So here I am on my phone in bed at 3:40am feeling quite rested finally. Yesterday I decided to take the plunge and give TSM another try. I've been keeping a drinking diary for over a week so I knew I'd be wanting a drink at 4pm, so had a 50mg pill at 3pm (Yeah, I know, didn't find reminder to only have half until after!). It started ok and I was able to stop after 5 standard drinks (3 tall cans of beer, a lot less than usual!) and have dinner, read a bit in bed until too tired to move or keep my eyes open... only to be too wired on naltrexone to sleep.. anxiety, increased blood pressure, restless feet, cramps and joint pains. It was bearable though, I lived to write this. I've had worse. in fact most nights at 3am I feel a lot worse after drinking lots, like right on the edge of dying kind of thing. I don't think the high sodium content of the cheap beer helped. Maybe I should stick to my favoured merlot, and good quality light beer. My goal is to reduce my drinking to safe levels and finally to be able to enjoy most days Alcohol Free!

My last attempt at TSM was about a year ago and to be fair, it was a pretty confused and muddled attempt. I believe one of the main reasons I didn't give TSM a proper trial is because it is at odds with New Zealand's current legislation, and although tolerated in state-funded counselling groups, it conflicts with the prevailing narrative of abstinence and the 12 steps. Officially, one cannot obtain a prescription for naltrexone until undertaking abstinence-based counselling (I think this is still the case?) and getting clearance from a psychiatrist. On the ground, good counsellors and psychiatrists recognise the benefits of TSM if they know about it and will support it, but it's hard to sit in on a group and promote a method that isn't entirely legal or recognised. There are too many mixed messages, and for that reason I'm not sure if I should attend those groups again.

My main concern is that I might self-sabotage and intentionally stop taking the naltrexone before drinking. So I'm hoping that by engaging with you guys I can reinforce the golden rule. I've had success with abstinence, the last time 3 months sober. But that was 10 months ago now and during that 3 months I was crippled with gout and couldn't work. Since then 10 months of heavy drinking, "rewarding" myself every evening after work, or consoling myself when I have no work. It got to the point where my hangovers were so bad, I couldn't go to work, just get more stressed and depressed instead. At least the gout is gone: thanks febuxostat!

No, after reading again about TSM, I'm convinced it's the best long-term solution for me. 3 months of abstinence for 10 months of dangerous and damaging drinking is not a good payoff! Besides, It will help me a lot knowing that I can go out and have a drink with friends on those rare occasions like end-of-year parties. Eventually doing that without any alcohol. I want my life back.
Fortunately while I was abstinent I stockpiled my naltrexone and now have enough for 125 drinking episodes without needing to lie and grovel. And I made sure I had a blood test last week. Liver function a bit concerning, but within safe level and will continue to monitor.

Apart from all that, I'm in my low 40s, married and self-employed. Pleased to meet you.

Welcome Myway,

I hope you stick around and start a progress page, for it can help you and new comers for everyone has a different experience with the nal and TSM. I get tired on the nal. and I have read that it can cause the side effects that you have, but you are the first to report it here that I am aware of...everyone is indeed different. Even though you have done this before, if the side effects are too much to take, try lowering the dose for a while until those side effect go away, or not as strong. If you think you can endure the side effects and continue on this path, then stay on the 50 mg.

I have tried being sober 3 times and after those 3 times my drinking increased. This past time I was up to 2+ bottles of wine, and wanting more! So I knew it was a matter of time before I would either get a DUI or do more damage to my liver. I have been doing this since May 8 and I feel like I have a handle of my drinking, for I can stop when I want to and have AF days without white knuckling it. Now I just need to work on the habit part. Tonight I was just lost in a strange town, so what do I want to do...drink...so I took my pill and I my typing this and waiting for that hour to go by! I want to know who was the first person to start using alcohol for the answers to all our problems, for I bet it was someone in marketing for some alcohol company!

I am sorry to hear that New Zealand has such restricted rules about writing the script for nal., and I think the UK might be applying that to the nal or the other drug that is being used. Which I guess is suitable for someone that is being force to take the nal for a court action, but if someone is will...I don't get it, but I do not get a lot of things that governments do.

I do hope that you will stick around, for this is a great group. We try to support one and another the best we can, and cheer each other on, for there are moment that we all want to not take that pill, or not wait that hour, that is just the process of TSM and the nature of the beast being an alcoholic.

Well, I hope I didn't type too much, for I do have an issue with being long winded!

I hope you have a great week, and I hope you post your experiences,

Jaba

Have naltrexone available to you everywhere, all the time. I have it in my purse, which is always with me. Keep it in your desk, your car, and anywhere else you can think of. If you have it available you will be far less likely to decide to skip it "just this once".

Good Luck and keep us posted!

welcome and good luck. again, keep Nal on you and stick to the golden rule. life might get better. it has for me.

Welcome my way. Just take the pill one hour before drinking. That is all you have to worry about right now. looking forward to reading about your progress. Newlife

Welcome Myway! You've found a really supportive group in us! I hope you keep posting about your progress, trials, tribulations, questions.... you don't have to face this alone!

Great to have you here. Everyone has chimed in on what you need to do to be successful - and it sounds like you are already counting drinks so that is good. Just a little curious on how long you did the TSM last time and if you just quit outright or stopped taking the pill and doing the self sabotage thing until you walked away?

Hi Myway.
I have been on TSM for just under a year. Originally I started off on 50mg Naltrexone but I still got quite severe cravings after several months of being on this dose. I would drink a bottle of wine and although I could feel the Naltrexone taking away some of the craving, I still "needed" to drink more wine. I have been on 75mg Naltrexone since August & I quickly now get fed up with drinking (I still feel a desire to drink sometimes but usually only a couple of glasses of wine instead of 2 bottles of it). I do drink most nights at present but it is, as I say, about 2 glasses on average, as opposed to the couple of bottles that I would drink on many nights. I still do enjoy drinking those couple of glasses but at least my liver is back to normal so I'm not worried.
I too am from New Zealand. I get help from WINZ for the cost of my Naltrexone. They pay for all of it. If you are on a low income (like the minimum wage, like I am) you should be entitled to the benefit called "Working for Families" (talk to WINZ about getting on it). On this benefit they top up your income, and if you can get your doctor to sign a "Disability Allowance" form for your Naltrexone, WINZ will pay for it. I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.
My signiture shows my progress. Although it has been an up and down journey over the months my drinking has definitely declined. I didn't record my drinking pre-TSM days. It was even higher pre-TSM, up to maybe 70 std drinks a week at times! I have made steady and great progress and am very happy with the results of TSM!
I don't really want to be teetotal as I like to have a few drinks, especially while socialising, and I now can. My liver is now healthy after being damaged and that is half the battle.
Good luck to you and be patient. TSM can be an up and down journey to start off with but if you stick with it it should work for you, as it has done for me.
Thanks.

Paddy54,

Thanks for posting and the info about the help from WINZ, for I am sure there are lurkers out there that needed to know that.

I am happy to hear about your progress,

Jaba