just had a feeling that he would just bored with this and move on, and if you were counting on him to continue to give advice and research you would have been let down, people tend to get bored when the "thrill" is gone. On the other hand, who knows, maybe he has a friend, parent, sibling or wife that is like us and he is on a quest to help them, much like sinclair himself did.

Just my very long winded 2cents

Hi Providence,

I see you managed to have an AF day in your first week. Isn't that a grand feeling, tho? I got one into week two (I think it was), but haven't managed to do it again. I'm really, really going to give it a shot tonight, tho. Wish me luck! At the very least I'm going to set a goal of not exceeding 6 drinks per night - I'm quite sure I can do that successfully, and I want to begin to form new habits. I'm actually debating on not buying any wine this week, and perhaps getting some vodka/tonic/lemon. I never, ever drink these, but tasted my sister's last week, and it tasted OK. I'm wondering if I drink something other than my usual poison if it won't be easier to slow down. I really LOVE the taste, and effect, of wine. So it seems as if I might do better to stay away from it most of the time.

We'll see, eh?

Hi Providence, I decided the same thing and switched to Vodka yesterday and drank much more than I have with the wine I usually drink. I don't know why and am worried since I feel terrible today.

Sorry the last post was for going4more!

G4M,

Don't switch it doesn't work trust me. Since Vodka is a higher alcohol content than wine, I feel you will only make it worse. I think you should stick to your old standard. I'm a wine drinker too mine is 9.5% per volume so I don't think I can handle something in the 40% per volume because I over pour and would pass out sooner.

If you drink white, blush or white zen add ice (which I do) it seems to slow me down more, but really I don't have the same pull to drink until I pass out, I find I drink slower. Everyonce in awhile I think my brain gives me permission to push the limits because I'm on Nal and I have to talk myself out of that. Now, I just remember to let it take it's natural course.

I drink only reds like Cabernet and am having other heath issues with them and thus the change.
Rosacea is a problem and weight gain due to the sugar content, etc. That is the reason for switching. Other than the alcohol I am a very healthy individual so far and it is a stretch at this point. I am not a kid! SSI is just around the corner!

Like I've said previously, I think RR & Marbella are just taking a much-needed hiatus. It's hard to keep up with MWO & this one. Meantime, there are others of us who are still here. Don't be discouraged. I am confident they will return :-)

Houtx did you mean RR or SR there

LOL - My B!! I meant SR/SpringerRider :-)

Come back Come back wherever you are!!!