Well - I'm now 1 year and 10 months in with TSM - have been totally compliant, but if anything I am slipping backwards. At around the 14 month mark, I started to have a few AF days a week. Now for some reason the cravings have come back and I haven't managed an AF day in months. My drinking has also increased - I had reduced down to a bottle of wine - now I can seem to stop and am back up to 2 a night.

I feel so depressed - I also actually feel like I'm dying. I feel sick and unwell. I've just had enough of this terrible addictive journey. I really hoped so much that TSM would work for me, but it's just not happening. I read about people upping their dose - but I'm taking Selincro so I don't think that it is possible.

Is it time to give up?

Hey Snap, No, No, No hang in there!!!!
I am still at it and must say that I think my drinking has increased too and have gained 10 lbs and am looking old, ughh!
I am having AF days a bit easier but it is because I feel so sick and unwell too. I'm not sure it has been good for me to be taking Nal since October 14th 2014 with a 3 month pause due to no Nal but come hell or high water I am sticking with it cause there is NOTHING else out there for me.
I think I am going to try upping my dose to 75mg like Melissa just did. Is there anyway you can get Naltrexone, Naltima or Revia and upp your dose too? PM me anytime if you just want to talk cause I am in the same boat as you but we just have to keep with it!
hugs
Nal ON

Snap -

I responded to your post on OSL as well, but just wanted to add in that you may want to see about getting some Naltrexone, as it does work a bit differently than Selincro. I know it would be an expense, but if it cut your drinking, it may well pay for itself. It's easier to adjust the dose of Naltrexone too, as you can cut the pills.

Was there any change in your meds or any supplements you'd been taking about the time your drinking started going back up?

Hi Snap,

I am so sorry you are feeling so horrible. I can really relate to you, and I hope you don't give up! I am just starting week 52 and only a few days ago I upped my Nal dose to 75mg. Throughout the entire previous 51 weeks NOTHING had happened for me - aside from a 2 week honeymoon period, my drinking returned right back to normal and stayed that way. And there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. No matter how much I wanted to be "mindful" or start drinking later or whatever, when those cravings hit it was like a brick wall. And I was such a total b*tch to everyone around me when I was trying to cut back that it seemed that it just wasn't worth it. Now I'm upping the dose and I feel like I can finally breathe - like trying to start later, drink less, etc. won't kill me! I know you are taking something different and I am in no way qualified to give any advice anyway...but I just want you to know I hear you, and I really do understand your incredible pain, and you aren't alone. (((HUGS)))

Thanks everyone for your support. It's just so depressing. I suppose a lot of it is my own fault - I thought I could just take a pill and this horrible addiction would simply go away. Joanna (options saves lives) talked about mindfulness - this is something a lot of people talk about, but I don't think I really understood what it meant.

Does anyone know if it is possible to get Naltrexone in the UK? The online pharmacy I use to get Selincro doesn't offer it.

I've been thinking a lot in the last couple of days and I wonder if I managed to get a month AF under my belt and then continue with TSM whether it would kick start things. I know it will be really hard but I might give it a go.

Cheeto - we both started TSM at the same time - I know what you mean about feeling old and horrible. I turned 50 a few weeks ago and promised myself I would turn over a new leaf. I'm so worried that I won't live much longer if I carry on the way I am.

Naltrexone is available on All Day Chemist at http://www.alldaychemist.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=Naltrexone.

Although there seems to be some insecurity to this website so be careful.

Hormonal status can have an effect too, you might need to bump the dose up to compensate. I've read where people cut the Selincro in half, then put it in a gel cap, so that's a possibility too.

Mindfulness is mainly summoning the conscious mind to be present, as the unconscious part of the brain (where addiction happens) so often gets the job of handling stressful events that the conscious part of the brain doesn't handle. It's all fairly automatic and you often don't notice the handoff to the unconscious part of the brain. So it's kind of a case of "Yes, do pay attention to that man behind the curtain". One of the ways you can do this is to journal what you're feeling as you move from one drink to the other, sipping the drink and noticing how you feel along the way, slowing things down and really paying attention. Some of the methods I've used are to delay the start time, take a sip of the drink then put it back in the fridge (or just away and out of your sight), then get up to some quick task and see how long it is till you're moved to retrieve the drink. Also how you feel and what's real for you when you're moved to retrieve the drink.

Do review your meds and what's going on with your body wrt hormones.

What's your longest time AF prior to TSM? Could this just be you're brain's last attempt to reach out for it's "old pal"?

From what I understand Selincro has a longer half life then Naltrexone and as such should be taken 2 hours prior to drinking. I also seem to remember that the clinical trials were all done with Naltrexone so it might be best to try and get some of that. Are you still recording your drinking each day? I think recording and taking notes is an of itself a sort of mindfullness. When you record and keep track you actually see whats going on and that can help you decide to slow down.

Also ask yourself this question, even though you may have noticed that your drinking level has gone up is it any worse then it was prior to TSM? IF not then something is working and you are better off not quitting.

I don't think there should be a concern with ADC. Many of us use them and I have NEVER had a problem. Someone reported a problem in 2011 but it was because there site was hacked.

Please don't give up!! There are other threads that will show you that people have taken two years and longer!! What do you have to lose by getting some Nal and taking the pill? TRY IT!~

We are here for you.

xoxo Newlife

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