hallo everyone who tried to help you. just here to say a miracle has happened for me, that the doctor who wrote the book, Dr Roy Eskala, is currently in South Africa. I got, through all your links and advice together with the moderationmovement group's help through to cthreefoundation and they got me in contact with the doctor, so it IS available in South Africa! I asked my friend to prescribe for me (it was quite embarrassing!) but now I got my pills on their way. in the mean time I'm going to educate myself with the book you all recommend and then my journey can start, well actually it already started. just want to say thank you for everyone's kind words and practical advice.
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