Not to sound like a broken record, but time and patient is what needed.
I had to play mind tricks on myself to feel things kick in (or it just could have been the time on nal). I would start to feel anxious around 5pm if I hadn't taken my pill (my brain knew I had to wait that hour), so I would delay in taking it (but still waiting that hour) until I got to 7-8 PM. Then I waited longer than that hour, so at first it was 1 hour and 15 minutes...until I got up to 2 hours or so. And then one night I had taken my pill between 7-8 pm and here it was 10 pm and I realized I didn't have a drink yet and didn't want it. So poured that drink and thought this was crazy I needed an AF day.
I would drink water in between those sips of alcohol and drink a lot of water before I started drinking, for a lot of times I was just thirsty.
These things might help you, or you may have to find mind games to get your brain into the realization that you have control over the alcohol and not the other way around.
forwardthinking wrote:
i just drink through the not wanting to drink until i am enjoying to drink. am i destroying this for myself?
No, you are not destroying yourself. Your brain is refusing to believe that "buzz" or "ah" moment isn't going to come, so it tricks you into drinking more...but that "ah" moment doesn't come, but you still get drunk. I did that until over drinking caused nal overs, and then I started cutting back on my intake (I thought I was going to die with those nal overs), and once I started cutting back something clicked in my brain.
Just give yourself more time. And try to be nicer to yourself, for your desire is down and that speaks volumes! The rest will follow.
Jaba