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Hi. I'm Coop, a late 30s/early 40s something who lacks an "off" switch and wants to get one installed.
I'm not a daily drinker, I'm a binge drinker. Though I do get strong urges throughout the week, sometimes maddeningly so, I can refrain. I'm capable of turning down a drink, and generally hold myself to a "weekends only" rule. When I start, though, all bets are off. Like clockwork I come home on Friday and drink too much, then on Saturday open my first beer some time in the afternoon and just don't stop until I'm way too far along. I'm especially bad in social situations like parties. I keep going until I am a slurring, red-faced mess. I've embarrassed my wonderful family too many times.
Once I flip that switch to "on," I just can't find the "off" switch. I've had candid conversations with my wife, asked her to help, to not be shy about nudging me when it's time to slow down. She does. She's been loving and as patient as one can be with someone like me. I try to listen when she says it's time to stop, but you know how it goes. I just don't listen. I keep drinking.
At this point, I'm putting down 8-12 beers per session, and it goes beyond count at parties. I know others might abuse worse than I do, but I'm bad enough, and I recognize that I have no control. My week day urges are getting stronger and when I drink I'm starting to have more frequent blackout episodes where I can't remember the last portion of the night. In the morning I've found bottles from beers I don't remember drinking, that sort of thing. Plus, my father is a hopeless alcoholic who lost his job, his family, his money, and almost all of his health to alcohol. He is permanently disabled because of his drinking.
I don't want to be him.
At the same time, I don't want to quit. I genuinely love beer, not simply for the buzz, but I love the taste of a great beer. I even brew my own. Beer appreciation is a big part of my social circle. Quitting would be very, very difficult - and I don't want to.
What I want is control. I want an "off" switch.
I'll be starting Nal in a few weeks. I've already started to keep track of my units so I can have a good, strong look at how this is working. I'm hoping that the Sinclair Method, when coupled with my honest, genuine desire to rein this thing in, will help me build the "off" switch I need. The determination is there when I'm sober. I just need help when I'm drinking.
Thanks for this amazing forum, folks. I've been reading it for a while now, since before it got blocked from non-members. The Sinclair Method first came to my attention about two years ago. I delayed far too long. Wish me a great journey towards getting control!
_________________ Months 1-2 (Avg pr wk): 21, 26 Months 3-8 (avg pr wk): 20, 18, 8, 13, 10, 12 Months 8-14 (avg pr wk): 14, 12, 13, 10, 11, 14 Months 15-20 (avg pr wk): 11, 11, 11, 10, 12, 17 Months 21-xx (avg pr wk): 9
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