PS. I love this forum. There is no-one in real life that I can talk to about TSM, but I'm so glad I can come here and be understood

yeah I did it too when I had a brief lapse in insurance. it was for about a 4 or 5 days. and I've slipped a couple times before that. I can definitely tell I am regressing when I do it. I don't recommend it. I've been on TSM nearly a year and don't claim to be cured, but have seen definite improvement and I don't want to go back to where I was.

Take the pill Gwyneth, you know the alternative is a miserable life. Not worth any "warm glow." Follow that rule. We are rooting for you.

My best,

Nick

I haven't been on this board in a long time, but thought this was a helpful and interesting discussion. I used Nal as a safety net to get sober, and haven't had a drink in more than a year now. I considered Nal a way to help me bridge the gap until I could stop drinking altogether. I never liked the way I felt taking it, and I was heartily glad to stop taking it as soon as it felt somewhat safe (about 3 or 4 months for me). Truthfully, between the initial honeymoon effect and the knowledge that I wouldn't be getting the "warm glow" discussed above even if I did drink, I only tried drinking once or twice after taking Nal, and only in the very early days.

This is not a criticism of anyone or any method - I am very much in favor of whatever works for people. Speaking purely for myself, though, the whole "rewiring" process cure sounded as bad as than the disease. I am still dealing with occasional cravings, but I certainly don't miss how sick I felt as an active drunk. For me, it just wasn't worth taking a strong narcotic as a trade off for being able to drink from time to time. Just offering my 2 cents as someone who has used Nal and was happy with the results. Here's wishing everyone success, however they chose to fight the battle.

Also, in case anyone is wondering, I am definitely not miserable. I've lost 80 pounds, I run four times a week, and have generally had a banner year. I find that the endorphins and stress release I get from running is a pretty good replacement for alcohol, and has been very key to my happiness this year.

Awesome Groucho! Can we put you on the cured/regained control list! I totally agree with you about running. I did it before, during and after regaining control and it is a key aspect of my health and happiness.

Running was doing great for me and i was abstinent for about 3 weeks until I sprained my ankle and since have spiralled with drinking out of control. Its my first day on Nal -- I am so anxious

I wish there was a chat feature on here.

Look after yourself alexan and report back to us about how it goes - a weekly thread update is a really good way to keep in touch and monitor your own progress. For example, I am really surprised to read over my posts from around Christmas 2010 and New Years and realise that I had regained so much control around drinking and had barely any cravings at all. If only I had kept that up!

I am a little scared right now to be truthful. I have been on and off NAL for the past 3 or so months and I'm worried that I'm really screwing with my brain chemistry on some level that may be permanently damaging. I don't even know if that's a rational fear to have. I discovered Nal a couple years back when my GP prescribed it along with abstinence, which is how I took it for a few months, so I feel (maybe illogically) as though that episode adds something to the chemical mix that may not be entirely helpful.

When I do take Nal, and wait the required hour, I find it quite powerful. Earlier this week, wine tasted particularly uninviting, and drinking at home held almost no appeal. The main side effects I get these days are insomnia and godawful hangovers if I drink more than about 2 units. But then a day like yesterday will come along, when I'm 15 mins away from the bar and it occurs to me I haven't taken a pill, and I'll just think "F-k it, I'll just drink without it." Which I proceed to do, with that full-on commitment to excess and endurance that reminds me, wow, hey, drinking is actually a major problem for me. The exact motivation for the decision is something like this: NAL helps me to drink slowly, practise control and leave the party early --> I don't know that I really want to do that right now --> I will drink without it. QED!?

A psychologist told me once that it's like I have 2 voices or selfs. One that occupies my mind 90% of the time: the rational, reality-focused one that knows my drinking is problematic, and does things like seek therapy, take NAL, visit these boards, avoid bars and is generally helpful rather than destructive. The other voice is the "f-k it" voice, the one that says, who cares about the consequences, I want to escape, I want to have fun, I want to get out of my head, let's drink NOW. The problem with deciding to take NAL so close to drinking time, is that it's usually the 2nd voice that's more prominent in my head by then, and I just can't trust that one to do the right thing. Perhaps it will help if I take the NAL much earlier (say, lunchtime) when I'm still in 'rational mode'. Okay, I am sounding like a serious mental case here, but whatever.

I think part of it is a self-defeating and unreasonable feeling that I have been 'scammed' into believing my life will be perfect once my drinking is under control. The only person who sold me that lie was myself. I have the lifestyle of a drunk but fixing that will not miraculously make my job more meaningful, bring my family closer, nor end my unsatisfying romantic relationship. I have to do all that myself, dammit. And I have to start valuing the rewards of sobriety (or moderation) on their own merits: a clear mind, a healthy, well-rested body, a sense of self-esteem and waking up filled with wellbeing rather than dread. Surely those things are enough?

I'm going to post this on my update thread as well, as that's what it seems to have become... once again blathering on too long but, geez, it helps. So grateful for these boards.