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 Post subject: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:44 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:13 am
Posts: 8
Location: Ohio, United States
I've been lurking for quite some time now and am in my 5th week of TSM, but have not posted until today. I feel that it is not too early to say that I owe my life to TSM and this site. I see a lot of very highly-functioning alkis on here, and can say definitively "that is not me". I have lost every job I've ever had, current employment excluded, due to alcohol. I've been in trouble with the law on numerous occasions, alienated and mistreated friends and family, and been an absolutely wretched bastard to the love of my life. With the help of alcohol, I've burned everything in my life dear to me to the ground. I'm nearly thirty, and have no successes to speak of since I began drinking heavily. I am still early in the program, and am still drinking very heavily, but TSM has given me hope. I get through the day without nearly breaking into tears thinking about how seemingly worthless, pathetic and weak I am. I have hope now.

My progress thus far is in my sig. I would characterise my self as a daily binge drinker with occasional bouts of forced abstinence. In my darkest moments, I would white knuckle it through a 2 or 3 day period and then binge heavily to compensate, calling off work for days on end. I actually hold it together better when I get obliterated every night of the week on 12 units over a 2 hour period without exception than I do trying to take days off and drinking twice that amount to make up for the AF days. After reading The Cure, I now know that the deprivation effect is in full force for me.

Today will be my first AF day, and I'm feeling just fine about that right now. It is not forced.

I look forward to contributing my experiences and lending support.

Best regards,

Ian

_________________
Week 1: 101.8, 0 AF, 14.5/day
Week 2: 98.8, 0 AF, 14.1/day
Week 3: 121, 0 AF, 17.3/day
Week 4: 76.4, 0 AF, 10.9/day
Week 5: 67.1, 1 AF, 11.2/day
Week 6: 99.1, 0 AF, 14.16/day
Week 7: 30.3, 4 AF, 10.1/day


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 6:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:07 pm
Posts: 929
Thanks sharing, Ian. I thought we had us a lurker when you posted your opinion saying "we." I'm happy you feel a part of this community.

One of the most powerful gifts we are giving one another here is the ability to tackle this problem without judging one another for the messes we have all made in our lives to one degree or another.

You will rebuild your life, and you have taken the first step by choosing an odds-on way to put your addiction to alcohol behind you.

Please keep us posted.


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:39 pm
Posts: 872
Welcome, Guardian/Ian! Your story touched my heart and I totally identify with the great hope this method gives us. Hang in here as it's a long haul process we are part of. I hope you find comfort and strength here. Relax and don't beat yourself up too much about your drinking. We have all been there, done that in one way, shape or form.

Just please do not drink and drive anywhere. Taxis are cheap. So glad you found your way here - there's a reason for that! :-)

_________________
Began TSM 2/09 ave 35 - 50 units/wk
Months 6 - 12 @ 100mgs
2/10 Dropped to 50mgs; units same
4/10 stopped NAL & started BAC thru River
6/10 up to 120 mgs BAC w/ MAJOR SEs
7/10 titrating off BAC
8/10 starting Topamax w/ Dr.


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 19, 2009 2:17 pm
Posts: 1793
Hey Ian, welcome. The time for beating yourself up for an addiction you couldn't defeat on your own is over. Give yourself a pat on the back for having the guts to make change and for finding TSM and this site. You are well on your way to the cure.

My best,

Nick

_________________
Pre-TSM:50+wk/hangovers/blackouts/bad behavior
Regained Control wk36
Now:<20/wk/NO hangovers/blackouts/bad behavior
(Nothing in this post should be construed as medical/legal advice. Always consult a physician before taking prescription drugs.)


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:07 pm
Posts: 386
Location: Michigan
Welcome Ian - glad you joined us!

We all can relate to the horror stories, because to one degree or another, alcohol has caused pain and destruction in all of our lives. But if you stick with TSM, the horror stories will be replaced with a life more like a wonderful fairly tale (as far as drinking goes). You'll find all the help and support in the world here. Keep posting! :D


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:17 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:00 am
Posts: 579
Location: England, UK
Hi Ian,

A warm welcome from the other side of the pond!

Best wishes on your TSM journey.

V.

_________________
Weekly Consumption
Wk01-10: 86, 98, 103, 104, 97, 92, 102, 103, 102, 107
Wk11-20: 100, 99, 100, 105, 108, 108, 89, 95, 105, 97
Wk21-30: 97, N/R, N/R, 97, 105, N/R, N/R, 107, 97, 98
Wk31-40: 93, 88, 87, 87, 91, 92, 94, N/R
UK units
N/R = Not Recorded


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:40 am 
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Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:41 am
Posts: 457
Location: Southeast England
Hi Ian!

A very warm welcome to you from me too. I appreciated your very honest introduction, much of which rang true for me and no doubt many others here, and it's a wonderful thing to read that TSM has already shown so much promise in your life. I'll be following your progress with great interest!

All the best :)

8

_________________
UK units consumed

01-05: 87, 101, 118, 73 (sick), 128 (est)
06-10: 120 (est), 122 ("), 76 (sick), 132, 144
11-15: 111, 102, 125, 113, 124
16-20: 110, 139, 163, 134, 172
21: was bad, but got things back under control
22+: not bothering


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:54 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 46
Hi lan
I'm new too, 2 weeks behind you. So what do you say we clasp hands and skip down the yellow brick road to the cure together. I too am full of hope, a little scared (to good to be true thing) but it's about time something to good to be true is in fact true
Lots of luck

_________________
Pre -- 60+/wk
week, units, cravings
wk1--51---10
wk2--62---10
wk3--60
wk4--69
wk5--63
wk6--68
wk7--63
wk8--74
wk9--61
wk10--70
wk11--67


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 Post subject: Re: Hi from Ohio
PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:15 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 6:20 am
Posts: 238
Hi guardian/Ian
I too was very moved by your honest post. I'm delighted you have had the courage and openness to try TSM. Honestly i know you feel you have wasted so much of your life BUT 30 is young - there are lots of us here who are old enough to be your parent and have only discovered TSM! Try to let go of the past, hang in there and take as much support as you need from the wise old heads (metaphorically old that is ;) ) on this board.

_________________
Pre TSM 55-60
WK Units AF
1-4 55 ; 37 3; 31.5 4; 42 2
5-8 45 2; 40 3; 40.25 3; 23 2;
9-12 49 2; 36.5 4; 9.5 6; 28.5 3
13-16 32.5 3; 29.5 4; 29 3; 29.5 2
17-20 30.5 2; 15 3; 18.3 4; 20.2 3
21-24 37 1; 18 5; 17 3; 30 2
52 25 4


UK Units


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