Awwww - that's so weird, isn't it?! Don't suppose he'd be up to hearing about this? ACK - sorry but hope it works out!

...

life is filled with lessons. I have been, I assume given one. It it is saying i am not ready for love for some reason. I cannot figure out why cause I want it. I am ready. Lets go.

Hey Tater -- You deserve to be happy. Your generous spirit is always concerned with the happiness of others.

Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate them. I am getting better everyday but that was a brutal awakening to the dangers of going into things with honesty and an open heart. I must pay attention to what is going on in someone's life but I got "all caught up" in the situation. It was like going from zero to a hundred miles an hour then back to zero. Now I am struggling to get back to the strong person I was before I met him. One thing I am happy about is at least I learned I am capable of that emotion. Thanks again and all the best.

Oh yeah I guess I should mention that is has been over for two weeks. He said he was not ready for a serious relationship just yet and although I have to agree it does not make my heart feel any better. Live and learn I suppose. Yuk. Sleeping through a night is difficult now and I can't concentrate but hopefully these things will improve soon. All the best to you. AF tho and that is good.

A broken heart is a terrible thing on its own: pouring alcohol into a broken heart makes the excruciating pain even more excruciating. It's so great you are not drinking during this time.

Oh I have had nights with al after this but fortunately I have taken 3 day breaks which I was on when I wrote that last message. It is ok. I am taking my Nal as I should. I trust things will improve. Thanks, Houtx, Lena, Art, Loop and Minneapolis. You are such great supports. I wish you all the best.

Someone said something to me today that has made a world of difference. This person was drunk and I was not but it rings true regardless. I had been a pretentious ass for a few weeks and she said look, stop judging others for where they used to be because you were there once too. I woke up! I realized that no matter where I am and how healthy or unhealthy I get people need me to care. I think I lost that somewhere along the way but I see it now. I
feel so happy again that I got that message. It isn't that I ever lost it completely but I got it burned in my brain again.
So if anyone has any questions bring it on. Because I care. I should always try to keep it real.