Hello,
I've not been around since Jan., needed to break the routine of being on the computer every night drinking while reading (and occasionally writing) on the forums! But thought I'd pop in to update what's going on in my life.
Back in Feb. and part of March I managed a whole 3 weeks AF in a row. Had plenty of nal and was quite pleased with myself. I can no longer recall the trigger that got me started again but I decided to order more nal because I got an email from River stating they lowered their prices, wonderful! So I ordered a 3 month supply. When the shipment didn't arrive about a few days after the last date in the 3 - 5 window time of delivery I emailed them and got a reply they would resend it as they thought it had been in customs for too long. As you might have figured out, I ran out of nal and had been drinking without it for maybe 2 - 3 weeks (I'm not really sure anymore, I was so distressed). In the meantime I got a letter from the FDA that they were going to confiscate the shipment unless I came into their office to claim it (they are in CA, I am not). The reasons being (I'm writing this from memory as I don't have the letter with me at the moment), no prescription, no label stating where the shipment was from, not a recognized drug and perhaps a few more reasons. But they told me to rest assured that I was not in any trouble. Right..... now my name and address are floating around in their database somewhere with some big red flag on it. I wrote to River and they told me not to worry about it or to contact the FDA (I did have their email) as this happens about 1% of the time. I did receive my resent shipment from River, looking exactly as all my others that I ordered from them (it comes from India). But I got yet another letter from the FDA telling me I didn't need to take any action they would destroy the shipment they were holding. Now I'm afraid to order from River or anyone! Talk about a trigger into alcohol overload! But I didn't. Nothing has really changed, I don't feel I've improved much but also I didn't really backslide, the same 2 bottles of wine every night. Although now that I'm back on the nal for maybe 6 - 8 weeks, I do find I get quite sleepy after the first bottle, not really buzzed, not really drunk, somewhere in between. But do I stop? NO! But I did have 2 AF nights last week and I felt great, didn't miss it, but I remember feeling anxious.
This past Monday I had an appointment with my doctor (the first since my telling her about nal last August, if any of you remember she was totally against TSM). It was for a ganglion cyst on my wrist. She was behind so she was hurrying along and just casually said to me " and what about that thing we talked about last summer"? I was quite surprised she addressed my alcohol addiction as 'that thing' since she made such a horrible stink about it last time I saw her and made me feel just very horrible. But anyway I told her I was doing great, I didn't have much time to do it (why say drink when it's just 'that thing'?)
that I was quite busy with my on-line store, shoved a business card in her face and told her to visit it and she'd see how much time and effort it takes. I'll see her in August again for my annual exam and I will continue to tell her I'm doing great (maybe by then I will be better!) I don't find her a great support and had thought of changing pcp's but that means choosing a different insurance plan that would cost me $140 more a month than I pay now. So....
Sorry for the long babble! I hope everyone is doing well, and I'll try not to disappear for long periods again!
-petal
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