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Best intro post. Ever.

Welcome to the board -- you seem like a very "high functioning" alcoholic. Anyway, I would take exception to the idea that exercise and sex will somehow be negatively impacted by Naltrexone. Just a theoretical myth, in my opinion, and I can't recall anyone actually having that ACTUAL experience on these boards (i.e. nobody here seems to have been unable to function and enjoy either activity while on Naltrexone). So, I would just assume there will be only positive consequences until proven otherwise. Just an aside, being intoxicated has significant impact on a man's "performance" (erection and ejaculation); I think for a chronic alcohol abuser, the effects are in play even when they aren't actually drinking. It takes a few weeks or so to potentially regain "full speed ahead."

Best of luck to you and your demons.

BuenaVista,

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story in such an articulate, heart-felt manner. I'm sure everyone on this forum understands how you feel and to what extent you NEED TSM to work. As you know from reading the posts, we are an educated, intelligent group who have tried to stop on our own, through abstinence, AA, etc. and have kept searching for answers to our misery. You are not alone!! The pain and isolation caused by alcoholism is universal.

I am only in my second week but am hopeful, and hanging on by my fingernails. This HAS to be the answer. I am going through my 4th divorce, have just recently (at 49 years old) run into trouble with the law, and have no friends due to my isolationism. The success stories here keep me going day by day.

Please keep us posted on your progress and hang in there. We are all here for you.

Cindy

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Hi BV and welcome,

First, I can't believe you went to four doctors and couldn't find one educated and enlightened enough to explore this life-saving treatment. Shame on them and the medical community at large for not embracing TSM and other protocols that are saving lives, at a much higher rate than our AA devotees. I'm reminded again how rare it is and what a gift to have a doctor like mine. When I went to see him in early July after a two-week bender (after 14 months AF and years in and out of AA before that) I was fully expecting to be sentenced to rehab or start my 2nd medically-supervised detox. Instead, he very calmly asked how many times had I tried abstinence/AA and failed in the past 8 years? About a dozen times, I said.

So he suggested I try something different, and here I am. Prior to this most recent relapse, I was already heading for a collapse of some sort, because my work, too, had become all-consuming (being a top performer like so many of us, I was accustomed to those 80-hour weeks, which eventually take their toll.) The perfect storm hit with the proverbial last straw at work and I went home with a bottle instead of a last-minute project. Then my boyfriend of 5+ years, the one who had so tenderly nursed me through my detox last year, told me that he didn't sign up for "this," another relapse. I guess that's where his urnestly-professed unconditional love stopped.

Following the worst 4th of July weekend ever, I'm taking a medical leave of absence to deal with acute depression and to wrangle control of my drinking. Fu*k what having a prescription for Naltrexone does to my future insurance. Because like you said, to paraphrase, what good is a job (or an erection or whatever) if you're dead? Sometimes I think it's a blessing that I still have about 13 years worth of photos and memorabilia to put into albums so my son can remember what his childhood was like - luckily I was sober from before he was born up until he was 10, when I left husband #2 and relocated from Laguna Beach to the great Northwest for a promising career change. That's one of those silly things that keeps me going. The sad prospect of a life undocumented by trips to Legoland and school plays.

But enough about me. What do you think of me? (Name that movie, anyone, for bonus points.)

BV, one aspect of your story puzzles me. You can't tell your current girlfriend about your real situation with alcohol and that you're dealing with it? The subterfuge continues?

Here, anyway, you can be honest and accountable. You're off to a great start and I'll look forward to reading about your progress.

Note to Cindy - you do have a friend, even if from afar

Welcome! Your intro is very moving, you're a good writer.

I wish you much success with this approach.

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Hi BV. You sound surprised at all you have experienced. Well, this is TSM, my friend.

It's working. Just continue to take the darned stuff and never have even one drink without it. You'll see.
Babs.

PS your posts are not too long. And this is a secure space. So blather on as much as you like. You don't have to impress us, or anybody. Just say what you need to say and get it all out.

BV, I think sharing our stories might just help us as well, or at least I'm hopeful. I'm new to all of this and actually haven't started the NAL yet as I had to order from Canada - can't find a doctor in my area who even knows of the drug or the method - and I live in the DC/tri-state area! I'm currently wrestling with starting with detox b/c I'm so sick internally, although looking at me you would never know it.

I was surprised by all our similar stories here, it's amazing to me that we are all walking around with this monster on our back like zombies. My commute to work everyday is around an hour in terrible traffic and I couldn't help but look at my fellow angry drivers and wonder if anyone shared my story - now I believe there are many of us zombies driving around - we are just finally coming clean and screaming for some real help.

I did get the nal last night and am struggling with signing up to detox first or just diving in... that is where my mind will be during my countless meetings today... zombi-land.

Thanks for your honesty to the xtent you want to share - you are not alone.

Marianne

BuenaVista, I think I can speak for everyone here and say -- keep writing your long posts as long as you feel inspired. Much better than reading some lame article on Slate or something.

Anyway...absolutely Naltrexone changes the way alcohol "tastes," at least for some people. I used to love drinking straight vodka. I've never been a connoisseur of liquor, but I had the "Oh my God, this takes like freaking poison" experience on day two. I still can throw down a shot or two, but it's a chore for sure.

As I've said in a previous post, Be careful what you wish for. The way TSM works on some people (and it sounds very much like you might be one of them), you can't always have the "best of both worlds." That is, you can't be both a light to moderate drinker and still orgasmically enjoy alcohol. TSM has "ruined" what was once life's second greatest pleasure for me, but it's a trade-off I've been (so far) willing to make, as my life has greatly improved in all other areas (relationships, parenting, health, convenience [e.g. not having to constantly worry about getting pulled over for drunk driving, which I had done hundreds if not thousands of times pre-TSM]).

What it will do for your Bruce-Wayne-esque lifestyle remains to be seen. (On the other hand, I guess Bruce Wayne was a teetotaler. Maybe I should say "George-Clooney-esque" lifestyle).