Hi there, Just feel the need to connect somehow with people who understand alcohol issues. I tried Nal 2 years ago, and was finally able to take the full dose after very, very slowly titrating up. I had pretty intense side effects, but know what to do now. Currently I'm at .25 mg. Have noticed a slight difference; last couple of nights I've consciously stopped my drinking, although eventually did have ONE LAST DRINK. But I'm grateful for the part of my brain that's starting to think about how much I drink and that maybe it's time to stop. I am counting, and am at 6 drinks a night. Counting is also a good sign, as I've been totally off paying any attention to my drinking other than doing it as much as I've wanted to.

I've recently been through a lot, as my dear father died in March. Dealing with some depression, but it's as much about where I am in my life as it is losing him. Or rather, both exist simultaneously. This grief business is very strange. I don't really know how to deal with him not being on the planet. It's hard to get one's brain around. Regardless, I need to focus on me and moving my life forward. Booze is the biggest issue by far. With the mild depression I'm having, about all I can manage is taking Nal 1 hour before and counting drinks. Hoping it works better this time. But that's up to me as I broke the golden rule in the past. Not this time.

Thanks for listening.

My condolences on the passing of your father, Blou! Yes, grief is strange business indeed, there's no figuring it out. Nothing to it but to go through it in your own way. May you heal well and soon.

Glad to hear you've got the tools to get things under control again, I'm sure TSM will help you get those totals back down. Counting is indeed a good sign and alcohol is indeed one of the worst salves for the situation you're in. How long has the depression been around? I ask because I'm dystymic myself...

BTW, this board has been up and down and is often slow to respond. Just in case it goes down again, there's a very active TSM community at http://optionssavelives.freeforums.net/.

Hi Joe,

Thank you so much for the link to the active forum. I was wondering given that my old posts were still on page 1 in a couple of places.

Re: depression, I've had it off and on my whole life. It was much worse in my 20s and 30s. I think my current state is related to grief and the fact that I'm middle-aged and feel like my life is not in my control. Pretty sure the alcohol plays a big part in that.

I'll check out the other board--thanks for checking in here.

Blou