I just took my 4th Vivitrol shot this week (starting month 4). I had the honeymoon period, then the blackout, then teo week of not drinking a drop. Right now, I'm doing something weird. Like most, I had to hide my drinking from my spouse. I've had some real bad anxiety issues that were only complicated by the booze. It took me a while, but I started to see the vicious cycle develop. Stress=anxiety=drinking=more anxiety=more drinking.

I'm now speaking to someone and I am a medication for the anxiety. It's working, but of course the alcohol dilutes the effectiveness of the medication, so once again more anxiety.

These are the main reasons that I've decided to go the TSM route.

Back to the hiding of alcohol....I use to work on the road selling insurance and almost everyday after work I would get really anxious and need a drink. You could debate for days if it was the alcohol or the anxiety (or both). It would be walking distance from my house, so I was safe but because the lack of money and time....I would wack back to double Jagermisters and head home. Of course, I would go home a still drink, but I think I used to get off on the sneaking or maybe just to head start.

I actually was sitting in this bar last week and said to myself 'what am I doing here?'

I had no desire to drink let alone sneaking into this bar filled with low lives. The worst part is the guilt and anxiety I have when I come down on myself for doing it.


Why am I doing this and should I stop or is this also part of the process..? Re-wiring the old bad habits??

Behaviors change slowly. You'll be hard pressed to persevere in a habit that has no reward associated with it. It's all part of the process.
Why did you opt for Vivitrol? To my knowledge the only real benefit is that insurance will pay for it and that it requires no need to remember to take your Nal. If you drink during discrete periods of the day, Nal works as well without blocking endorphins from other 'good' (vigorous) activities. You most likely know all this and made your decision accordingly.

Hi, Matty501. Since your post is in the "Introduce Yourself" forum I assume you are new in this board, just as I am. So, welcome!
Well, it seemed to me that you're not really taking the Sinclair Method, because you said you take one injection (per month or week? I dunno, sorry) and TSM means taking the pill about one hour before drinking. So, as I see it, you should change the posology in order to fit TSM.
Maybe I got it wrong... Please correct me if that's the case.

Matty501,
Your post really hit home, I certainly can relate to the whole drinking, sobering up and dealing with a ton of anxiety which often led to more drinking to take "the edge off". I also sneak around hitting the bottle, although this has dropped off a lot since starting TSM in May. You didn't mention if you were having any AF days, I find that I feel great - no anxiety - if I can string a couple of them together.

I would say that if you don't feel like drinking on any given day you should try a bit of will power and try to go AF. If you start white knuckling, just give in and have a couple of drinks.

Hang in there, and keep up the good fight.

Thanks for the responses. Especially Diver...

I do have AF days with no problems and of course I feel great. I just don't understand with all the negative factors involved and not really enjoying anything about drinking.....I still feel tempted to go through the process. Maybe it's in my head....I'm hoping it's the peaks and valleys everyone talks about.

I actually threw a glass a wine (full) out in the sink, totally sober....it's awesome. I did the Vivitrol because my insurance pays for it and I was nervous quitting (dealing with the cravings etc). I then found TSM and it seems like a fit. I'm not enjoying my kids less or no finding my wife attractive etc.


If anybody has something similar happen....please let me know so I stop thinking I crazy....

Hi Matty,

I'm new here in the process, but I think the answer to your question is it's both habit and addiction that drives us to do what we don't want to do anymore. In the last few weeks, pre-Nal, I would find myself almost nauseous at the thought of drinking, and yet...I did it anyway. It's what I do every night, after finishing the working day, crack open the bottle of wine. Habit. And once I started, I would drink until I ran out of booze or passed out. Addiction.

Since I am just starting out this week, the first milestone that I am really looking forward to is my first AF day - I can't remember the last time I had one, it's been at least two months if I had to guess. Congratulations on having several!

HopefulBee

Hi Matty501, welcome to the board. The up and down you describe is par for the course and yes it is part of the process. I'm guessing your up to about week 16. At your stage nothing much seems to be happening on the surface (ie you still have many of your old bad habits still happening) and many of us (who have regained control through TSM) start to doubt the process somewhat. Nothing tangible seems to be happening but this is when the critical "re wiring" is happening. Unfortunately, things will probably continue this way for you for some time longer. Most people who regain control take between 30-40 weeks (I took 43 wks). This is in contrast to Dr Eskapa's book which quotes time frames of 3-6 months. Having said that most people report a myriad of small attitudal changes despite drinking figures remaining high, during the stage you're at. Ie not passing out, being able to stop, better family relationships, more productive, etc. A couple more things: have you read the book? Do you keep track of your drinking figures? You have posted in the New, introduce yourself- have you been active on this board? Each of these may help you on your journey. Have you considered changing over to oral Naltrexone? In my opinion, it may be advantageous for you for the reasons Digetic described, the research was based on trial participants taking the oral version and ultimately (unless you plan to be totally abstinent) you will need to take Naltrexone 1 hour prior to any drinking episode ad infinitum. Hope this helps and good luck.

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