I am a 40 year old woman- been happily married almost 11 years- 2 wonderful healthy kids- not a thing wrong with my life. I love the Lord. I pray for help daily every day. Help me stop drinking, Lord. I don't want to never drink again- I just want to be like my friends who can have a couple on the weekend. Not care to drink during the week. Not have this presence in my life. I wake up groggy, tired, slow from alcohol. I promise I won't drink tonight. I start thinking about drinking by 3pm and slowly lose my morning resolve to not drink. I think I'll have one. Then after one, just one more. I can watch my hand reaching in the fridge for the chilled chardonnay (my drug of choice) and watch my hands pouring just a little more, time and again. It's like watching the same movie over and over. The same night every night. I laugh at myself- yeah, your not drinking tonight, right. I hear the same thoughts in mind every morning on the toilet for the morning pee- I have got to get my **** together. I am not going to drink tonight. I'm done..............

I spend the vast majority of my days thinking about drinking, not drinking, not being able to stop drinking, feeling physically bad from drinking, feeling guilty from drinking, feeling guilty that I can't seem to control myself. I think of that Tom Petty song that says "I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down.....Tired of myself, tired of this town...." I'm so bored of my drinking.

Today I was googling AA and ran across an article about Naltrexone..... I have hope!!

Now I am on the search to find a doctor in my area who prescribes Naltrexone.....

Thanks for reading...

love my fam,
Your story is mine also! There is nothing wrong in my life, I have a job I love, family and friends, and yet I kept drinking and feeling guilty, but the Nal is helping, been on for a week. Find your Nal and find the help you have been praying for. Good luck.

I think many of us here were in some version of your shoes at one stage of the game. The GOOD NEWS (pun intended) is that if you have a burning desire to quit, with the help of "NAL" (Naltrexone) you can be delivered from the demon of alcohol!!! Watching that movie every night, over and over and over again does make one feel like they are truly possessed -- and in fact are, by alcohol addiction.

Talk to you doctor about Naltrexone. If he/she doesn't know enough about it, ask to be referred to an addictions specialist, who should know about it. If you can't get a prescription for it, then it is available online. Others here have taken that route, although having a doctors supervision is best.

Congratulations for your willingness to change -- you now have the wisdom to do it. Go for it. Welcome. Keep us posted! Try to get your hands on a copy of Dr's Roy Escapa and Sinclair's book, "The Cure for Alcoholism". I think a new one is out now too. I found mine via Kindle on my iPad.

Take care.

So happy for you , it sounds like me one month ago. the wine demon had me by the throat. I get my meds online, all day chemists, I did not want al on my medical record.

You have a wonderful and good doctor soon and get treatment. I am glad to know how thankful you are of God, after all, we all need to turn back to him, he is the creator and we should always be thankful to him. You can replace paper now and explore about as well.

To believe in yourself is the easiest way in my opinion. And I read the same thing in an essay roo review I read about this post. I am quite amazed to see the opinions and the choices of people, you should read them.