Hi everyone.
I've been lurking here for a while, on and off. I am encouraged to see a method that doesn't expect me to stop my drinking NOW & FOREVER. I want what I think all problem drinkers want... to be able to drink and it not be a problem. I have been told all my life that what I want is not possible. Some background? I am a 44 year old woman, from London, but have lived 10 years in NZ, 10 years in France, both places being rather keen on a bit of a drink. I managed to fit in (something I always wanted) in both places, somewhat because of my ability to drink. (A LOT)
I remember the 1st time I tasted alcohol, must have been 7 years old, mistaking punch for juice, and the FEELING of feeling so FINE. It has definitely been a problem for me since my teenage years. I managed between the ages of 28-34 to completely be free of the booze, mostly, I think, because I was in a pretty abusive relationship (later marriage) and he just wouldn't have stood for it. I had been in AA prior to meeting him, I think I may have subconsciously made him my *higher power*. When he took off, it didn't take me long to get back on the booze. Those 6 proud years were like they never happened.
So. I currently drink at least 2 bottles of wine a night. If I start earlier, I am frantic if I run out, and can be seen stumbling to Tesco for *just one more*
I am with such a lovely guy now, I haven't the faintest idea why he still sticks around. I am a liability.
So, after a year+ of being unemployed, plus major health issues culminating in a hysterectomy, I have finally found work. I am really concerned that my trembly, red-eyed morning self is going to be the undoing of me. I am doing GREAT at my job, but the time has come to address this. I emailed my GP yesterday, sent him the link to this site, and asked him if he will prescribe me the wonder-drug. I haven't heard back from him yet. He is aware of my problem, I ended up in the hospital last year after overdosing on sleepers through despair.
So, yeah. Hi. Wish me luck?

Alcohol is not nearly as enjoyable on nal.

Your goals were similar to mine.

Thanks for replying. Not even sure if I enjoy this anymore... on to my 3rd bottle of wine, cooking dinner, acting normal. The expense! I smoke like crazy when I drink too, so there's that. Also maybe 5 years ago, people were mistaking me for my 18 year old son's girlfriend. That isn't happening anymore. I look a wreck. Ok for 44, but bleugh. Anyway, thanks again. I will keep checking to see if Doc will approve this treatment.

sideeffect2 tells the truth, or at least matches my experience. Some people say that they still enjoy having a few drinks after TSM, but I can't imagine how. Alcohol just isn't enjoyable without the euphoric buzz. Not for me, anyway.

I look forward to hearing about your experiences and your progress. Everyone's subjective experience is different, and I'm always collecting more.

Btw, from what you have written, you seem to have an unhelpful beliefs about drinking, which may affect your success. You think you need to drink, and drink a lot, to be accepted.

I have found, in my limited experience, that how *I* act about it is how other people act about it. If its no big deal to me, its no big deal to them. If I make it a big deal, or they can tell I want a drink, they will offer and possibly cajole. I also not try to be dramatic about it. "You arent drinking anymore?" "Maybe, I havent decided. Im certainly drying out for now."

Hunh. I didn't get that from her posts at all.

Hi missfred, good to see you on here. Sounds like you're in a good place to start to change your life...you've got a supportive partner, a job that you're great at and have found a method that works for 80% of the people who stick with it. Hopefully your GP will prescribe Nal, but it may be worth looking into buying it online if not.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
Ruth.

"I managed to fit in (something I always wanted) in both places, somewhat because of my ability to drink. (A LOT)"

Thats what i saw. I could be wrong, thought id point it out.

Well, she can clear it up when she posts again. You may be right.

Thanks everyone for responding. I see where the misconception might have come about, I was more talking about my *youth*. My drinking is certainly not helping me fit in these days. When you are younger, heavy drinking might be seen as a bit cool, at my age it only serves to alienate me from people. It is a compulsion.
The thing is, even when I was drink free, the obsession never left me. I wish to be free of thinking about the drinking.
I want to be able to sleep without a skinfull.
AA has been attempted many times, after a certain point, the failure gets to you. A guy, who was the leader of our AA in France, fell off the wagon, briefly, then killed himself. He couldn't BARE the fail.
I am hopeful about this, though still no response from the doc.