Meggie.... it's so much better to be alone than lonely! In all of your posts that I've read, I can't recall one where there was any positivity about or toward your husband. Think about how all of the loneliness, anger, ambivalence, sadness, regret is just eating away at your soul. It's no wonder you drink!

Leaving is scary..... staying sounds scarier to me! If you truly cannot leave, I agree with Jaba... you need to find a way to live your life to the fullest... DESPITE your husband! We've got your back!

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Thanks guys, it is nice to have people that don't even know me that cares. Still plugging, I am tired but I just go to bed which is good because I don't drink.

9 days down and I have had this flu, cough, awful fever but have only missed 2 days of work. Not the best week to be sick. Feelng bless that I only have to work 2 days next week. Anyone else not excited not to decorate for Christmas. I am hoping my daughter will come over and help
Wow, in this 9 days I have one AF day, still took the pill and have drank about 11 drinks in those days. To be honest I miss the rush and the taste. I don't even enjoy that first taste, I even poured more into a glass it didn't do anything. I do I fill the need for that rush.
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Gosh Meggie - I hope that you are feeling better - poor you to have been sick that long and I am amazed that you only had 2 days off work - maybe you should have taken more and it might not have hung around so long ! Please take care of yourself !

Sorry that you are missing the rush re the AL - how has the taste changed though ? I have not noticed the taste changing. As for needing the rush - you need to try and find something else that will make you happy. It is hard when we have relied on AL for so long. What else can you do ? Take up a hobby ? Go to the gym? I thought you were trying to get to the gym? If you cant get to the gym - just go outside for a walk or a jog maybe ? We need to fill the space where AL was in our lives - and that can be hard - but please try and find something because the alternative is just not good ! If your intake is going down, that is fantastic !!!

Hope that you feel better soon, Hugs, Maggie x

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Thank you all. I am in bed again, sleeping. I drank a good white wine last night and only drank one glass. I haven't liked wine in a long while. I would love to trade the wine for the vodka so much better for me.
Maggie, I was going to the gym before this flu hit. My friend is trying to get me to run. I have been trying, not liking it. This past week I am lucky to have made it to work.
Every day is a challenge and I won't give up that pill. So exciting to be pacified with one drink.

That is wonderful!! I hope you feel 100% soon.

I don't check my drinks I mark my bottle. I still have a third of the bottle left and have 15 nights out of that one bottle. I usually finish the bottle after 9 nights. So it is my hope to get 20 nights out of this bottle. So that would mean my drinking is cut in half. This for me is exciting, however, I am feeling better so hopefully my drink won't go up. Also, on vacation. Why does this curse hold us so tight. It is nice to know I haven't had withdrawal and can sleep. God is good. One day at a time.

If it makes you feel better, MOST people behave differently on vacation! I don't know a single person who doesn't go on vacation and let loose at least a little bit! Keep on keeping on!

MinneMom