Hello everyone.

I'm new here, and about to embark on my TSM journey. I hope to learn as much as possible here!

My story:

After finding out about The Sinclair Method about a year ago, and subsequently reading, watching, and researching anything I could find on the subject, I've finally taken the plunge.

My history with alcohol began from the moment it crossed my lips at 14, at a new years party, where me and the other teens made a game out of swiping pre-poured champagne in plastic cups. I remember instantly loving the sensation of getting drunk--as if fireworks were exploding in my brain.

In any case, I am a binge drinker; I have a faulty switch. Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't. Fortunately, I don't drink every day, but I have spent countless Saturdays or Sundays, and sometimes middle of the week days, absolutely incapacitated from the previous nights binge. I've known it's a problem for a long, long time. I've gone to AA a handful of times, but I'm philosophically incompatible with 12 step programs--I tried to embrace it, but in the end It just wasn't right for me.

The association I have with Alcohol, "Alcohol=fun" is really powerful. I grew up in a rock'n roll culture in the 80's, where partying and binge drinking was just the norm. I thought I would eventually grow out of my party persona, as I'm pretty sure it's way past the pull date. Every time I'd embark on another attempt at sobriety, I'd experience intense discomfort and even panic at the thought of "never drinking again." I had constant drinking dreams. I once dreamt I was on a beach in Hawaii. Picnic tables stretched as far as the eye could see, and each table people sat sipping glowing pints of amber colored beer-- and I wasn't allowed to have any of it. All I could do, was stare woefully, and pine for a pint. Eventually, around the 2 month mark, the discomfort and dissonance would get to be too great, and that's when I'd finally cave. The mental relief after the first sip, was always instantaneous.

This cycle has been repeating itself for some time. I bounce back and forth between the mountain biking, snowboarding, gym going, fitness junkie "me"; and the beer guzzling, social smoking, party loving, severely hungover "me," and they are incompatible. It's time for the latter me to get the boot. And, last but certainly not least, I have an awesome son and husband to think about.

So, back to the now: I sought out a TSM friendly doc in my area, and I've got my prescription. I have to say, I'm kind of nervous! I don't know why! Even though I know that I don't have to be abstinent, part of me is scared that I will "never enjoy alcohol again," and the other part of me is exited and intrigued to go on this journey of gaining control over alcohol. I'm imagining that it's probably normal to experience some ambivalence in the beginning?

Also, I would love to hear any and all tips for me and or suggestions; things to think about, or be aware of, etc.

Cheers, and I'll post again when I've officially started! I don't think I'll be drinking until tomorrow night, so I'll post again after that.

(Sorry if this post is a bit random, or rambly--I'm sleep deprived

Gillian...Regarding TSM, you've read, watched, and researched. What a precious gift you've given yourself, husband, and son by so doing. You're ready. Best wishes and best regards......r/Mark

Welcome, Gillian!

You might want to start out with a half dose (the insert that came with the meds may mention this) for the first few days. If you take it on top of a meal and drink plenty of water throughout the evening, that will help you get past the side effects (whatever they are for you, if you get any at all). When you feel the side effects are tolerable, bump up to the regular dose.

TSM is a rollercoaster, as many here have said. Your drinking levels will go up and down as the addicted part of your brain gives up, fights back, gives up, etc. People often get an initial drop when starting TSM (the "Honeymoon"), then a rebound. That continues throughout TSM, but seems to be most pronounced at the beginning. Have a look at the graph on this page, it's only a 4 month graph and most people take 6-12 months with TSM, but it will give you an idea of what I'm talking about:

https://www.buffalorising.com/2017/08/d ... elf-sober/

Some people don't get the initial reduction and it may take 2-3 months before they suddenly lop off 40% or so of their drinking.

Carry some Nal with you wherever you go, in a little foil in your purse or a keychain pill holder. When you haven't taken the pill for a day or two, your opioid receptors will be primed for an endorphin hit and you want to avoid unprotected drinking at those times.

Tracking is an important part of TSM. Here's a free spreadsheet/graph combo you can use:

https://www.cthreefoundation.org/tsm-drink-log.html

Or the C3 phone app if you have an android:

http://optionssavelives.freeforums.net/ ... ble-google

You might also want to have a look around OSL while you're there, it's a bit more lively.

