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Hello TSM: I was born and live in the USA, but my genes run deep into Scotland and Ireland. I inherited a drinking problem from my Irish grandfather, who had thirteen brothers and sisters. All six of his brothers were raging alcoholics. I could share a new story every night for the next ten years and never run dry, no pun intended.
After a decade of denial about my own drinking, I got serious about seeking help. No matter how much I loved my grandfather, I did not want to end up like he did, nor would he want me to, God rest his soul. I recall my mom's stories about how his AA meetings and interventions ended up being a waste of time, as so did the numerous dry spells he was forced to experience sitting in Folsom prison (in California), without bail money or his family knowing where he was until he sobered up enough to recall his own phone number.
My drinking stories pale in comparison, and I'd like to keep it that way.
A few weeks of research brought me to TSM, after stumbling across Claudia Christian's TEDx YouTube video. I bought the book, decided that it made sense in so many ways, and found a doctor who prescribed a 30 day supply of 50mg of Naltrexone along with a huge amount of guidance and suggestions - most importantly, she/he is also using TSM and is absolutely non-judgmental.
I've been on the pill for seven days now. I can definitely tell that something is going on, but I am moderately worried. My pre-drink cravings are substantially reduced, but when I do start drinking an hour after taking the pill, I feel very little; yes, this is supposed to be good, I know. But my brain has been talking back: "OK, you're not feeling it, so you need to drink more." I've actually ended up drinking more this first week, trying to get to that special place, which I guess I would call "normal."
I know this will pass, the reward feedback mechanisms will start to be extinguished, and I need to also consciously reduce my bottle count using some good old fashioned will power. Whatever the case, it is a little scary. Any feedback would be appreciated, and good luck to all of us out there.
Cheers, John
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