yes i had a wonderful 7 weeks with him... he knew i was coming .. i got a house and everthing for many months over here.. turns out he is back with his girlfriend... so im stuck in germany for a while i guess.... the worst part is we spoke all the time about being together and that we couldnt wait to see each other and about how much we love each other..bla bla... so i slept with him and and he leaves and asks to just be friends and goes back to her... i feel like an idiot.. i drank alot last night ... didnt really get drunk though... i gave myself one last night to greive him and today i have decided to think positively ... i can feel the tears welling up as i write this though... god it hurts .. at least i found out what hes like noe rather than 2 years down the track.... arrrrrrrrggggggggggg!!!!!

Wow. So sorry, Sunshine. Don't feel like an idiot because he was not being truthful with you...that's his issue not yours.

Keep finding that good attitude and try not to beat yourself up. You are strong and will live through this...my heart goes out to you though, dear. And yes...good to find it out now. This is not the type of person you want to be with...find better when you are healed.

Take care.

morning all..... woke up today and have so far been very productive..... i had a bit of as bender over the weekend and my friend and i got very drunk and ended up meeting up with her new love interest and friends... oh god i think i made an idiot of myself again...im just so sick of this pattern and what people think of me.... i just wish so badly that i was already a few months in... my drinking is going up but i know that everyone says that is pretty normal.... i have to keep reminding myself 'THIS TOO WILL PASS'..... its really discouraging when you feel your doing ok then you behave like an idiot and batters my self esteem and i wonder if this will work for me.... i guess i9 have to have faith... we all do... the only thing that keeps me going is the thought EXTINCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............. if im still doing this to myself but i will end up cured i wil be a happy woman..... FAITH , FAITH , FAITH.....

Sunshine had the same sort of weekend but I hybernated so I only made a fool out of myself in front of myself. I knew where I was at, disgusting! Yesterday was beat myself up day and today in starting good. I wish you the same.

Broken heart...drunken get-together with girlfriends. Sounds pretty normal to me.

Your attitude sounds great (but don't beat yourself up too much, ok?) We are all getting there slowly