In general, feel free to push on the habitual part of your drinking, start at a different time (best to wait for the craving before you take the pill), don't keep your drink close by, but do keep a NA drink close at hand, challenge the last few drinks to see if it would be ok to simply go NA for the rest of the night. Keep on checking those points or use any other habit-busting techniques you might have picked up along the way. Nal will work on your unconscious desire to drink which will lead to passive reduction, but you can use active reduction to see what extra freedom you can grab along the way.

Don't worry too much about Alcohol Free (AF) days, just stick with taking the pill an hour before and the AF days will come find you. A perfect TSM session would be one drink after taking the pill and waiting an hour. You may have a difficult time doing that, but see what you can manage and realize that some days will be better than others. The most important thing is you gave it a go and asked the question "Do I really need/want this next one?". Just be willing to upset the status quo and see what shows up.

Thanks, onedayatatimeman and JoeSixPack (I sure picked a boring username!)

JoeSixPack, (or anyone else with an answer) I'm having a really hard time trying to quantify my drinking amounts in order to track my progress. I have no "consistent" drinking schedule except fairly reliably on Saturday's, and sometimes on Thursday or Tuesdays. I try not to ever drink on nights before I go to work since I can't trust myself to put a cap in it at a reasonable time. I'd say I drink an average of 3 days a week--but that is an average. Some weeks it could be no days, some it could be 2 3 or 4 days. Some days I seem fairly capable of having a few and calling it a night, and other days I'll have one or two and then head to the store for more. In fact, I often purchase as much as I want to allow myself, but I often override that by going back to the store for more once the alcohol is in my system. The common denominator for the more out of control drinking is when there is social stimulation and other drinkers. If I am at home with my husband, I can have one or two in the evening sometimes and no more. I am not "physically" addicted to alcohol in the sense that I'd get withdrawals if I quit. I can go for days alcohol free with little to no trouble if it's not around. For instance, after drinking the other night and recovering from a mild hangover yesterday, I have no desire to drink today. However, I do get "cravings" at certain times, it's harder to say no if it's around, and I can only moderate with a LOT of effort. My brain just loves the stuff.

In terms of my version of AUD-- my definition of "binge drinking" seems to be different than others--some people who go for days without drinking but drink for 3 days straight after their first drink, refer to themselves as "binge drinkers," and I'd call them "bender-drinkers." My Uncle was like that. He could go long stretches without drinking, but when he did, he disappeared into a bottle for up to a week. My binges are totally confined to the evening and often/early morning (1-3 am) after I started. I am definitely uncomfortable socializing at drinking events without drinking--if I can't drink at a party, I probably wouldn't go. In fact, there is nothing more miserable to me than when I'm attempting sobriety, and find myself at a party surrounded by rowdy drinkers... It's my biggest trigger. I feel like I'm on the other side of the "Good Times" fence, looking in. I'm not sure why my brain fails to remember the past blackouts, my injured shoulder, my 20 year old DUI, or my countless debilitating hangovers, but it doesn't, my brain just wants to par-tay. So, I may not have "huge" numbers in terms of weekly units, but when things go off the rails, they go off the rails. I chain drink, I chain smoke compulsively. I do not take "breaks" between drinks when drinking socially. I just suck 'em down.
Thankfully, I've never ever had the desire to drink the next morning. I usually "Never want to see or smell alcohol again for the rest of my life" when I'm nursing a nasty hangover. Unfortunately, that feeling fades after I'm feeling better, and my brain seems to only recall and crave the "fun" part; not the laying in bed all day trying not to puke, and feeling like I'm going to die part (damn brain!)

So, short story long, the amount I drink during a given week can be extremely variable. I guess I'll just have to give it a little more thought.

Cheers,

Gillian

You might want to go for the phone app instead just to keep things handy. Just keep track of the number you drink (or add them when you start a fresh drink) and then watch the monthly results. You should see falling peaks over time and drinking into the wee hours should eventually fall back. Just make sure to stay compliant and don't drink without the Nal.