I have been doing great with TSM for 10 months, drinking only a few nights per month at low levels (2 or 3 beers). So far, only my wife and a couple friends know that I take Nal. Thus far, I have not drunk in front of my kids, extended family and other friends. They all think I am abstaining and maybe going to AA or whatever. I really do not know what kind of gossip went around about me, but I suspect it was severe. (I do not blame anyone about this. It is natural and in fact deserved.)

However, I'd like to eventually be able to drink in front of them without their freaking out. My plan is to simply let it be known that I have become a light or moderate drinker and have done so for the last year. I am not planning to explain TSM, except to those who also have a drinking problem.

I really doubt that normal drinkers will be able to understand my situation with any kind of a 30 second summary, and I really dont want to go into an hour long explanation of TSM with everyone. On the other hand, I dont want to generate another round of gossip, "I guess Carp fell off the wagon..."

Did anyone else go through this? Comments?

Why say anything?.

Your behavior will speak for itself, and most people wouldn't understand the concept anyway.

You could just tell them that you got tired of drinking as much, so you cut back and are happier with it, much as you'd planned. Just watch out, drinking with the family is one area where people can lose control. Might be a good acid test, maybe enlist your wife's help?

You may have people coming up and asking for your secret!

Unless you are abstaining completely no one is going to believe you anyways. So as Gaupo said just don't say anything. It is going to take a looong time to repair the damage you did socially if you were always a drunken douche at family functions and social gatherings, and yes they did gossip about you. You can't undo the dumbass things you said and did in the past while drunk, but at least now you can behave yourself as your drinking is under control. It is isn't it? You better be careful. You can still certainly get drunk while taking Naltrexone and your tolerance for alcohol is not what it used to be just 10 months ago. Like JoeSixPack said, drinking while around the family can be problematic. Good luck.

Carpteeth,

At 9 months, I am still a closet drinker around my adult children, but I do not want to deal with the confrontation around it. I drink so rarely at home that it just isn't worth it right now. I have only spoken about TSM to my husband, daughter and her boyfriend (because his dad is a heavy drinker and may have an issue). My daughter understands but is skeptical and she said that as long as I don't go back to drinking like I did she doesn't care what I do. I have repeatedly said to my sons that I take a pill for my drinking so it isn't an issue anymore, but I do not drink in front of them.

I agree with Clarion, for actions do speak louder than words. If your children are old enough to understand and/or live with you, you could explain the process to help with the tension, or tell them as long as you take a pill you are fine. As for the others let them think you fell off the wagon, and gossip for time will show that things are different. If anyone does say anything to you then you could either explain that you take a drug that allows you to drink and in moderation, or give them the book and say read it and then we will talk.

If I ever want to drink in front of my sons I will have to explain this process to them, for I have heard from both of them that they would be very disappointed in me if I started drinking again. It is very hard for people to understand this process when AA/abstinence seems to be the answer to anyone with an alcohol issue and has been the backbone of our society for years.

Jaba

CT,

Until recently I only told my wife what I was up to and I have been doing this for over 8 months. And I can totally understand why you are nervous about telling them you have your drinking under control. So I guess I would go with don't bother telling anyone and just go about your business of getting AL under control. If that means that you want or need a drink around your family just follow the golden rule.

I just recently told two of my drinking bodies about TSM in secrecy - two who have the same serious problem of drinking all day every day. Both stated that they were interested and then one got drunk and told everyone we were with all week that I am q@#$r for quitting etc. The other gal is starting the process.

So in the end, I relearned a few lessons. All People talk. Some People listen. And no one keeps a secret! But at the end of the day I think I may have helped someone get control of AL and just maybe some of the others who heard that I was a pill popping abstinent quitter may just approach me quietly on the side when they realize they need help. So well worth being outed.

I don't think it's anybody's business what pills you take. Are you interested in learning about medications that other people you know take? I didn't think so.

The issue here is drinking, not pills. No one cares if you take a pill or not. But some people do care if you drink too much.

So, take your pill and you won't drink too much and no one will spend a fraction of the time thinking about it that you do.

Right?

My personal take on it is as others have mentioned you don't need to say anything, unless of course you want to share. I told my mother in the hopes that it would help my father, I still have trouble talking to him about it but I do intend to at some point.

One trick I used to always use back in the old days of trying to abstain was the health kick trick. Just tell them you are on a diet and trying to loose weight, everyone seems to understand that one.

I would say as little as possible unless you WANT to do otherwise. I don't think you owe anyone an explanation,and it probably wouldn't help anyway. And kudos to you for doing so well!! Newlife