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Alice, You sound desperate to quit and frustrated. As St. Paul once said, "I do the things that I hate, so I hate what I do." Isn't alcohol funny like that -- we do it because we love it, yet we hate it! As I said in a previous post, I find it interesting that 100% of rats are cured within about five doses of Naltrexone, but humans aren't because we can use our higher brain power to override the effects of Naltrexone -- depression, rebelliousness, self-defeating thoughts, and hundreds of excuses! I think some people also don't WANT to get better because it means either they have to deal with what they're hiding from, or because they'll have more pressure to succeed in life and to become a more stellar person.
But, still, as far as the Sinclair Method goes, you are definitely not right to be despairing so early. As long as you stick to the golden rule of Naltrexone+An Hour+Drinking= Cure, you should be positive about success. Even if you're first drink is an hour after waking up and you're doing all sorts of twisted sh*t while drinking. . .Even if you hate yourself while drinking. . .Even if you have no hope that you'll ever quit... For a good % of people it will work. I've been lucky enough to feel what "the cure" is like (though I'm not declaring myself cured quite yet). Trust me...it's easy. Picture this... You don't wake up each morning wondering if you're going to shoot heroin each day (I hope), nor think about heroin throughout the day, nor wonder how you will ever live without heroin. If you stick with the Sinclair Method, you're likely to one day feel the same about alcohol. It slowly loses its grip on your mind and you will wonder how you ever were so obsessed with it in the first place.
A tip: Naltrexone is not magic and is just a tool. Along with your will and your inner strength, it will make quitting your dysfunctional drinking habits SOOOOOOO much easier and less painful. But, you still have to do something. What I found helpful was to put a 30 minute distance between my first and second drink. It really isn't that hard. In the past, I would down four shots of vodka within 5 minutes which quickly raises your blood alcohol level and, with Naltrexone, can make the knucklehead part of our brains (which gets you into trouble), have too much power over Naltrexone (yes, you aren't getting an endorphin rush, but you're drunk enough that judgment is greatly diminished; perhaps you suffer from depression and the alcohol just make you more depressed, which makes you loathe yourself, which triggers MORE drinking and more depression, on and on, until you pass out!).
Keep us updated!
_________________ Barry Pre TSM 25-40 drinks per week, every night off, compulsively,secretly,lots of risky behavior Wk Count: 11, 4, 4, 2, 7.5, 2.5,2,2 Cured 0,0,0,0, 0.5, 1.5, 1, 0, 1, 2, 0.5,0,0,8,2,32,3,0,2,5,10,5,9,7,0 Peace Out!
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